


Two Sides of the Same Coin

by mttraspberrypie



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alphys & Mettaton Friendship (Undertale), Mettaton EX (Undertale), Mettaton-centric (Undertale), Paparazzi, Papyrus (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Papyrus (Undertale)-centric, Trans Mettaton (Undertale)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:54:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 49,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26620048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mttraspberrypie/pseuds/mttraspberrypie
Summary: Mettaton couldn’t be happier now that they’re all on the surface. He finally has everything he’s ever wanted- fame, being able to feel like himself, and even being reunited with his cousin- everyone loves him! His life is finally where it was always meant to be- until the paparazzi gets too invasive, the whole world never takes its eyes off him, bad habits start to form, and someone starts to stalk him- threatening his safety AND reputation.Papyrus is having a harder time than most. Even though they’re all free, It seems that most humans on the surface don’t like him much... not to mention that no matter how hard he tries he can’t seem to get a job, or even afford to pay rent. Maybe he was better off in the Underground- at least he had a job there.Brought together by what seems like fate- or just brunch- will these two be able to resolve their issues for the better- while maybe growing closer in the process?
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Mettaton/Papyrus (Undertale)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 60
Collections: Papyton Fics





	1. Brunch, Paparazzi, and Sticky Notes

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is! The promised Papyton fic- it’s a multi-chapter fic, so keep your eye out for updates! Please comment and kudos if you enjoy!

It’s hard to believe what life once was.

This is something that Mettaton will forever sit and ponder. That’s all he’s done in his free time- granted, when he’s not performing or berating a certain lousy employee or bringing massive amounts of joy and envy to everyone who has the pleasure of meeting him.

Yet it's a constant theme. After Alphys built him his first new body- not his EX form, but rather, his boxy rectangular form, supported by one very efficient wheel- he would constantly look back on his old self and think, “I can’t believe that was ever my life.” 

That sad little pink ghost in Waterfall, hopeless and lonely and ever-so depressed- at times he looks back on that monster with pity. 

And then there are the times where he almost laughs- that’s not him! How could it be? He was so not himself- the only things he’ll never look back upon scornfully are his cousins, and even then those fond memories of them floating through the dump in search of what were essentially little treasures in mountains of trash- in Mettaton’s case, it would usually be some sort of movie or human CD- are tainted by what he’d done. 

Leaving his cousins was somehow the most difficult and yet easy decision Mettaton would ever make. When he had tossed the key to his house in that waterfall, he’d felt like a magnet finally pulled apart. Finally, he was free! Free to be himself, to have his dreams come true, to live a life where he could be happy.

And yet, he could almost feel the lingering pull of his soon-to-be old life. His cousins- Maddy, Blooky- he would miss them. He would miss listening to one of Blooky’s new mixes, or rolling his eyes fondly whenever Maddy got too knife happy whenever they were ranting about something.

They were the only things Mettaton would miss, though. And when he had weighed them out, the choice was clear. He had to leave. How could he live a life where he was never himself in any single waking moment? A life where he could never do what he knew he was meant to, what would make him happy? It simply wasn’t fair to have these weights on his shoulders, the pressings of a life past- not that his cousins were burdens on him, but still. Maddy had already left by then, leaving the farm to become a training dummy, although still sporadically popping in from time to time to check on the two remaining Blooks.

Soon to be one, of course.

Blooky would always be important to him- they were cousins! But the spotlight awaited- and with it, a life where Mettaton was Mettaton, and things were better, and he wouldn’t constantly have to live his life wondering who he might have been if he hadn’t taken the plunge.

Of course, him looking back on his little ghost self wasn’t the only time he marveled at how different and strange life was. The moment he’d become corporeal with his EX form, Mettaton had looked back on his boxy self with befuddlement. 

And then, the surface- the surface! The sunlight, the sky, the stars- not as bright as him- the opportunities… it’s strange for him to think how they once all lived Underground. Dark, dreary, crowded- it’s nothing compared to the spacious and constantly happening life of the surface.

This is what Mettaton ponders right before he shuts down, every night. His life in flashes, like a timeline of events. And this is what he ponders now, in his large, bigger-than-any-royal-family-member sized bed, complete with lavish silk sheets and soft, velvet pillows. 

It’s midday, and Mettaton still hasn’t gotten out of bed. Which might seem unusual to the untrained eye- THE Mettaton not out of bed by noon? The very same Mettaton who’s been in numerous films and TV shows- all starring and usually produced by his very own self- as well as the Mettaton who had numerous clothing lines, hit songs, and massive amounts of fans?

Just at the thought of this, Mettaton grins. Surface life really is amazing! He’s an even brighter star here- how did the humans ever have a life worth living without him? The moment he left the Underground, Mettaton had taken every deal and opportunity there was to take- and there were many, seeing as he was a robot with a soul- yes, he hasn’t exactly cleared that up yet, but it isn't exactly necessary to, right?- and quite the talented performer.

Soon enough, Mettaton had become a household name- and all for his talent- which was relieving in itself, since Mettaton didn’t want to have to be some sort of wonder of science because he was “a robot with a soul.” Fortunately, his fame got him where he is now- apparently, when a hoard of monsters come out from the Underground suddenly after years of being imprisoned down there, no one really bothers to wonder about the scientific technicalities of certain monsters and their corporeal forms.

No one could deny it- Mettaton was practically destined to be a star. And now he has deals lined up as far as the eye can see- of course he does! 

Right in the midst of him thinking literally all of this- maybe he should write a book- his phone buzzes. Mettaton glances at his homescreen- another person has liked one of his posts- at a quick glance, it appears to be the fiftieth out of a thousand series of selfies with him lounging on a pink piano, pouring glitter on himself. 

One million likes and counting! Mettaton sighs- he loves his fans. Honestly, he can’t believe how nice humans are- well, he can, because he’s amazingly gorgeous and rich and talented and he could go on- but still. Sure, there have been protests against monsters, all assembled by humans, but when he looks at all the likes just one picture of him gets, or at one of his audiences at a sold-out show, he feels himself glowing brighter, like the star he is.

Another buzz, only this time there are continuous buzzes- oh? Is there a large stampede of fans all liking his posts? Has he made it on the trending page of Twitter AGAIN? Is he being tagged in some sort of controversial Twitter argument that all started with some less talented and less gorgeous celebrity who’s kind of trashy vaguing him in a tweet, only for him to come out on top with a witty remark and completely destroy their career and gain even MORE fans which causes him to be crowned Most Amazingly Gorgeous Talented And Famous Person To Ever Exist Who’s Literally Better Than Everyone Else So Don’t Even Try To Win This Crown Or Else??? (That’s a thing, right? If not, he’ll make it be, and then he’ll WIN!)

Oh, no. It’s just Alphys.

Mettaton rolls his eyes- not at the fact that his friend is calling him, but at the fact that the moment lacked such dramatic appeal!- and presses the green answer button.

“H-Hey Metta. I-“

“You really ruined that moment for me, darling.” Mettaton remarks, gazing at the framed picture of himself he’s hung above his bed- to remind him of who his greatest inspiration is.

“I- what?” Alphys sounds confused- Mettaton decides it’s not worth it to go into detail about how his day had started with him thinking about every morning in his life ever, all leading to him hyping himself up for nothing.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he sighs, “Is there something you needed? Or are you just calling me to chat? Because if so, I’ve been wondering if I should start Twitter drama. Also, is there a way to be nominated for Most Amazingly Gorgeous Talented And Famous Person To Ever Exist Who’s Literally Better Than Everyone Else So Don’t Even Try To Win This Crown Or Else? Because I really do think I qualify.”

“For the last time, Metta, that doesn’t exist.” Alphys sighs, although it’s a fond sort of sigh- the sigh Mettaton would normally use when Maddy almost got thrown in jail that one time for causing what could only be called “an overabundance of knives in the area.”

“Anyways,” Alphys continues, snapping Mettaton out of that particular memory, “I was wondering if you wanted to, uh, grab b-breakfast? Well, I, uh, guess it’d be brunch.”

“Sounds great, darling. Where is it at?” Mettaton asks- brunch really does sound nice, especially since Alphys had modified his systems so that he’s sort of required to eat human food to have energy- his soul needs it, and monster food isn’t as popular nowadays.

“I’ll send you the address. Uh, do you mind if Undyne comes? It was her idea, so…” Alphys trails off. It’s common knowledge that Undyne and Mettaton aren’t exactly best friends- for whatever reason, they just don’t get along. 

Which is fine- Mettaton doesn’t exactly have an aching void that can only be filled with loud screaming monsters that throw spears at you when you try to use their pianos to look gorgeous on.

Whatever, he can look gorgeous anywhere.

Mettaton thinks about this- if he goes, he’ll probably get into some sort of tiff with Undyne, but he does want to spend time with Alphys, and it would be nice to get out of the house on his day off- well, half day off, since he has a ton of meetings, quite a few revolving around the photoshoot he’s going to be doing on the cover of some dry popular human magazine- and grab a bite to eat.

Plus, it's not like he can just ask Alphys not to invite her girlfriend to brunch- the brunch apparently being Undyne’s idea, too.

“It’s fine, darling. Send me the address now so I can get going.”

“A-Alright!” Alphys sounds relieved, and Mettaton’s glad. They’d grown apart in the Underground, but now they’re finally friends again. It’s nice- he’d missed this sort of thing, even if he didn’t know he did back then.

“I’ll see you there, darling. Bye for now!” Mettaton hangs up the phone, and glances at himself in one of the many full length mirrors in his bedroom.

Yes, it's true. He’s truly the happiest he’s ever been.

***

Thankfully, the brunch place they’re all supposed to meet up at is quite close to his house.

However, Mettaton does arrive late. It’s not his fault though! He’d spend about forty minutes deciding what outfit to wear- the issue wasn’t that he had no good-looking clothes, but rather that he looked good in everything.

Quite the dilemma. Thankfully, he was able to get some help from his personal stylist- which he immediately disregarded due to him coming to the conclusion that he doesn’t even need one. He really doesn’t! After all, he IS the final word in fashion.

The front of the restaurant has an outdoor dining area- or, rather, a sequestered one. Covering the outdoor diners is a large screen, with vines and bushes blocking the view of the diners.

Mettaton sighs. He’s not about to make a fool of himself just walking into the restaurant and spending a good five minutes looking for Alphys. He’s not in grade school, looking for a table to eat at.

Pulling out his phone, he texts Alphys.

*Where are you? I just arrived. 

Almost immediately, he gets a response.

*i see you! :0  
*we’re in that vine covered thing.  
*at the table to the far right ^.^

Mettaton snorts. Of course Alphys sees him- it reminds him of the old days in the Underground, when she constantly had cameras everywhere. Not that he’s upset at her for it- he’s never one to shy away from the cameras.

Tipping down the brim of his large sun hat, Mettaton quickly enters the sequestered eating area- normally, he wouldn’t be so impatient about arriving at a table, but it's never a good thing to get surprised by the paparazzi.

Not that he minds them. Taking pictures of him when he’s constantly looking fabulous? Yes, please. However, he isn’t about to drag Alphys and Undyne into that- contrary to popular belief, he has standards.

As soon as he enters, he spots Undyne and Alphys. They’re sitting exactly where Alphys said they were- the table at the far right. Mettaton makes his way over to then, already beginning to take off his sun hat- there’s no point when there’s not much paparazzi or sun.

“Hey, douchebag. We’ve been waiting for you for like an hour.” Undyne greets him- Mettaton fights back the urge to roll his eyes, and then remembers he’s wearing sunglasses and gladly does so.

“Hello to you too, darling.” Mettaton replies dryly, and takes a seat.

“Hey, Metta. We were, uh, waiting for you. So we could all order together.” Alphys gives him one of her nervous little smiles, and Mettaton feels a pang of guilt for being so late- he knows Alphys isn’t saying this to make him feel bad, but he really didn’t mean to lose track of time. 

“Sorry for the hold-up, darlings. I was deciding what to wear. One should always look one’s best, after all.” Mettaton picks up a menu and begins to glance over it- he wants something light, seeing as how after this he’ll have to head to a few meetings, and then his photoshoot. 

“That was what took you an hour?” Undyne scoffs. “All of that time for that dress?”

“It's an MTT Brand dress, darling. Not just any old rag,” Mettaton smirks, and stands up, giving them a twirl. “Isn’t it absolutely beautiful?”

The dress in question is a sundress- a light yellow color. It's very flowy, which makes for good twirls- and, judging by the shell shocked stare of some skeleton, who just happens to be entering the restaurant, Mettaton can guess that this twirl was nothing less than successful.

“Hello, darling. Are you a fan?” Mettaton asks kindly, giving the skeleton a warm smile.

“Yo, Papyrus! Come over here, you big goof!” Undyne gives the skeleton a big, toothy grin, waving him over.

“You know him?” Mettaton asks, now confused. The skeleton hasn’t even acknowledged Undyne- he’s just standing there, jaw dropped, his hands comedicaly placed on both sides of his head. He looks like one of those silly cartoon characters Alphys is always watching.

Before either Undyne or Alphys can respond, the skeleton finally speaks.

“OH! MY GOD!!!”

And then he runs to the indoors part of the restaurant, out of sight.

“Well, that was… interesting.” Mettaton remarks, and sits down. He doesn’t quite know what to think- he’s experienced many a fan break down in tears just at the sight of him, fans declaring their undying love for him, fans grabbing nearby chairs and hurtling them at other fans just to get a better look at him, in what could only be described as “an overabundance of chairs in the area.”

“I should, uh, go after him before he starts freaking out even more.” Undyne say hurriedly, and immediately gets out of her seat to search for the skeleton.

“Do you think I should go too? I’d feel horrible if I caused him to panic even more.” Mettaton murmurs, scanning over the menu, “Oh, he looked so upset! I wish I could reassure… whatever his name is.”

There are two thoughts going through his head. 

The first one is that he’s worried about the poor skeleton. It’s always stressful to meet someone you admire- and in this case, it seems the skeleton was feeling quite a bit of stress.

The second one is that he wants something fruity- maybe a fruit salad? Some sort of juice?

“You mean Papyrus?” Alphys asks.

“No, no, not papayas- I’m thinking something more tasty. Like raspberries.” Mettaton shakes his head. “Maybe a smoothie?”

Alphys blinks, and then snorts. “N-No, MTT, Papyrus. That’s his name. Not papayas.”

“Oh. Well, how could I have known? That’s not exactly a common name.” 

“Neither is, uh, Mettaton.” Alphys raises an eyebrow, trying to keep a smile off her face.

“But it’s a fabulous name nonetheless!” Mettaton flashes her a dazzling smile.

“True. Anyway, Papyrus, is a, uh, pretty huge fan of yours. Like, he’s memorized pretty much all the answers to your quiz shows,” Alphys says, looking a little apologetic, “He’s been a little, uh, d-down recently. You know, coming up to the surface with all these changes and all. People have been giving him a-a bit of a hard time, so Undyne, uh…”

“Undyne what?” Mettaton raises an eyebrow- he can already tell he’s not going to like what Alphys says next, judging off the nervous smile she’s giving him, and the fact that she can’t seem to muster up any more words.

“She, uh, thought it would be nice if we… invited you to brunch with us??? To cheer him up???” Alphys stammers.

“So that’s why you invited me today? Just so Undyne could… what, use me?!” Mettaton sputters- he’d thought Alphys had actually wanted to spend time with him! And now, finding out that the only reason he’s even out in this heat is just so Undyne could make him cheer up some stranger.

It's not as if he’s against cheering up a fan- the exact opposite, actually. He would do anything for a fan- that’s all he ever does. But it does sting a little to find out that Alphys was hiding this from him today- so much for having a nice brunch.

“Oh, M-Mettaton… no, that’s not it at all!” Alphys frets, “I really did want to h-hang out with you! I swear Undyne wasn’t trying to use you, it’s just that she and Papyrus are like, best friends, and he hasn’t been able to find a job, and people think he’s a little, uh, weird, so Undyne really wanted to make him feel better… I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have hid this from you… she’s just been really worried about him lately, and I didn’t want to make things worse.”

Mettaton frowns. Maybe he’s overreacted a little. He can understand where Undyne is coming from- if, say, Blooky was feeling down in the dumps, he’d want to cheer them up in the best possible way, too. And it is a little sweet- a word Mettaton never thought he’d use to describe Undyne- that Undyne wanted to set up a meeting so Papyrus could meet his favorite celebrity. 

Mettaton sighs.

“Oh, I’m sorry too, Alphy. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at you. You didn’t even really do anything, anyway.” Mettaton gives her a small smile, and is reassured when she returns it.

“I-It’s alright… I’m sorry that we put you in this position, though. I know you thought you were, um, just going to hang out with us for a bit. I-I don’t want you to feel p-pressured into anything-“

“Oh, nonsense, Alphys! You know I never say no to a fan.” Mettaton grins, “Besides, it would be nice to have Undyne owe me a favor after this. Do you think she’d let me use her piano again?”

“Don’t you have a piano?” Alphys asks, tilting her head slightly. Why the constant ani-may mannerisms?

“Yes, but it’s no fun to use my own when I could use Undyne’s AND have her have to let me.”

Just as Mettaton says this, Papyrus and Undyne return- Papyrus doesn’t look much better than how he did before, his brow-bone- was that what it was called?- creased, not to mention the fact that he sort of seemed to be stopping at every given interval as him and Undyne approached the table, almost as if he were constantly changing his mind about coming back.

Mettaton frowns. Poor Papyrus. While he doesn’t know the skeleton too well, he can only imagine his nerves- and it doesn’t seem to be helping that Undyne is constantly pushing him forward, a tight arm slung around Papyrus’ shoulders as if to keep him from running away.

“Oh, give it a rest, Undyne. I’m sure he’s perfectly capable of walking by himself.” Mettaton rolls his eyes- someone needs to put Papyrus out of his misery. 

Suddenly, Papyrus seems to come to life- he gives Undyne an embarrassed glare, attempting to shrug off her arm. “Yes, Undyne! No pushing the skeleton! Or forcing him out of a bathroom stall by ripping the door off of its hinges.” Papyrus seems to add this last part as an afterthought.

“Yeah, yeah! Just trying to make sure you don’t keel over at the sight of Metta-brat.” Undyne grins, and lets go of Papyrus- which, in hindsight, isn’t exactly a good idea, seeing as how Papyrus nearly falls over, having to grip onto the table for support. 

Mettaton’s eyes widen- and not in the weird way Alphys writes about in her fan fictions. “Are you okay, darling? Do you need some help?” Mettaton asks.

“N-No! The Great Papyrus will be fine! I’m simply just… making sure the material of this table is safe for us to… eat on! Yes, that’s what I’m doing!” Papyrus’ voice wavers, almost as if he’s trying to convince himself of this more than everyone else.

“Sure,” Undyne grins, “You gonna test out your chair too? To make sure it’s sittable?”

Papyrus jolts upright, foregoing holding onto the table. “Yes! Sitting! I’ll be sure to sit right now! Next to…” Papyrus’ voice seems to trail off, and for a moment, Mettaton isn’t sure why. Surely Papyrus can’t actually be all that apprehensive about sitting down.

Until it hits Mettaton. There’s only one empty seat left. Undyne and Alphys are sat towards the other end of the table, near each other. Which leaves the only open chair very close next to himself- of course Papyrus is nervous!

Thankfully, Mettaton is a practiced host. He’s had years of calming down the anxious- Blooky, Alphys, that one fan who ended up going into cardiac arrest just at the sight of his legs…

“Yes, why don’t you sit, Papyrus? That way we can all order- I’m excited, aren’t you? I’ve been looking at the menu and all the options look absolutely divine.”

“S-Sure thing, Mettaton- erm, I mean… sir? Your Majesty?” Papyrus stammers, shakily taking a seat.

Mettaton can’t help it- a giggle escapes him. “You’re funny, Papyrus. No, Mettaton will be fine- while I’m very much celebrity royalty, I’m not so stuffy to be called all that. You can feel free to call me whatever you want- including beautiful.”

Papyrus’ face- skull?- is immediately taken over by a bright blush. 

Mettaton laughs. “Oh, I’m teasing, darling! The look on your face.”

“Oh, brother,” Undyne rolls her eyes, “Do you guys know what you want yet? I’m feeling eggs! Pure PROTEIN! THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU STRONG!”

“I-I think I’ll get some, um, pancakes… yeah, pancakes sound good.” Alphys says decisively, nodding her head. 

“Hmm… I’m thinking something light. I do have a long day ahead of me, after all.” Mettaton muses. 

“A long day ahead of you? What will you be doing? Are you filming for any of your shows today?” Papyrus blurts out- and then, upon noticing that he’d actually said a coherent sentence to Mettaton, immediately seemed to shrink back. “I-If you’re alright telling me, that is. The Great Papyrus does not condone peer pressure!”

“Glad to hear it, darling. And don’t worry, you didn’t ask anything pressuring at all. Let’s see… while I’m not filming today, I do have a few meetings having to do with a few projects that WILL be going into filming soon,” Mettaton winks, “As well as a meeting having to do with an upcoming photoshoot. How about you, darling? Have any plans yourself?”

“Wowie! That sounds like quite the packed schedule! You must be very hardworking- not that I doubt that you are! I’ve watched all of your movies and make sure to record any upcoming episodes of all of your shows- the quality of them just shows how hardworking you must be!”

“Why, thank you- I won’t deny that I love what I do. That’s what makes me work so hard! As well as my fans, of course- they’re why I’m here right now-“

“OH MY GOD WE GET IT!!! YOU DO MOVIES AND SHIT!!!” Undyne groans loudly- and totally rudely! The nerve of her, interrupting a perfectly good conversation about himself like that!

“Rude. I also do TV, modeling, singing-“

“Yeah, yeah, we get, you work. Anyways… drinks? Are we doing drinks???” Undyne asks, a large grin spread across her face.

“O-Oh, I don’t know, Undyne. It’s still pretty early.” Alphys mutters. And then, suddenly, “Although I guess one wouldn’t hurt.”

Mettaton grins in surprise- Alphys usually doesn’t drink all that much, like, ever! And now she’s open to drinking when there’s not even an occasion that calls to?

“Alphys, I’m shocked. I never knew you were so adventurous.” Mettaton teases, raising an eyebrow, “I mean, really, at one in the afternoon? A drink?? The scandal! Ooooh, my!”

“S-Shut up. It’s just one.” Alphys rolls her eyes, already used to her best friend’s antics.

“The world is spinning off its axis! The doctor drinking- it’s almost as if I don’t know you anymore!” Mettaton puts a dramatic hand to his forehead and pretends to swoon.

“Well, I, for one, will not be taking part in these drinks! It is far too early, and I do have to drive myself home un-inebriated, like any good citizen would do.” Papyrus states proudly, raising his chin a little.

“Count me out too, darlings. I’ll just be getting a fruit salad for now.” Mettaton pushes his menu to the center of the table, done reading it. He’s never been a big drinker- a glass of wine or two at parties, the occasional drink with friends, sure, but he’s never been the type to drink whenever one was available. Maybe he would be a little more free with this sort of thing if it weren’t for his fame- but, as every celebrity knows, someone is always watching. And Mettaton isn’t about to make a fool out of himself for the world to see, just because he decided to let loose and have fun- there’s too much at stake with his career, his reputation, his fan base.

Not that he minds much, though. It’s not as if he’s losing some great factor in his life by not being able to drink at brunch in this instance.

They all chat for a little. Alphys talks about her new job at some laboratory doing god-knows-what- Mettaton was never too good at understanding the specifics of all these science-y things, just that they made him truly be himself.

And gave him hot legs.

It’s all very pleasant and casual- they’re the only ones here at the moment, so Mettaton doesn’t have to worry about someone recognizing him- not that he would mind, he loves his fans- but there is something wrong, however.

Papyrus seems to be sort of… withdrawn. From the impression he’s gotten- Undyne occasionally mentioning Papyrus in passing back in the underground- Papyrus usually should be more loud and confident. Instead, he seems rather nervous- he’s still making contributions to the conversation at hand, but he keeps stopping himself in the middle of sentences, and his eyes keep flicking from his feet to Mettaton.

It’s clear Papyrus still isn’t at ease.

As they put their orders in- Alphys nearly spills her glass of water as she attempts to hand the waiter her menu, and promptly buries her face into Undyne’s shoulder for a good two minutes- Mettaton thinks on what he can do to make Papyrus feel more comfortable.

He knows that Undyne brought Papyrus here to cheer him up- specifically, to have Mettaton cheer him up, just by his very presence. This doesn’t seem to be working, though- in fact, his presence seems to be what's making Papyrus so uncomfortable in the first place.

Their food arrives in record time- Mettaton suspects it has something to do with the fact that, when the waiter had come up to take their orders, at the sight of Mettaton, his eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he’d rushed inside, presumably to alert the staff of his presence.

For a few moments, they cease all conversation to eat. Alphys drowns her pancakes in syrup, Undyne attacks her bacon and eggs like her life depends on it, and Mettaton’s fruit salad is subpar- he could have made a way better one, had it been an episode of Cooking With a Killer Robot- one complete with glitter and everything.

“How’s your food, Papyrus?” Mettaton asks, glancing towards Papyrus’ plate. It’s an omelette, with a few potatoes on the side.

“It’s, um, alright! I mean, it’s good! It’s very good. Very.” Papyrus startles, seemingly having been so concentrated on his food that anything else- especially Mettaton- would snap him out of his extreme concentration.

“There’s no right answer, darling. Well, had I made it, there might be, but since I didn’t, I think you’re safe for now.” Mettaton flashes Papyrus a dazzling smile- the type that disarms someone. 

In this case, Papyrus looks like his… eye sockets are about to bulge out of his head.

“Well… I was just thinking that this omelette looks a lot less black and shriveled up than I’m used to.” Papyrus says hesitantly, gesturing to the lump of yellow ness on his plate.

Mettaton’s eyes widen. “Black and shriveled up? Papyrus, what kind of omelettes have you been eating up until now? Is that some sort of trend I’m not aware of?”

If it was, Mettaton has a pretty good idea of what the next episode of Cooking With a Killer Robot will be about.

“He’s been eating Undyne-style omelettes, punk!” Undyne cuts in. “And they're cooked to perfection!”

“And by cooked to perfection, I’m sure you mean on fire and inedible.” Mettaton snarks, rolling his eyes. He can recall many instances in which Undyne made fun of multiple food products of his, and all to find out that she’s been eating burnt food- and serving it to others. Gross.

“Yes, exactly!Has Undyne cooked for you, too?” Papyrus beams at Mettaton- the first instance where he’s not shaking in his boots with nervousness, it seems.

“No, I haven’t had the… pleasure… of having her cook for me.” Mettaton gives Undyne one of his MTT Brand Side Eyes- trademark still pending.

“Why’d you say it like that, huh?! My food is totally-“

Just then, a loud shriek resounds from inside the restaurant.

“Uh oh.” Undyne mutters, all ferocity gone from her voice.

“What’s wrong?” Alphys looks up at her girlfriend, concerned. Anything that can make Undyne go ‘uh oh’ isn’t good.

“I think they found that door of the bathroom stall that I ripped off… I’d better go see.” Undyne gets up from the table and runs inside the restaurant, leaving Mettaton with his mouth hung open- in an attractive way, of course.

“She wasn’t joking about that???”

“I-I’d better go after, and make sure she doesn’t, uh, supplex anyone.” Alphys mumbles, following her girlfriend.

“Honestly, I don’t know why I’m so surprised she actually did this, knowing her.” Mettaton rolls his eyes.

“Uh, yes! Undyne can be very… ripping-off-doorish when she wants to be.” Papyrus replies, looking at anywhere but Mettaton. With the way he’s staring at his fork, you’d think they were the next big thing.

As if.

Mettaton refuses to let this awkward silence pass by. For his sake and Papyrus’ sake.

“So, darling, do you cook much? Since you seem to be so invested in that omelette and all.” Mettaton questions, having another bite of his fruit salad.

“O-Oh! Well, I do consider myself quite the skilled chef! I’ve been known to make quite a ‘mean’ plate of pasta- and by mean, I mean the type that starts and comes to cultivate a long lasting friendship, of course.” Papyrus seems to perk up at this topic- he must be very passionate about cooking.

“That sounds fabulous- I’ll have to try it sometime.” Mettaton remarks, resting his chin against his palm.

“You… you want to try my spaghetti?” Papyrus asks, in disbelief.

“Of course I do, darling. I mean, you’ve built it up to be-“

“If you’re truly serious about trying my pasta, I warn you, it will bring friendship levels to you that may be very overwhelming! Few have been able to withstand the friendship it brings! That is… if you’re okay with that, of course.” Papyrus looks at Mettaton tentatively, and Mettaton can’t help but smile.

Well, no one can ever say his fans aren’t unique. This seems to be Papyrus’ subtle way of asking to be friends- and while Mettaton doubts he’ll ever see Papyrus again- not out of a lack of wanting to, but more out of the fact that Mettaton has a very busy, glamorous life, and he doesn’t exactly know the skeleton all that well- he doesn’t mind the skeleton’s company, so it really won’t do much harm to have them call each other friends. Besides, Papyrus seems nice. 

And, really, again, what are the odds that they’ll be seeing much of each other?

“I will be sure to whip you up a plate of pasta unlike any other! The world will have never known the taste this dish will grace you with!” Papyrus declares, pointing his index finger in the air, as if to make it more official. “This will be the beginning of a great friendship!”

Papyrus really is nice. Even if Mettaton probably won’t see much of the skeleton again, he doesn’t regret this conversation. It’s rare that people are this sincere- fans or not.

Not that his fans aren’t sincere. They’re amazing, of course. 

“I’ll look forward to it. Are you a chef? You seem so passionate about cooking, and I don’t know many who have that sort of passion that wouldn’t make a living out of it.” Mettaton really is curious about this- he has no idea about what Papyrus does, seeing as they’ve just met. 

“Sadly, I am not. I’d like to be, though!” Papyrus says- at this, he looks down at the floor. Mettaton wonders why- does Papyrus have an amazingly dramatic backstory? He just loves those.

“Oh? What do you do, then?”

“Well, I’m currently… in between jobs.” Papyrus mutters.

“In between what and what?” Mettaton asks, and then, off of Papyrus’ downcast expression, “Sorry, darling, I don’t mean to be pushy. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s alright! Yes, the rumors are true… The Great Papyrus is currently unemployed. But not for lack of trying! I am still currently in the process of applying for a number of jobs… and keeping up a healthy lifestyle, as well as my numerous hobbies.” Papyrus rubs the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish- almost as if he’s ashamed. “I really don’t mean to be a lazybones. It seems that on the surface it is quite a bit harder to... do certain things, than had we been Underground.”

“Oh, honey, there’s nothing wrong with not having a job. I’m sure many monsters don’t- it’s only been about, what, nine months since we arrived here? I’m still not even fully settled in.”

Well, technically this is a lie. Mettaton knows he’s probably more settled in than every monster combined. But it’s a lie to make Papyrus feel better, so it’s technically not a lie, right?

Well, he’s Mettaton. He can lie whenever he wants.

Papyrus seems to brighten up at this- see?- and smiles- not a bad smile, either.

“You’re right, Mettaton! I, The Great Papyrus, shall stress about this no more! After all, I am very great- it would be a shame for me to waste my time wallowing in the deep crevices of self pity, when I could be wallowing in the deep crevices of productivity! And potential job offers! Well, wherever either of those things happen to lurk.”

“That’s wonderful, darling! No use in being a gloomy gh- erm, nevermind.” Mettaton falters- that had practically been his catchphrase when he still lived with Blooky in the Underground. And even though they’re reunited now, performing together, it’s still a time Mettaton would rather not dwell on.

For now, it seems that Papyrus isn’t as nervous as before- while he’s definitely eyeing Mettaton in a fanboyish way, at least he’s not stammering as much as before, or not speaking at all.

Suddenly, Alphys and Undyne are back- Undyne looks a little sheepish, rubbing the back of her neck and throwing occasional glances towards the inside of the restaurant, where quite a few very angry staff members are glaring at her.

“I take it they weren’t happy about your destruction of public property?” Mettaton hums, leaning back in his seat, “Undyne, Undyne, Undyne. What’s next? Ripping the roof off of the building? Lighting the staff on fire?”

(Mentally, Mettaton makes a note of what he just said- it would make for a great restaurant review show.)

“They’re, uh, making her pay a fine. At least they didn’t send her to jail?” Alphys says, trying to comfort her girlfriend, who’s clearly stressed.

Well, Mettaton would be too, he supposes.

Now’s not the time for stress, though. It’s the time to get what he’s wanted for so long.

“I can pay that off for you, darlings. No need to fret- I just want one thing.” Mettaton gives Undyne an angelic smile- Undyne looks less than impressed.

“Of course there’s a catch with you, bolts-for-brains! What is it?? Do you want me to buy one of your lame products or something?!”

Mettaton glares at her. “Oh, please. My amazingly beautiful products don’t need your grubby little fingerprints all over them- no, what I want is something far more useful to me.”

Mettaton’s been waiting for this.

The tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw.

“Stop being so damn dramatic and just spit it out!” Undyne groans, already looking like she’s regretting this.

Mettaton takes a deep breath, and folds his hands on top of the table.

“I want total, unadulterated use of your piano. Whenever I want.”

“Oh HELL NO-“

Right as Undyne is no doubt about to start yelling, a bright flash of light momentarily blinds them all.

Undyne, Alphys, and Papyrus all look terribly confused.

To Mettaton, though, this is becoming the new normal- what he’s wanted ever since he was that sad little ghost in the Underground. 

He can’t help but smile.

“Mettaton! What are you eating?”

“Mettaton! Who are you with?”

“Mettaton! Mettaton! Mettaton!”

A chorus of people calling his name, and bright lights flashing in his every direction.

“Is that p-paparazzi?!” Alphys looks as if she’s in disbelief.

“That it is, doctor. It was only a matter of time, I suppose.” Mettaton shrugs, putting his sun hat and sunglasses back on. 

“Wowie, Mettaton! You’re really famous now!” Papyrus praises, looking in awe of Mettaton.

It’s a nice little ego boost.

His feel-good moment is interrupted, though, by Undyne growling. She looks like she’s about to start yelling at the paparazzi, and probably cause a huge scene involving a lot of spears and violence.

Which would normally be entertaining, except it wouldn't be a good look for him, and Mettaton isn’t all that interested if glittery chainsaws aren’t involved.

So, unless Mettaton wants tomorrow’s tabloids to be all about how one of his friends- not that he’d call Undyne that- decided to attack the paparazzi, he should probably make a graceful exit.

“Of course I am, darling. Well, I should get going now. Meetings to get to, and all that.” Mettaton says suavely, standing up from his seat. He moves over to Alphys to give her a small little hug, and glances at Papyrus, who has a mixture of disappointment and ever-remaining starstruckness on his face.

Mettaton can’t help but feel a little bad- Papyrus was finally starting to relax, and now he has to go.

“It was great meeting you, Papyrus. Good luck with the job hunting!” Mettaton Ives him a little wave- Papyrus looks over the moon- and leaves, the paparazzi immediately following him as he does.

And even after Mettaton is in the safety of his own car, he’s still thinking about it all. This is all he’s ever wanted- it’s truly a dream come true.

He might just be the luckiest monster there is.

***

Meanwhile, as soon as the paparazzi had fully left, trailing after Mettaton like ducklings, Alphys, Papyrus, and Undyne are left stunned.

“Wowie…” Papyrus mumbles under his breath.

“Well, that was c-certainly something.” Alphys sits up straighter, having been using the menu to cover her face.

“WOWIE!!!” Papyrus practically yells, “Mettaton is- he’s so-! Glamorous! Gorgeous! Generous!!!”

“I think that- hey!” Undyne stops herself in the middle of her own sentence, staring at Mettaton’s fruit salad.

“W-What’s wrong, Undyne?” Alphys asks, hoping this doesn’t lead to more bathroom doors being senselessly destroyed.

“YOU FORGOT TO PAY FOR YOUR MEAL, YOU ROBOTIC JERK!!!” Undyne yells, but it’s too late- Mettaton’s gone.

***

Mettaton’s exhausted- his battery levels are low, and he could really use a charge.

Other than that, though, Mettaton feels fulfilled- all his meetings went exactly the way he wanted them to, and now it’s finally time to go home.

As he makes his way to his car- one of the newer, more expensive models on the market, painted a glittery hot pink- something that’s been nagging him all day that he just couldn’t place comes to mind.

He totally forgot to pay for his meal.

Mettaton shrugs. He won’t worry too much about it- he’ll reimburse them later, when he gets home. 

Besides, the fruit salad wasn’t even that good.

Finally, Mettaton arrives at his car- he’ll give Blooky a call when he gets home, too, maybe they can meet up and get lunch or something- and is about to unlock it when something catches his eye.

A little slip of paper is stuck to his windshield.

Mettaton groans. Oh, great. Has he somehow gotten fined or something? Sure, he doesn’t really know how to drive all that well and might have accidentally-nearly-maybe crashed into a few cars, but can you blame him? It’s not as if there were really any cars in the Underground.

Mettaton picks up the little piece of paper, turning it over in his hands. It’s a yellow sticky note.

There’s nothing written on it. All there is on it is a drawing of a heart, in black pen.

Mettaton immediately looks around- he doesn’t know why he does this, or why he’s suddenly feeling a little spooked. This is a private area for parking, and it’s just a little sticky note, either way- nothing special about it, just a note with a heart.

Mettaton shakes his head. It’s probably something from a secret admirer- he’ll have to add this to the pile. Or maybe it’s from one of his more dedicated fans- one of them probably snuck into the parking lot, before being detained by security.

Mettaton smiles, absentmindedly pocketing the sticky note. He really does love his fans.

Fully at ease, he unlocks his car and slips in. Somehow, he’s thinking about brunch again- only this time, it’s about Papyrus.

The skeleton really was nice- totally nervous, but nice nonetheless. It’s always nice to meet a fan, and hopefully, he was able to cheer him up. 

Life really is perfect- the little ghost in the Underground would’ve never believed that this was where he would be. Finally able to perform, to feel like himself, to be the brightest star there is…

Mettaton’s happy, no doubt about it.

And, driving home, this is what he thinks of.

He doesn’t give the sticky note another thought.


	2. Exclusive Interviews, Egg Puns, and TV Remotes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus dwells on the aftermath of his meeting with Mettaton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! Hope you enjoy this chapter- please comment and kudos if you do!

The moment Papyrus gets home from his meeting with THE Mettaton, he nearly collapses from shock.

Well, actually, that’s inaccurate. He DOES collapse from shock- as soon as they all stood up to leave and go to their respective vehicles. Undyne had had to slap him to get him to wake up, proudly crediting the success of this method to the medical training she’d received when becoming head of the Royal Guard.

Briefly, Papyrus had wondered if medical training really did include all the methods Undyne had described- specifically the slap-inducing ones- before deciding that they most definitely did- after all, he’d woken up, hadn’t he?

Now, however, Papyrus is stood outside of his house- he’s made sure to carefully park his car next to Sans’ perplexingly irritating tricycle- really, how does Sans manage to go so fast??? It’s very laws of physics defying- typical sans, Papyrus supposes.

At the thought of his car, Papyrus turns to look at the aforementioned-but-not-really-because-he-technically-only-thought-of-it vehicle. 

It’s a bright red sports car- while it’s not quite a vintage or new model, Papyrus is happy being in the in-betweenness of cars! A new or vintage model would have been very expensive- one of the first things he had done when everyone had gotten to the surface- besides getting situated in his new house with his brother, of course- was get this car.

He had had to buy it used, but Papyrus knows this only makes the car better. After all, it’s already broken in! Besides, it’s nice to think that there’s someone else out there that’s driven this very car, and now passed it onto him- a potential friend out there! What if he were to one day be beside someone on the road, only to have them look over at his car and inform him that they, in fact, used to own this car? What a bond to have with someone!

Of course, it would be rather hard to have this conversation, given that they would most likely be driving, and therefore have to yell over the wind and the constant roar of other cars in passing, but it's still a nice thought.

Papyrus sighs, a small smile gracing his jaw. Things have been rather… difficult since he’s started surface life. Yet, this car serves as a reminder that life can still be good! This was the exact car that he always pictured himself driving, wind blowing through his non-existent hair, the sun shining on his skull… and now that dream has come true! There’s not even a need for his race car bed anymore!

(Well, Papyrus still owns it, but only because of the positive memories that come with it! And maybe the eensy weensy fact that, as it turns out, beds are rather expensive on the surface, along with nearly everything, it seems.)

Making sure that his car is locked, Papyrus is about to unlock the door of his house when, at the slightest touch of the doorknob, the door opens.

Papyrus groans.

“SANS! DID YOU LEAVE THE DOOR UNLOCKED???” Papyrus yells- not out of anger, although he is frustrated, but out of the fact that Sans is usually somewhere mysterious and unseeable, so Papyrus needs to make sure his voice carries. It’s what brothers do, after all.

“Sorry, bro. I was taking the trash out.” 

Papyrus jumps- this voice- Sans’ voice, clearly- had come from behind him. Sure enough, when Papyrus turns around, his brother is standing there, looking up at him.

For a second, Papyrus considers lecturing Sans on the dangers of leaving one’s door unlocked- there could be vandals and vagrants!- but he decides not to. Sans doing any sort of chore is a rare occasion- ever since they’ve arrived at the surface, Sans has become less lazy- now there’s only occasional self-sustaining tornadoes in his room, as opposed to the one constant one in the Underground.

“Well, if that’s all, then I’m glad you’re contributing to this household, brother! Although, please remember in the future to not leave the door unlocked- unlocked doors are the first step to an unlocked life, after all.” Papyrus advises- he’s not sure where he’s heard that quote, but it sounds wise, so there can’t be any harm in passing it onto Sans.

“Sure thing, bro. What were you out doing, again? Something with Undyne, right?” Sans asks, stepping into their house- Papyrus steps in as well, making sure to lock the door behind them.

Their new house has taken a while to get used to- for one thing, it’s not their old house, which would make anyone confused. There are other factors in this difficult home-integration, though.

It’s smaller, for instance. They no longer live in a two story house, but rather, a one story house- what would a one story house be called, a short story? A fable? Wait, he’s beginning to sound like Sans! Nevermind, a one story house would do.

Of course, this was all they could afford- not that it’s awful by any means! They’re in a nice neighborhood, so that’s for sure a plus! And sure, there’s a slight rodent problem, and his closet is significantly smaller, leaving less room for a lack of skeletons in his closet, and the doors all open in a different way than the other house, and the walls are thinner with crumbly paint, but they’re lucky to have it!

(Of course, there’s also the fact that they now have to pay rent, whereas with their Snowdin house, they had been able to simply… claim it??? Either way, rent is a thing now- a constant thing, one that seems to suck all their limited funds each and every month when it’s due…)

“Paps? You there?” Sans waves a hand in front of Papyrus’s face. Papyrus blinks, immediately taken away from his ocean of musings- like a stream of thoughts, but cooler!

“Yes, I am- and as for your question, I went out to brunch with Undyne and- OH MY GOD!!!” Papyrus yells, poaching his hands comically on both sides of his head. 

How could he have forgotten brunch today, especially when it consisted of his meeting of Mettaton?! Somehow, the event had slipped his mind- and yet here he is, remembering it all again- Papyrus grips the sofa and sits down shakily, not wanting to collapse again.

“What, was the food that good? Man, I must be missing out. Bet it was egg-celent.” Sans grins, casually plopping down on the couch next to Papyrus.

Even through his excitement to tell Sans about Mettaton, Papyrus can’t help but groan.

“Sans, that was awful!!”

“Yeah, my bad. Must’ve been eggstrodinary instead.”

“No! Do not continue with this garbage!”

“Eggceptional?”

“SANS!!!” Papyrus tries to fight the smile trying to overtake his face, but he can’t. Not wanting to give his brother the satisfaction of knowing one of his terrible puns got to him, Papyrus turns his head away from Sans in a totally not-obvious way, and changes the subject. “Well, I’ll have you know that there was something amazing and non-egg related that happened today.”

“Yeah? What was it?”

“Well… I met Mettaton.” Papyrus says, doing his best to deliver the line with a certain level of anticipation- like Mettaton would!

Only, he pauses for so long that Sans just looks mildly confused when he does. No need to dwell on it, though!

“Oh. Cool.” Sans replies, and Papyrus rolls his non-existent eyes.

“Sans! How can you be so nonchalant??? I met Mettaton! THE Mettaton!!” 

“I’m happy for you, bro. What was he like? Did he talk about his legs?” Sans smirks- to the best of the ability a skeleton has when they have a permanent grin- waggling his brow bones teasingly.

Papyrus looks away, face flushed. It’s no secret he’s long been an admirer of the robot’s legs- but then again, who isn’t? What monster or human HASN’T watched Mettaton’s MTT Brand Work Out Tape (Guaranteed To Whip You Into Shape, Darling!) and paused occasionally to glance at his legs- but only to appreciate his flexibility!

“Well, for your information, he was very nice and perfectly charming, so there!” Papyrus grins, crossing his arms at his brother- in jest!

Sans shrugs. “You sure got me, bro. So, nothing about the legs? I was sure I’d hear a Metta-ton of mentions of ‘em!”

“Sans!! It doesn’t count as a pun if it’s his name!! I don’t think…? Either way, it’s low hanging fruit!” 

“Really, Paps? That really grinds my gears. It robo-breaks my heart, if you will.”

It takes Papyrus a moment to truly process the garbageness of these puns.

Before Papyrus can say anything about it, Sans holds his hands out in front of him, as if it’s a peace offering. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop. What happened at brunch?”

Papyrus is relieved- he doesn’t know how many more bad puns he could have sat through- and that’s saying something, as there was once a day where Sans told approximately fifty puns, all one after the other- it was madness.

“Well…” Papyrus lapses into a recap of brunch, making sure not to leave out any details. It’s still such an amazing event to recall- when he had woken up at four in the morning, as always, he hadn’t ever thought he’d be meeting his idol at brunch!

“-and he said he would eat my spaghetti, Sans! That’s clearly a sign of him wanting to pursue a friendship with me! Not that I blame him- I am pretty great, after all.” Papyrus finishes, beaming proudly at his brother.

“You’re right about that, bro,” Sans says, “So you two are gonna be, uh, friends now, huh?”

“Of course we are, Sans! He said he would ‘look forward’ to trying my pasta. You don’t just try someone’s pasta if you aren’t looking to forge a long-lasting friendship with them! It’s common knowledge!”

“Uh huh,” Sans nods his head dubiously, “Well, I’m happy for you, Paps. Sounds like he’s a nice guy.”

“He was. And charming, too!” Papyrus sighs, looking off into the distance- it seems that the events of today won’t leave his head, which is something he’s fine with- today might even make his Top Five Best Days Ever! (His third best day ever is the day he and Undyne managed to cook something without burning her house down- while it wasn’t as cool, it at least saved Undyne from having to call over Woshua and Aaron to use their water, and, in Aaron’s case, sweat, to put out the fire.)

A friendship with Mettaton… wow! That’s the only word Papyrus can think to describe it as. He’d never have dreamed of even being able to meet the entertainer, seeing as Mettaton has become more popular than ever- and rightfully so! It seems that both humans and monsters alike adore the robot, admiring everything from his talent, to his charisma, to his sexiness.

Papyrus had been nervous at first, today. He reasons with himself, though- who wouldn’t be? Being in the presence of the brightest star there is- it’s a very nerve-wracking thing! Well, it would be if he had nerves, of course. Either way, that nervousness had gradually melted away as Mettaton coaxed him into conversation. Asking him kind but not intrusive questions, being patient when Papyrus faltered, not acting as if he were some sort of weird freak- nevermind, he doesn’t want to necessarily think about that at the moment.

(Weird looks, going out of their way to avoid him)

Mettaton had been everything Papyrus could have hoped for and more- the robot somehow managed to match and exceed his level of charm compared to himself on TV! Which was quite an impressive feat.

(Whispers, always the whispers)

A friendship with Mettaton- what would that entail? The star had been so kind to him today- 

(As if he can’t hear them whispering)

-and that had really meant everything. Really, one couldn’t ask for a better first meeting with someone! Papyrus starts to think- what spaghetti-related recipes would Mettaton like? Surely something fancy- it can’t be any plain old pasta! He needs to impress him- after all, everyone knows that one bad batch of spaghetti can end a friendship quicker than anything!

Papyrus has admired Mettaton for a long time, and now that he’s met him, the admiration has only grown more- he really can’t get over Mettaton’s kindness today. The robot could have easily ignored him and kept on eating as soon as he ran away from the table- not that Mettaton would ever do that, being the kind and always-appreciative-towards-his-fans star that he is! But still, it speaks volumes. Ever since his first broadcast- there had been a little bit of everything in it, showcasing all of the robot’s talents- Papyrus had been a loyal fan, buying all of his merchandise, taping his shows-

“Oh my god!!!” Papyrus shoots up like a rocket- there being more beyond the surface is really a wonder- and immediately lunges for the TV remote- which happens to be right beside him, so maybe him shooting up wasn’t completely necessary.

But it sure did encapsulate the intensity of the situation!

“What’s up? Did you have another brunch with another famous robot?” Sans asks, not seeming bothered in the slightest by his brother’s sudden outburst.

‘No, of course not, Sans! Don’t be ridiculous!” Papyrus exclaims, turning the TV on, “I just realized that I’m missing Mettaton’s latest show! Well, interview is more like it. But he’s the one being interviewed, so it counts!”

“Didn’t you just meet him? Guess you didn’t have enough of your fill of him, huh?” Sans slowly but surely gets up from the couch, stretching his arms.

“One can never have enough Mettaton. Besides, I want to support him in any way I can! And that includes watching interviews with him in them.” Papyrus explains, and then turns his head to the TV screen.

A perky blonde woman sits in a news set, putting down a cup of coffee and smiling at the camera. “-so stay tuned for more on the couple’s trials and tribulations at nine! And, coming right up, we have an exclusive interview with everyone’s favorite robotic entertainer- Mettaton!”

“Welp, I’m gonna go take a nap. See ya.” Sans says, and starts to walk out of their living room- technically, it’s connected to the kitchen, so it’s really both, but that’s not exactly a pressing matter when Sans is leaving just as the aforementioned robot is about to appear on TV.

“You’re not going to stay and watch? It’s exclusive, Sans!” Papyrus calls to his brother, causing Sans to turn around and face him, right as he’s about to go into his room.

“Sorry, bro. I’ve got a shift later at Derrick’s. Have to rest up now if I don’t wanna be dead on my feet while I’m washing dishes. It would be a dish-aster.” Sans looks apologetic, giving Papyrus a light shrug.

Derrick’s. As far as Papyrus knows, it’s a family-oriented chain restaurant, and quite a popular one, too. Not because the food is particularly extravagant, but because it’s cheap, and Sans says they have a happy hour and a discount on kid’s meals on Wednesdays, which brings in a lot of customers.

Sans works there as a dishwasher- and, surprisingly, having a job that requires him to be on a schedule has done worlds of good for him, being that it actually keeps him on a schedule, and not napping at all hours of day. And while some of his shifts do run later into the night, Sans is actually on a sleep schedule, which is a definite improvement from his previous policy of just… falling asleep wherever and whenever he pleased.

Papyrus tries to muster a smile. He’s happy for Sans, really. Clearly this job has helped him. And yet, seeing Sans being so productive, being the only source of income they have, having a schedule and talking about his job with their friends- “Ugh, is it still Tuesday? Guess my day off is farther than I thought”- and just being able to HAVE a job, having found one so quickly that it’s not even fair…

It makes Papyrus feel… small.

“That’s alright, brother! I encourage you to get as much rest as you can as of now! You falling asleep in the middle of your dishwashing duties certainly would not help anyone.” Papyrus cracks a smile- a small one, but a smile nonetheless. He isn’t going to nag Sans with his worries- he doesn’t like not feeling one-hundred percent happy for his brother. It feels mean. So he’ll simply push these feelings aside. “Perhaps you could put in word for me? Let them know that Masterchef Papyrus is always willing to dish out chicken tenders and mashed potatoes for the low price of ten dollars!”

“Uh, sure, Paps. I’ll, uh, do that.” Sans nods, and goes into his room, gently closing the door behind him.

Papyrus looks down at his feet. Why can’t things just be the way they used to be? Why do things have to be so hard now? Why-

“It’s my pleasure, darling. Glad to be here.”

Mettaton’s voice startles Papyrus from his spiral of not-so happy thoughts. He looks up at the TV screen, only to be met with the star himself, wearing his trademark dazzling smile.

“So, let’s get right into it,” the blonde lady from before says enthusiastically, “We all know that you’ve taken a quick rise to fame since you’ve come to the surface. What’s that been like?”

“Well,” Mettaton leans back in the white leather arm chair he’s lounging in, “What can I say other than that it’s been amazing? I never could have dreamed of being where i am now, doing what I love- and it’s all thanks to my fans, of course. They’ve been there for me through thick and thin- and I’ll always be there for them, too.”

The woman nods, looking down at a stack of notecards in her hands. “That’s amazing of you to say. What type of relationship would you say that you have with your fans? I know every celebrity has a different approach towards their fan bases- pardon me if this is too intrusive, of course.”

Mettaton laughs lightly, waving his hand in the air. “Oh, nonsense, darling! If there’s one thing I love more than myself, it’s my fans. All I’ve ever wanted is to entertain- and, because of them, I can. I care about my fanbase deeply- I’d do anything for a fan, really- with all the love and support they give me, who wouldn’t? I’m forever grateful for them.”

“That’s so touching! And I’m sure your fans care deeply about you, too- I mean, it’s evident in how supportive they are of you. And such a large fanbase too- I’m sure many of them would love to know, what a dive do you have for anyone who’s trying to be successful like you’ve been? Whether it’s career-wise or just in everyday life, how can someone get to where they want to be, do you think?”

Mettaton smiles. “When I was first starting out, I had to go through a lot of bumps in the road, so to speak. At times, it seemed… hopeless, almost. But I persevered- I told myself that, no matter what, with hard work and the belief in myself that I could do it, I would be able to make my dreams come true. And now, I’m living a life I could have never imagined- one that I’m grateful for everyday, one where I’m finally where I’m supposed to be.”

Papyrus’s breath hitches.

“I believe that anyone has the capability to make their dreams come true. It may be difficult, but that’s what all dreams start out as. You just have to believe in yourself, that you can do it- don’t ever give up on that hope, darlings. Dreams are meant to come true- all you need to do is believe in yourself, and to keep on going. There’s nothing you can’t do if you believe in yourself.” Mettaton sounds so passionate, his eyes practically sparkling- it’s as if he’s talking to Papyrus himself.

The interview continues, Mettaton describing upcoming projects and such, but Papyrus, for once, isn’t passing attention. All he can think about is what Mettaton has just said- believing in yourself, putting in hard work, not stopping even when things get hard.

Papyrus glances at Sans’s door- shut still, Sans no doubt getting the last few hours of sleep that he can before his shift starts. 

The house is quiet.

Mettaton’s right. Papyrus feels a fire burn within him- the good type of fire, not the one that burns Undyne’s house down. If someone as famous and amazing as Mettaton thinks everyone can make their dreams come true, why should Papyrus be excluded from that? Papyrus CAN do it- after all, as Mettaton has literally just said, there’s nothing he can’t do if he can’t believe in himself!

Papyrus makes his way to his room, where he’ll spend hours on end job-hunting on his computer.

As well as maybe, maybe, maybe, thinking about the robot he’s met today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray! Another finished chapter... and we’re only just getting started! So, Papyrus clearly has some issues with surface life... and we’ll delve deeper into those issues! Please comment and kudos if you enjoyed this chapter- it’s fuel! Bye for now!


	3. Over Complicated Coffee Orders, Store Bought Cookies, and Retro Telephones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton does a photoshoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy! Please comment and kudos if you do!

“Beautiful! Stunning! Love it!”

Mettaton flashes a smile at the camera, draping his arm over his head.

It’s the day of his photoshoot- and it could not be going better. It’s a full front cover, as well as a ten page spread- ten page!- all about HIM, in the very popular G&B magazine.

(Mettaton doesn’t know what G&B actually stands for- glitter and bots? Ghosts and Blooky? Gorgeous and beautiful?- only that he’s been hired to look extremely gorgeous on it, which he can totally do. And that plenty of people read it, so they’ll all see how extremely gorgeous he is- like they already haven’t!)

He’s outfitted in a long,elaborate gown adorned with sequins and sparkles- supposedly it’s been flown in from Japan. 

The set he’s shooting on is amazing and totally to die for- plush velvet loveseats, long velvet curtains, a velvet faux-fur rug- it’s a lot of velvet.

While Mettaton mostly sticks to acting, singing, and dancing, he has a knack for modeling, as well- and when you’re this talented, why not do everything you can?

Besides, if you’re famous and you don’t photograph well, your career might as well be over.

Mettaton loves to pose- and today’s been no different. He’s done a variety of poses with everything that’s available on set- he’s posed in perfect lighting in front of a long, almost old-fashionedly regal window. He’s held a glass of wine while draping the rug over his shoulders. He’s stuck his leg up in the air.

There’s not much time left in the shoot- not that Mettaton’s let any of it go to waste. So Mettaton goes for the kill- making his way over to the loveseat, he seductively curls up on it, placing his hand against a pillow delicately. 

“Yes! Keep going!” The photographer yells, craning the camera to get a multitude of different angles. “The camera loves you, MTT!”

“ _ I know _ ,” Mettaton thinks to himself slyly, tilting his face to get another angle.

Next, he offers a sultry grin to the camera- quickly, he glances at a retro telephone placed on a table next to the loveseat- the type with a long cord, and a phone you can pick up off the handle. It’s similar to the kind Mettaton had found once in the dump in the Underground.

Once upon a time, of course.

Mettaton coyly picks up the phone off the handle and curls the cord off the receiver. He kicks his legs up in the air behind him- a classic pose, he knows.

“Perfect! Don’t stop- keep giving us that!”

A few more shots- Mettaton feigns talking on the phone, feigns looking shocked, and, the most stunning one- locks eyes with the camera, giving a compelling smile, a sole finger pressed to his lips, as if he has a secret to tell.

Mettaton won’t deny it- he loves the money he gets from all his work. It’s so much better to be able to buy five faux-fur coats just because you want to, rather than fishing one out of the dumps of Waterfall- his quality of life has really improved.

Of course, the money isn’t the only reason why he does this all- and, yes, he does make sure to donate a good amount of it to causes that need his attention, causes that speak to him (he had tried to donate some towards getting Alphys a wardrobe that didn’t revolve around T-shirts with anime characters on them, but to no avail.) 

This shoot is fun- he loves being able to show off how he looks, the form he can finally feel like himself in. And maybe, with him constantly showing it off, it’ll give others who felt like he had once felt- hopeless and alone- hope that things will change for the better, that dreams come true. (Not that they know that he was once in the same position they were- for all they know, he’s always been a robot, and he intends to keep it that way- everyone has their secrets, right?) So, really, the money isn’t even half of why he does any of this- all he wants is to perform, to entertain, to be a star. Duh! He would do it even if there wasn’t a single dime headed his way.

That being said, he’s going to make this magazine SO much money.

“I think we’ve got it- that’s a wrap, everyone!”

People begin to disperse- Mettaton props himself up against the loveseat and gets up. “That was so much fun- amazing job, darlings!”

Ever since coming to the surface, Mettaton’s learned quite a few things about… well, everything, honestly. But mostly how production in general works- he’d really been the only person producing any sort of content back in the Underground.

One thing, for instance, is that unless he’s one of the people actually producing the project- and he usually is- calling the shots is made a little harder.

The lucky thing, though, is that he’s becoming more and more famous everyday- he’s huge! It’s not as if he’s some plain old model the magazine has a contract with- he’s a star, someone new, someone this shoot was specifically catered to.

And while that means he doesn’t have the total level of control he’d like- which is literally controlling every aspect of any project ever, since he’s clearly the most qualified person to do so, with the best vision- it does mean he has a certain level of authority that most others don’t have. If he describes the magazine as difficult to work with, while he may not get another offer from them, it’ll do more damage for them than him- which means that his input is usually taken into consideration and executed.

Also, he’s known for being a bit of a diva and a perfectionist- in a good way! It’s practically his branding- who doesn’t know this? Besides, there hasn’t been one project that his input hasn’t fixed for the better.

Of course, the fact that he has all this authority doesn’t mean that he’s going to use it as an excuse to be rude to everyone- quite the opposite, in fact. Everyone on set is important- it’s a simple fact. Without every single person contributing to his work- whether it be the photographer, his glam team, or even the person who sets up craft services, the project wouldn’t be done.

Which is why Mettaton has a policy- the MTT Brand Always-Make-Sure-Your-Employees-Know-You-Appreciate-Them Policy.

He’s no snob when it comes to this- it makes him happy to let them know they’re doing a good job. He’s been doing this ever since he made his big debut in the Underground- and he’ll continue doing this today.

“Thank you so much for shooting me today, darling,” Mettaton says, sauntering up to the photographer, “I really feel like we got some great shots in- well, every shot I’m in is great, but regardless of that.”

The photographer grins at him. “No kidding. There wasn’t one piece of film put to waste- good thing this is a spread, ‘cuz I’d hate for half of these shots to not even be seen.”

Mettaton thanks the photographer, blowing them a kiss and waving goodbye, then proceeding to compliment the people doing the lighting -“Really, the light hits my face fabulously from every angle, and without you there wouldn’t be any! (Which isn’t exactly true, since stars make their own light, but it’s a compliment, so).

Everyone who he compliments- and he makes extra sure to compliment EVERYONE- looks flattered or happy in some form, which is exactly what he was going for- he truly does appreciate all of them.

Nothing makes Mettaton feel more fulfilled than to know that he’s making every single person on set feel happy and accomplished, like they’ve done something worth it.

Burgerpants-ew- taps his shoulder- double ew- and beings to speak- triple ew.

“Uh, hey, boss, I just wanted to know where you wanted me to, uh, put the-“

“Oh my god, Burgerpants, why are you talking to me??? Why would you think it’s okay to just come up to me like that??? Like literally leave me alone. I literally don’t want to see you right now, darling. Just go away. It’s like you don't have a brain sometimes, darling, I swear. Just- just go away. I don’t want to talk to you- go, leave me alone, stop ruining my day you are being SO rude right now I SWEAR. Gets life, maybe???” Mettaton groans, on the verge of dramatic tears at having to deal with Burgerpants- ugh.

“But boss... you told me my, uh, job for today was to check in with you and-“

“I will literally pay you to go away. I will pay you actual cash, darling, if you leave me alone. I recommend going somewhere very far away from me- let’s not have a repeat of this incident today.”

“Really?” Burgerpants brightens up at this, looking expectantly at Mettaton.

“Of course I will, beautiful. My day was going perfectly fine until you had to ruin it by, well, being you, I suppose.” Mettaton promptly plops 1G into Burgerpants’s outstretched hand.

“I- This is G.” Burgerpants says, looking down at the coin.

“Yes, and???”

“G isn’t, uh, worth anything up here, boss…”

“And that’s my problem how??? I said I’d pay you, and I did. Now go prance along now, darling- see if you can’t shove some more burgers down your little khakis, now. Maybe invest in a belt of some kind.” Mettaton waves his hand in a shooing motion, leaving Burgerpants to stalk off, muttering something under his breath.

“WHAT WAS THAT, DARLING?”

“Uh, nothing, boss! Sorry, I’ll go… uh, leave you alone!”

Mettaton sighs contentedly. Yes, he really does try to treat every single employee of his with the utmost respect.

Mettaton promptly makes his way to craft services- it’s been a long shoot today, and he knows his energy tank or whatever sort of thing Alphys put in him to regulate his body’s energy is probably low right now. The spread isn’t half bad- while Mettaton normally does his best to eat healthy- not that he needs to, seeing as he’s both a ghost and a robot- the chocolate chip cookies on the table are looking rather tempting.

So, he eats one- and they’re mediocre. Clearly store bought, off of the lack of glitter and pizzaz.

This gives him an idea though- a fabulous one, at that- although when has he ever had an un-fabulous idea?

Mettaton picks up his phone and opens up his texts with Napstablook- their previous text conversation had involved them sending Mettaton a snippet of their newest mixtape, to which Mettaton praised them for- honestly, Blooky really IS the most talented ghost ever, and anyone who says otherwise is clearly some sort of idiot.

Anyways.

Mettaton sends his cousin a simple text, finishing the cookie with his other hand- even if it’s not all that good, it’s not like he’s going to let it go to waste.

*Blooky!!! I’ve just had the most fabulous idea!

His cousin takes a few minutes to respond, the little three-dotted bubble appearing and disappearing- Mettaton frowns. Poor Blooky. They’ve always been so shy- it probably doesn’t help that he’d left them behind for a few years, only to come back as some glamorous television star.

Mettaton shakes his head- by now he’s in one of the dressing rooms, wrapped in a white plush robe, his glam team preparing to do his hair and makeup again, only this time it’s not for a photoshoot- now it’s just for the rest of his day.

He doesn’t want to think about having left Blooky behind- it’s not something he prefers to dwell on. They’re on the surface now, and they’re finally reunited and performing together like they were always meant to. There’s no point in dwelling on the past now- it’s behind them for a reason. It’s behind everyone.

Mettaton’s phone lights up, prompting Mettaton to immediately look at it- sure enough, Blooky’s replied. Yes, Blooky! Overcome that nitty-gritty anxiety! What could Blooky have said? Mettaton’s on the edge of his seat- while his cousin never outright ignores him- they would never, they’re too much of a sweetheart- it usually takes them about an hour of typing and backspacing before they summon up the courage to respond. So the fact that the response came so quickly must mean that Blooky has something extremely riveting to tell him- right?

*.........oh…….what is it……..?

*sorry if I’m asking too many questions…… I don’t want to be a bother……..

A perfectly fabulous response!!!

Mettaton begins to type, having to hold the phone at an angle where he doesn’t need to tilt his head down, since his hairstylist is already beginning to spray something into his black locks.

*You’re never a bother, Blooky! I’m sooooo glad you asked BECAUSE….!

*I think we should make cookies!

*Doesn’t that sound absolutely perfect?

Mettaton waits for his cousin's next response as one of his makeup artists dusts one of his MTT Brand Beauty products on his face.

*oh……. that sounds fun…..

*when do you want to make them…….?

*.....sorry if I’m being pushy…..

*Blooky, I’ll never think that you’re pushy.

*We can make them after our next studio session! Maybe Shyren would like to help as well.

*Does that sound good to you?

Blooky confirms that this date does, in fact, work for them- Mettaton grins and sends him a page-long paragraph consisting solely of only the most glamourous emojis.

Immediately, Mettaton’s mood has gone from good to great- he’s done amazingly in his photoshoot, and now he’s going to make cookies with his cousin in a few days. 

His glam team has finished- Mettaton stands up, dramatically drops his robe to the floor, takes a container of glitter that he specifically requested to be in his dressing room, and dumps it over his body, per routine.

Life truly is perfect.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Life truly is NOT perfect.

Mettaton isn’t a huge coffee addict- he never has been, and probably never will be. However, Mettaton does have a specific drink order that he’ll drink at a certain time everyday- now is that time.

So why is his hand empty, void of some sort of coffee cup?

Currently, he’s about to enter his pink limousine, parked in the VIP parking lot of the set- his chauffeur waits for him to enter, holding the door open expectantly. 

Mettaton can’t help it- he groans in annoyance. It’s not as if he NEEDS the coffee right this instant, but it would certainly be nice to have it.

“Is something wrong, sir?” The chauffeur asks timidly, giving Mettaton a tentative glance.

“Oh, everything’s fine- I just could really go for some coffee right now. Ugh, shouldn’t I have a PA to do this sort of thing for me?” Mettaton sighs in frustration, running a hand through his gorgeously silky hair.

“You don’t have a PA? I thought that cat monster was your personal assistant, seeing as he follows you everywhere.” The chauffeur asks curiously, gesturing to Burgerpants, who’s currently struggling to carry all of Mettaton’s belongings.

“Well, I’m technically supposed to have two personal assistants- one of them is very hardworking and dedicated, doing all the work I don’t have time to do- they’re my official PA.” Mettaton responds, tapping his chin in thought.

(Burgerpants brightens at this comment, straightening a little in pride.)

“-and then the other one is Burgerpants. He’s more of an unofficial-because-he-can’t-go-two-minutes-without-messing-something-up PA. Honestly, he’s not even really a PA- more like some disgruntled, useless roadie.” Mettaton chuckles- the thought of Burgerpants actually being his official PA is an amusing one, that’s for sure. What would he do, drop his cigarettes into his coffee? No way, no day.

(At this comment, Burgerpants slouches once more, muttering something under his breath about how his whole nineteen years of life have been for naught.)

“I was supposed to meet the official one yesterday, but she never showed up. I suppose I’ll have to hire another applicant- which is just great, of course,” Mettaton rolls his eyes and finally begins to get into the limo, tossing his faux-fur coat at Burgerpants and snapping his fingers. 

“Come on, darling! A little hussle never hurt anyone, now did it?”

Before Burgerpants can make another snide remark under his breath- and before Mettaton can promptly play his Burgerpants Playlist, featuring songs such as, “You’re So Bad At Your Job That It Brings A Glamorous Tear To My Eye”, loud footsteps being to echo across the parking lot.

“Wait, Mettaton, wait!”

Mettaton turns around, only to be faced with a slightly frazzled looking girl, who’s currently trying to catch her breath. 

“Damn… I really, uh, I…” she huffs, a hand placed to her chest, doubled over.

Okay, Mettaton’s had enough- normally he has more patience, but considering the fact that he’s had zero coffee and mediocre store-brand cookies, this interaction has gone on for way too long already.

“Is there something you need, darling?” Mettaton asks, placing his hands on his hips, “I’m very busy, you know? I have things to do.”

“I- here.” The girl stretches her hand out- in it is a cup of coffee.

“This is your order, right? A Double-Triple Quadruple Sextuplet Peppermint Chocolate Vanilla Raspberry Single with Skim Milk and Three Pumps of Caramel With No Skim Milk or Whipped Cream, and Three Grams of White Sugar, Four Grams of Brown Sugar, Ten Grams of Glitter, With A Shot of Motor Oil and No Sugar, Plus 24 Karat Gold Shavings Latte Mocha Espresso Frappuccino With Extra Whipped Cream and Extra… Fabulousness?” The girl recites, handing him the drink.

Mettaton narrows his eyes, and glances at the drink- yep, that’s A Double-Triple Quadruple Sextuplet Peppermint Chocolate Vanilla Raspberry Single with Skim Milk and Three Pumps of Caramel With No Skim Milk or Whipped Cream, and Three Grams of White Sugar, Four Grams of Brown Sugar, Ten Grams of Glitter, With A Shot of Motor Oil and No Sugar, Plus 24 Karat Gold Shavings Latte Mocha Espresso Frappuccino With Extra Whipped Cream and Extra Fabulousness for sure.

“Who exactly are you, beautiful?”

The girl straightens herself out. “I’m, uh, your new PA. June- I’m sure you received my resume, right?”

“That I did, darling- however, I was supposed to meet you yesterday- you never showed.” Mettaton says, tapping his fingernails lightly against the coffee cup, “Tardiness isn’t something I tolerate, darling- not in one of my workers. And to not even meet me on the day you were supposed to- well, that’s for sure a first impression I won’t forget. It makes me question even giving you this job.”

June looks as if she’s about to cry- she looks to be in about her twenties or thirties- guessing by her clothes, she doesn’t exactly have much to be said for fashion-wise- another minus. Disheveled, late- Mettaton doesn’t need another Burgerpants on his hands.

“I-I’m really sorry, sir- I just, I really was there yesterday, and I honestly couldn’t find you- this is my first time, uh, doing this sort of job and I-“

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Excuses, excuses, darling. Another thing I won’t tolerate. Tell me, beautiful- do you even want this job? I mean, I can understand a slip-up or two- things go topsy-turvy all the time. But a slip-up before you’ve even started your job? That doesn’t speak well for you, now does it?” Mettaton tuts, shaking his head.

“I-“ June’s eyes fill up with tears, and Mettaton immediately softens, just the eensiest bit. He hadn’t meant to be that harsh- not enough to make her cry.

“I’m sorry, sir, I just- I really need this job. My fiancé and I- we don’t have enough money to afford rent this month, and we’re supposed to be planning our wedding, but everything we have is going towards keeping the lights on, and-“

Suddenly, Mettaton is taken back to his days on the family farm- constantly worrying about how the business was failing, having to scrimp and save to be able to afford everyday necessities.

“That’s quite enough, darling, thank you.” Mettaton holds a hand up, silencing her, “I understand what it’s like to be in that sort of situation- well, not quite to your extent, but still. I won’t take this job anyway from you- but this can’t happen again. My schedule is very hectic, and you’re the one who’s supposed to keep it in order- understand, dear?”

June nods. “Understood, sir. That won’t happen again- um, if I’ve got your schedule right, it says that you’re supposed to have a meeting in about forty minutes to discuss one of your film projects?”

“Totally correct, darling! See, Burgerpants? This is what you’re SUPPOSED to be like- you know, not a complete and total mess?” Mettaton sends a glare to Burgerpants, who looks like he’d literally rather be anywhere else.

“Alright, darlings! Let’s get going- we’ve already wasted enough time in this godforsaken parking lot.” Mettaton claps his hands together, looking at everyone expectantly.

“Robots can’t even catch colds.” Burgerpants mutters- Mettaton chooses to just let this comment go, because if he has to deal with Burgerpants one more time today, he might actually lose it.

“One more thing, darling.” Mettaton says, facing June again.

“Yes, sir?” June looks up at him, seeming a bit startled.

“You haven’t dropped any cigarettes in my coffee per chance, have you?”

“Um… no? Was I supposed to? Because I don’t smoke, so…” June trails off, giving him a slightly confused look.

“Don’t worry, darling, you weren’t. And since you haven’t, I think we’re going to get along just fine.” Mettaton climbs into the limousine- finally!- and gives Burgerpants one last glare as he loads Mettaton’s things in the trunk.

“I didn’t even do anything!” Burgerpants groans, but Mettaton isn’t even paying attention to him right now- as if he’s going to give him the time of day. Instead, he settles for reading the texts his personal manager has sent him- it honestly does feel weird having a manager, but it’s not as if he actually works for them- they just present him with the millions of offers piling up at his door, and besides, they’re on his dime.

Mettaton looks around him- now that the car’s starters, Burgerpants is seated in it, looking exhausted- for once in his life, probably- and June is tapping away at her phone, most likely going over his schedule, as any good PA should be doing at all times. 

Now that he has an actual PA- of course Burgerpants doesn’t count, with him sneaking off to smoke or sleep at every given interval- it feels as if everything is even more official, somehow. Like he’s even more of a true star- not that he wasn’t before, but this really does cement it. Having someone to cater to his every whim and handle people for him as opposed to doing it all himself in the Underground- it’s unreal, and yet so real, all at the same time.

The sun is setting already, golden light flooding the limo- the sun still remains bright, even when it’s taking a break for the day.

Mettaton smiles.

Unlike the sun, he doesn’t need a break- he’ll shine always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! Here’s another update for y’all- I hope you liked it! Please comment and kudos if you did.
> 
> I know I had MTT be a little mean to poor BP in this chapter- don’t worry, I feel bad for him too. Maybe he’ll catch a break soon!... but probably not. It’s all in jest, though, so don’t worry!
> 
> Sorry that there was no Papyrus in this chapter- I know, how awful! Don’t worry, though, he’s going to appear in the next chapter- alongside MTT, too. Yay!
> 
> I know there wasn’t much going on plot-wise in this chapter, but it’s still pretty early on in this fic- and don’t worry (sentence of the day, apparently) because once we do get to the juicy parts of this fic- drama, gasp!- it’ll be super fun for both me and you.
> 
> Also, a mild appearance from Blooky! They’re going to appear a lot more in this fic, so don’t worry (for the hundredth time!!!) you’ll get your Napstablook fill.
> 
> Please comment and kudos if you enjoyed! It makes me want to write a ton more! :0


	4. Iced Coffee, Huge Scones, and Ruined Notebooks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus works out with Undyne, and Mettaton gets iced coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! If you like this chapter, please comment and kudos! Enjoy!

Life in Snowdin is truly an enhanced quality of life, Papyrus thinks.

It might be the best place to live in the Underground- the Ruins have been closed for ages, Waterfall is very dim and, well, water-y, and Hotland is Hotland.

There’s no redeeming that.

Of course, there’s always the Capital, but it lacks all the charms of Snowdin- for one, where else would you be able to make anatomically correct snow-skeletons?

Not to mention that there’s plenty of room for possible puzzles- while Papyrus hasn’t exactly been able to construct any, due to other obligations- high school, making sure Sans doesn’t solely sustain himself on greasy garbage- Papyrus often maps out potential puzzle plans in the spare pages of his notebooks- one day!

As of now, Papyrus has a very packed schedule- school has just ended, which means that it’s time to do what every monster teenager loves to do!

Homework!

Well, maybe not every teenager enjoys doing homework- just as his last period of the day had ended, Papyrus had seen Jerry dump the homework assignment that had been handed out into the garbage, and then proceed to dump his entire backpack in as well.

Papyrus doesn’t see homework as a chore, though- he tries to picture it as some sort of puzzle. Maybe not a fun one with flames and tiles and japes, but a puzzle nonetheless. And, while admittedly most of his homework assignments aren’t exactly easy or entertaining, Papyrus takes pride in completing them- after all, being a good student is something to strive for!

Today, his homework consists of doing the next few chapters of the reading- which Papyrus has already finished! Because! Punctuality! Is important!- and studying for an upcoming test on the composition of monster souls.

Having finally arrived at home after leaving school, Papyrus fiddles with the front pocket of his backpack- a very cool one, due to the fact that he scribbled “ COOL” on it with permanent marker, just so people would know how cool his backpack was- trying to take his house key out of the pocket on the front.

His gloved- mitten-ed?- hands scramble around the inside of the pocket- stray pages of horoscopes which he has yet to solve, erasers, spare bones- there they are! His house key!

Just as Papyrus manages to wrangle it out of the pocket, many things happen at once.

Those many things being a soft thump on the ground, and his backpack falling off of his shoulder, textbooks and supplies astray on the snowy floor beneath him.

“No, no, no!” Papyrus frets, and kneels down, scrambling to pick up his things. Had his backpack been unzipped this whole time? He doesn’t think it has- he’s very careful about that sort of thing. It might have been one of his classmates attempting to prank him again- pranks that aren’t harmless like Sans’s are.

Maybe they don’t understand the difference between harmless and harmful jokes?

For a moment, everything is fine- he’s managed to get everything back into his bag, just as before.

Until he notices his red spiral notebook lying face down, pages pressed against the wet, slippery snow.

The very notebook that has his notes for the test on souls.

Immediately, Papyrus swoops down and picks it up- his face falls as he sees the damage the snow has done to his notes. Filled with dismay, Papyrus flips through every page- the pages that aren’t falling to mush in his hands have dregs of ink dripping down them, unrecognizable, and most certainly unreadable.

“I don’t… I…” Papyrus mutters to himself helplessly- how can he study for his test now? It’s tomorrow, his first period of the day, and these were the only notes he’d taken- not to mention that science is very much something Papyrus has struggled with! He’s never been the type to easily grasp all the concepts science entails, despite his best efforts to- the person who really knows about science is-

“You alright, bro?” 

Papyrus looks up from his notebook to see Sans standing in front of him, a concerned look gracing his face.

“Something happen at school? You just got out, right?”

“I- aren’t you supposed to be working?” Papyrus asks, despite himself. Sans, having dropped out of school in his own late years of schooling- Papyrus can’t exactly remember if it was high school or college, only that he must have still been in middle school- has what he likes to refer to as a “part-part-part-part time job.”

And by that, he means that he illegally sells hotdogs in parts of Snowdin, Waterfall, Hotland, and New Home exclusively. 

“Boss said I could take the rest of the day off, so here I am.” Sans says with his trademark lazy grin and even lazier shoulder shrug (he doesn’t even bother to raise his shoulders! He just twitches them!)

“You don’t have a boss, Sans! And if you did, I’m sure they would be very disappointed to find you depriving people of illegal hotdogs, made illegal by their illegal hotdog stands!” Papyrus scolds, crossing his arms- how does his brother manage to take so many breaks and still sell so many hotdogs???

“Welp. Guess it’s a big ‘boss’ for them, huh? So… you gonna tell me what’s wrong, or…?”

Papyrus doesn’t even have time to react to the awful pun Sans has just told- immediately, he finds himself in a state of distress again, having temporarily forgotten that the entirety of his notes had been ruined.

Papyrus explains the situation to his brother, barely able to keep himself from… well, he doesn’t know what. Right now he feels like he might cry- the bad kind of crying, not the kind where you cry out of the sheer joy of finding a puzzle so perfectly challenging that it’s like a match made in heaven.

“-and now it’s all ruined, Sans! The snow completely destroyed all of my notes, and, and, the ink is all smeared so I can’t even read or understand what I wrote- the test is TOMORROW, Sans! And now I have no way to study!” Papyrus exclaims, showing Sans the sad remains of his notes.

“Yikes, you’re right. That’s, uh, pretty ruined. You don’t have anyone you could borrow notes from?” Sans asks, eyeing the mess of a notebook that Papyrus holds in his hands.

Papyrus doesn’t even need a moment to think of the answer to that question. Sure, he could easily ask any of his classmates to lend their notes to him- but it’s not as easy as that. For some reason, some of his classmates are a bit… apprehensive to interact with him. Papyrus is a fan of making friends- who wouldn’t be? And yet, it seems as if no one is willing to do this with him.

Papyrus knows the reason for this- they’re probably just intimidated by him! It’s easy to understand why his classmates would be shy around such a Cool Dude like him- his backpack even SAYS cool on it! Who wouldn’t be intimidated?

“I don’t, Sans- besides, they all most likely need to use their notes to study, too! I don’t want to make them fail the test- their grades are important too!” Papyrus sighs, “I just don’t know what to do, though… I know I’m not very good at science, but in all my years of schooling, I’ve never not studied for a test…”

“Yeah. You even studied coloring inside the lines when you were a babybones- which you totally passed with flying colors.” Sans remarks- Papyrus manages a small nonexistent-eye eyeroll at that.

For a moment, the two siblings stand there in silence- all that’s going through Papyrus’s mind is how now he’s bound to fail this test- he could always go to the Librarby and see if they have any books on the nature of souls, except he’d heard a group of monsters talking on how they’d checked out the majority of books on the subject, for an intense study session.

“Well,” Sans speaks up, causing Papyrus to startle, “it’s snow big deal, bro. The test is on souls, right? I can teach you whatever you need to know about that- no need to flake out about it.”

“Really? You would forsake your duties of giving people greasy balls of questionable meat just to teach me?” Papyrus asks- he’s touched! Sans has never offered to help him with his schoolwork before- not that he ever had asked for help, but still. 

Even despite Sans’s incessant laziness, Sans is still his big brother.

“For sure, bro. Now, you said that it’s on the composition of souls, right?” Sans asks, casually opening the front door- which was supposed to be locked, but either Sans forgot to lock it, or he’s bending the rules of time and space AGAIN just to open it.

“Yes! Monster souls, specifically.” Papyrus adds- he doesn’t know if this is Sans’s area of expertise, but then again, Sans never fails to somehow know things that he??? Never expressed an interest in knowing before???

“Easy,” Sans makes his way to the fridge, taking out a bottle of ketchup, “So, uh, monster souls are made of three things: love, hope, and compassion.”

Papyrus nods vigorously- it’s all coming back to him now, the lessons he’s learnt on this subject. As Sans goes on about the composition and nature of souls- he looks a little passionate, in fact!- Papyrus finds himself daydreaming.

He’s still listening, of course! He would never want to waste his brother’s time, especially when he’s using it to help him. But those three things- love, hope, and compassion… Papyrus feels all of them constantly. He feels them when he thinks of his future, and what it might entail.

Graduating high school, getting a job that he’ll love- one that will surely bring him many friends, one that will completely take away the, er, lonely feelings he gets when no one wants to eat lunch with him, when everyone goes to their friends houses but him.

A job that will help him support Sans. A job that will fill him with what he’s always wanted to feel for so long- belonging, a sense of knowing what you’re meant for, knowing that you’re part of something that is amazing and splendiferous, knowing that you have many people behind you, being a part of something so great that it, in turn, makes you great!

Papyrus shakes his head- he needs to pay attention! The exam is tomorrow!

And, yet, in the back of his mind, he can’t help but feel giddy- that future is coming soon for him.

And when it’s arrived, Papyrus knows it’ll be nothing short of great!

***

Buzz. Buzz.

Something is buzzing.

Clearly.

The predicament is, that it's hard to know what.

Papyrus doesn’t even know what’s going on at the moment- his eye sockets have just fluttered open, only to be met with the keys of a keyboard- the keyboard of his laptop, specifically.

Papyrus lifts his head up- his skull feels ever so slightly tense, like he’s just accidentally bumped it against the wall, and the pain has, for the most part, subsided.

The buzzing, however, is still continuing- by now, Papyrus has determined two things.

He’s fallen asleep at his desk, judging by the fact that he’d woken up with his face pressed against the keyboard, and that his keyboard is attached to his laptop, and that his laptop is on his desk, and that... well, he could go on!

It takes Papyrus a minute to recall why he’s even sleeping on his laptop in the first place, rather than his bed. And then it all comes rushing back to him- he’d spend his entire night yesterday job hunting, but to no avail. All of the jobs he’d wanted- mostly ones having to do with cooking in some way- required different levels and areas of expertise- ones that Papyrus just could not provide.

Not that this means his skills aren’t up to par! His pasta-making skills are as great as his pasta is- which is probably why only Sans will eat it- everyone else is too intimidated!

(For a brief second, Papyrus is reminded of a memory he hadn't forgotten, yet hadn’t remembered in some time- notebook to the snow, no one to turn to but his brother, his friend count being someone nonexistent because everyone was probably just too shy. Probably. Either way, he feels a strange sense of deja vu.)

Anyway.

His search had ultimately led to nowhere- again. But he won’t give up! Papyrus is determined to persevere- after all, in his idol’s words, anyone can make their dreams come true with hard work and the belief that they can do it!

(High school- all the hopes he’d had! The dreams he’d festered deep within his bones- where had he pictured himself at that age, years into the future? Someone with tons of friends, no doubt, not to mention a job- somehow, it feels very… not good, that the most productive thing he’s done since he’s gotten to the surface is look for productive things to do.)

Oh, right! There had been a second thing Papyrus had noticed upon waking up. Now if only he could remember…

That’s it!

His desk is vibrating. 

It’s vibrating quite intensely, in fact- could that annoying dog have snuck in again and somehow… made his desk vibrate and buzz like an excited bee?

Probably. That meddling canine knows no bounds!

However, along with the buzzing, there seems to be a faint melodic sound drifting through the air… it better not be Sans plaguing his life with incidental music again!

It takes Papyrus approximately three seconds to locate the source of the buzzing and music- he does this by simply turning his head!

Wow! How convenient! Maybe more people could solve their problems if they simply turned their heads!

The source of all this ruckus is, in fact, his cell phone! The very one he received many calls from Frisk on in the Underground, in fact. Although the person who is calling him now isn’t Frisk- it's Undyne!

His screen is lit up with a picture of Undyne- she’s noogieing him in the picture, flashing one of her signature toothy grins to the camera.

Quickly, Papyrus answers the call- who knows how long he’s kept her waiting!

“HEYA, PUNK!!! I THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER PICK UP!!!”

Papyrus winces, both at the volume of her voice and her words- apparently it’s been long.

“Sorry, Undyne! I was simply taking a nice non-all-night resting period, as I normally do.” Papyrus says- he decides not to tell Undyne about the fact that this resting period took place on his laptop- for some reason, when he thinks of telling Undyne about yet another one of his failed attempts at even getting a job interview, he feels very… un-great.

“Yeah??? That’s good! You have to get the full eight hours, though! GOOD SLEEP SCHEDULES ARE IMPORTANT!” Undyne responds with her usual… er, energetic-ness?

“Anyways,” she continues, now sounding slightly more calm, “I’m almost at your house. You ready? We’re gonna get SO ripped!”

What? Papyrus is now even more confused than he was when he woke up. Why is Undyne almost at his house? While she is the type to drop in spontaneously, she’ll usually just do so without any prior warning- unlike now!

“Wowie! You’re five minutes away! That’s… great! I think. But just in case anyone that isn’t me who happens to be listening in on this phone call doesn’t remember… could you remind me why you’re almost at my house at six in the morning??? Maybe???” Papyrus asks- while he always loves to hang out with one of his best friends- he has to take into account Frisk and Flowery, wherever he may be, too!- he needs to know exactly what he’s getting himself into.

After all, hangouts with Undyne can very quickly turn very explosion-y and oh-no-tell-me-you-brought-a-fire-extinguisher-because-my-house-is-on-fire-now-y.

“Firstly, it’s not six in the morning, it’s ten A.M- is today not a good day for you? It’s fine if it isn’t, dude. I don’t wanna push you to work out or anything, if you’re not feeling one hundred! KNOWING YOUR LIMITS IS IMPORTANT, TOO!” Undyne exclaims, and it all comes rushing back to Papyrus.

Again.

He was supposed to work out with Undyne today! In the Underground, this had been a regular thing- a routine, really. Every Sunday- Sans would mysteriously be gone those days, which gave Papyrus a little bit of free time since he didn’t have to drag Sans out of bed to eat breakfast- he and Undyne would train, doing everything from jogging from Snowdin to Waterfall (usually, they would just take the Riverperson’s boat to New Home, since neither of them wanted to traverse the awfulness that was Hotland) from supplexing large boulders while screaming motivational phrases (Undyne would usually scream quotes from anime that were in Japanese- Papyrus would usually get out a word or two about not giving up before promptly having to put down the boulder, due to it being far too heavy.)

Now, though, their entire workout routine has changed completely. For one thing, they aren’t exactly training anymore- there’s no royal guard, so??? It’s a little pointless to call it training??? He and Undyne had agreed to make their surface workouts all about maintaining top physical health, instead- which is something Papyrus is definitely glad to do!

The workouts don’t, however, take place on Sundays anymore. Now they shift in their regularity- like everyone else, it seems, Undyne has a job to commit to, meaning she can only work out on her days off.

This would be inconvenient for Papyrus, except for the tiny fact that he doesn’t have a job schedule to adhere to! So, his schedule is essentially always and constantly malleable. Like clay. Which! Is one perk! Of not being employed.

They also can’t supplex boulders anymore- a secret relief for Papyrus- or use their magic- not such a relief. What is he supposed to do with all of his bone attacks now???

(Thinking of their old training sessions, Papyrus feels a twinge of something- he misses their old routine, the old things they used to do. They gave him a sense of purpose, in a way, and it was just plain fun to pick up cinnabunnies after a nice job through three-fifths of the Underground.)

Also.

“It’s ten A.M?!” Papyrus shouts, bolting upright, “That can’t be! It completely messes up my entire schedule for the day! I usually wake up at four!!! Now my entire day is completely… well, it’s completely wrong!”

“Paps! It’s totally fine! It’s just!! Waking up at a more normal time!!! Even I don’t get up at four just to work out. Besides, do you have anything else to do? I mean, if you do, I’m totally fine rescheduling! Just let me know now, since I’m about to get here.” 

Somehow, Undyne’s words sting a little, although Papyrus knows she didn’t mean for them to! It was an honest question- does he have anything else to do? Papyrus hasn’t let not currently having a job get him down- he still has a very rigorous and packed schedule!

He gets up every morning at four- which didn’t exactly happen today, but still!- and makes himself and Sans breakfast spaghetti. Then he proceeds to clean the entire house, not missing a single iota of dust. He’ll go grocery shopping, check the mail, take walks around the neighborhood, drive around town, peruse the local newspapers in search of any potential job openings, solve all the puzzles there are in said newspaper, watch some of Mettaton’s new shows...

Papyrus thinks for a moment. By the time he does all that, it’s usually about one in the afternoon. Would all of these things collapse into different states of disarray if he didn’t do them immediately? He’s already woken up late- besides, he made a commitment to Undyne! Surely that’s more important than… dusting and reading the newspaper.

“No, I don’t have anything to do,” Papyrus replies, “feel free to stop by!”

***

“-and she threw up! We had to call an ambulance, but other than that my first solo class totally ROCKED!” 

“Wowie! That sure sounds very rewarding! And also gross and uncleanly!” Papyrus pants- if he had sweat glands, he would be wiping the non-existent sweat from his non-existent brows!

For the past hour or so, he and Undyne have been jogging around town- today, they’re taking a new path, rather than just running around one of their neighborhoods.

“It totally was! The room stunk like puke for hours- felt bad for the guy who had to mop it, though. I actually ended up, uh, staying a few hours past my shift just to help him clean it all.” Undyne rubs the back of her neck sheepishly, “Maybe I should’ve gone a little easier on them- but how was I supposed to know bringing in sacks of rocks for them to supplex was too extreme?! It was my safer alternative to the boulders!!!”

“Maybe… no rocks??? Next time you teach a class??? Even if it’s very boring that way.” Papyrus suggests, doing his best to jog faster without exerting all of his energy- he’s not on his usual time today.

While they don’t always jog- sometimes they lift weights, or do three hours straight of pushups and sit-ups- over their past few workout hangouts- two outs!- Papyrus has developed a pace and time when it comes to jogging- yet today he hasn’t exactly adhered to it. He feels sluggish- his eyes are all droopy, and he’s constantly trying to muffle the sounds of his yawns. It makes sense- after all, now his whole sleep schedule is ruined!

However, Papyrus has to persevere- he can’t let himself slip, especially not when he slipped sleeping-wise!

“Ugh, you’re probably right- even though not supplexing rocks is for TOTAL WIMPS!!!- I get what you’re saying,” Undyne groans, wiping the actual sweat from her actual brows, and comes at a stop, “Give me a sec- need to take a quick drink of water- HYDRATION IS IMPORTANT!!!”

Papyrus simply nods, and watches Undyne take a long swig from her water bottle, the sun beating down on both of them. It’s an unusually hot day, made clear by the fact that this is the fifth consecutive water break Undyne has taken- and while she always makes sure to take them, the heat can’t be helping.

Besides, Papyrus read once that aquatic-based monsters have to hydrate twice as much as other monsters, just to keep their scales from drying! It sounds a bit tedious- boy, is Papyrus thankful he doesn’t have scales! It’s a great day to not be a scaley!!!

“Here, drink some too,” Undyne passes him the water bottle, “You need to stay hydrated too, punk!!! Anyways. Other than all that, the class went pretty damn well! I mean, it probably would’ve been WORSE if someone hadn’t puked- that would've meant that I was going TOO EASY on them!”

Papyrus just nods, taking a sip of Undyne’s water. She seems so happy in this moment- and Papyrus is very happy for her! Lately, she’s been smiling even wider than usual, which he never would have thought possible, but apparently it, uh, is???

Getting a job teaching workout and self-defense classes at the local gym must really make your smile grow wider, Papyrus supposes. These days, it’s practically all she talks about- how she loves helping people become even healthier, and more badass- her words, not hiss- by beating up all the bad assholes in the world!

In a way that doesn’t do fatal harm, of course.

Right now, Undyne’s talking about her plans for her lessons next week- now that she’s finally finished the training she’d needed to do to become certified to teach at all, the fact that she gets to teach solo classes means that she needs to constantly be planning out what her classes will entail- it’s something that’s kept her extremely busy over the past few weeks. 

(Papyrus can’t help but feel a sort of un-greatness again- his days are usual over before they even begin, due to the sheer lack of things he can accomplish in one day, not working and to really having many other people to talk to since the people he DOES talk to are usually, well, working- he really is happy for Undyne, but a slight bitterness creeps in everytime she mentions her new job- it really must be nice to have something to do all day, something to give someone purpose. Not that he doesn’t have a purpose- he knows what his purpose is! He just needs to… work a little harder to get there!)

Wordlessly, Papyrus hands Undyne back her water bottle, not wanting to interrupt her. 

“- and that’s basically what I have planned for next week. It’ll be less tough on them, but still TOTALLY WORTH IT!!! Ready to keep going? I know this GREAT coffee place that has the HUGEST scones down this hill! We can hit it up when we pass by!” Undyne enthuses, now jogging in place- Papyrus is about to respond, when Undyne eyes her phone.

“-uh, actually, maybe we’re gonna have to take a rain check on the scones. I need to be at the gym in, like twenty minutes. Sorry.” Undyne glances up at Papyrus, who’s trying to conceal his disappointment- secretly, he’d been hoping to make this jog last even longer, just to give him a bit more to do today. Besides, hanging out with friends is the best way to spend any day, and now it seems that their hang-outing will have to be cut short.

“Never fear, Undyne! For the Great Papyrus has many other obligations to fulfill as well! We can always observe the giganticness of these scones next time we meet up!” Papyrus gives Undyne a reassuring smile- and yet, as he’s running through his mental checklist of obligations that he has to fulfill for the day- cleaning, grocery shopping, job hunting- he realizes, once again, that all these things probably won;t take him that long to do at all.

“I knew you’d understand, Paps! You’re the best! See ya!” Undyne gives him a friendly punch on the shoulder and runs off in the opposite direction, leaving papyrus to stand on the sunny sidewalk by himself.

Well, he should probably head home so he can take a shower- not that there’s much sweat at all to be washed off. Still, though, the thought of going home so early into the day is a little… not what he wants to do right now. 

Papyrus pauses. He technically hasn’t had breakfast yet, which is for sure the most important meal of the day! And those gigantic scones do sound very scrumptious! Maybe he’ll be able to find a job opening there, too! After all, while it may not be a place that serves pasta, coffee places still involve culinary talents, right?

Papyrus jogs down the hill, the sun in his nonexistent eyes- who knows what will await him?!

***

*Ugh I’m so annoyed right now Alphys you don’t even KNOW.

Mettaton rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his iced coffee, standing outside the coffee shop he’d just gotten the aforementioned coffee from.

Today has been nothing short of fabulous, if you ignore the fact that Burgerpants is a complete incompetent idiot who can’t seem to do anything without being told to do it in explicit detail a million times.

It takes Alphys a few minutes to text back.

*oh no!   
*what’s wrong?  
*don’t tell me your body is malfunctioning again bc if so u should head ovr here rn 0-0

Mettaton can’t help but roll his eyes- not at the ridiculous little emojis Alphys is so fond of sending- they’re endearing, in a way- but at the fact that his phone screen just can’t seem to compete with the light of the sun.

Mettaton squints and holds his hand over his eyes to better read her texts- today’s an unusually hot day- hence his amazingly chic crop top and shorts, which are very much designer- and the sun, while the brightest spotlight of all, is a little too bright for his liking today.

*Don’t worry darling, it’s not.  
*What it IS, however, is Burgerpants.  
*AGAIN.  
*He’s so annoying darling I SWEAR

*what happened now

Mettaton proceeds to lapse into a detailed summary of how his entire morning had been going so far.

Form the moment he’d woken up, he’d gotten ready to attend a meeting on yet another one of his new shows, one that would start filming very soon. He’d been sure to do his skincare routine before he’d left the house- fifteen different types of MTT Brand Robotic Face Cleanser, lime juice, a mixture of rose scented perfume and glitter, a cup of motor oil, a few swabs of MTT Brand Sequin Scrub, a hundred types of-

*mtt i really don’t think u need to describe your whole skincare routine to me  
*i mean I’ve seen it and its  
*a LOT *_*

*Just know that this story has now lost at least half of its flavor thanks to you.  
*Anyways.

He’d then proceed to attend said meetings- they’d all gone FABULOUSLY!- and, as a treat to himself, had decided to get some coffee once more.

*okay???   
*were they out of coffee or smth (-_-)

*I’m getting to it darling!  
*Have you ever heard of dramatic BUILDUP???  
*Which you’ll very much have but won’t know how to prevent thanks to you not wanting to hear the rest of my skincare routine

*OMG JUST FINISH YOUR STORY @_@

*Weeb

Anyways.

Of course, being as famous as he is, Mettaton has a tightly packed schedule- hence him having a PA. A PA that would no doubt be able to get him the coffee that he wanted, seeing as that's their job. A PA that was hired for this very reason.

So, he’d decided to call Burgerpants to get the coffee for him.

It SHOULD have been simple, but apparently Burgerpants- socially inept Burgerpants, the very same guy who’d had his pants fall down because he was smuggling Glamburgers, Burgerpants- had BETTER things to do than his job, seeing as he never answered any of Mettaton’s twenty five calls or texts, all demanding he get him coffee.

So, he’d been forced to get it himself, in the dreadful heat.

*And they didn’t even have any glitter to put it in it!  
*So now my entire day is ruined.  
*This is ALL his fault.

*uh  
*didn’t you just hire an actual official PA??? To do this sort of thing???

Mettaton blanches.

Okay, so maybe he’d forgotten that June even existed. And maybe he should’ve just called her in the first place instead of relentlessly spamming Burgerpants’s phone and thinking of new song ideas to add to his motivational CD.

But, in his defense, why hadn’t Burgerpants answered his phone in the first place? He’s still very much an employee of his- he’s probably off somewhere smoking, no doubt, complaining about how HARD his job is and how AWFUL Mettaton is to him.

Say that to Burgerpants’s paycheck.

(Which isn’t extraordinarily big or anything, but it’s not as if working for him doesn’t pay well, either!)

Mettaton sighs. He’ll have to get used to not using Burgerpants to cater to his every whim- June DOES have a job to do. 

And, yes, maybe he does make Burgerpants do increasingly ridiculous things- Mettaton snorts, remembering the time he’d made Burgerpants order five large pizzas made solely with glitter and sequins on the phone- but, in his defense, Burgerpants really could stand to be a better employee and not drop cigarettes in burgers.

It’s almost time for him to be going to his next meeting. Honestly, it’s fairly empty today in this part of town- it is a workday, but Mettaton expected for there to be more people mulling around, as there always are.

*are u still at the coffee shop???  
*aren’t u worried about the pap

Just at the mention of paparazzi, Mettaton grins. Paparazzi coming after him has been quite a recent development- well, his fame has been, too, he supposes. However, since the development is new, it means that they don’t know the places he frequents- which is exactly why Mettaton is lounging around outside the coffee shop. 

He WANTS them to find him! 

He knows very well all the trouble and turmoil that can come with paparazzi- and yet there’s something so glamorous about people just wanting to capture him being him- it’s something he’d dreamt of ever since he was a child. 

Besides, Mettaton loves being photographed. A few times, he’s even posed for them- and those pictures are always trending the very next day. 

It doesn’t seem as if they’re coming anytime soon, though- after all, today has been the first day he’s ever actually gone in person to get his coffee. 

Someone did recognize him, though- a bright-eyed barista who had promptly gone red upon seeing him, asking him if he was Mettaton.

The dramatic leg he’d stuck up in the air certainly answered her question. 

Mettaton can’t help but feel giddy at the very thought of the interaction- signing his autograph that he’s practiced since he could talk on a spare napkin for her in sparkly pink glitter pen- a pen is now an essential for him to carry around.

The look on her face as he’d smiled at her, posed for a picture, posed in general, posed as he’d left- Mettaton loves his fans. He just does. How could he not?

The sun seems to brighten even more, if it’s possible, the heat only growing in its intensity. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to wear a black crop top, black shorts, and black shoes.

It was, however, a good idea to wear black heart-shaped sunglasses- just as Mettaton is about to take them off his head, where they’ve been fashionably resting, and put them on, he hears a somewhat familiar voice.

“Mettaton???”

Mettaton turns around, only to be faced with a skeleton in a very bright jogging ensemble. It’s not just any skeleton, though- it’s the very same one Mettaton had met a few days ago, at brunch.

“Oh! Hello darling! Erm, Papayas, was it?” Mettaton asks, and immediately knows as soon as he says it that the name isn’t right- he honestly doesn’t have a clue what the skeleton’s name is- it’s simply slipped his mind.

“Nyeh! Very close! My name, in fact, is the Great Papyrus!” Papyrus seems undeterred- a good thing, since Mettaton knows if it had been the other way around, he’d have immediately been annoyed at someone getting his name wrong.

To be fair, though, it isn’t as if Papyrus’s face is on magazines and TV.

“Oh! That’s right. A lovely name, darling! So sorry I forgot- it must be all this heat. It makes me almost forget my own name!” Mettaton chuckles, “Well, that’s not entirely true, but still.”

Just as Mettaton is about to politely excuse himself- he really should get going- Papyrus begins to speak again. Normally, Mettaton would just leave- not that he’s one for being rude, but he’s also not one for missing meetings- but something about the way that the skeleton is nervously looking at him, rubbing the back of his neck constantly, makes him feel a little bad- poor Papyrus still does seem to be quite nervous around him. 

It wouldn’t make it any better if he left.

“It is indeed very hot today! I feel as if though my bones are going to melt, considering the fact that the sun is so bright, and that, erm, you’re, uh, here- Not that I would melt at the sight of you! I’m just saying! That it’s very hot today! Is all!” Papyrus stammers, ‘ANYWAYS! I was just jogging with Undyne when I happened to see you here!”

“Oh- is she here?” Mettaton has to keep from rolling his eyes- he’s really not in the mood to see her right now- or ever, if he’s being honest- not to mention that he already has to leave, and she would probably create some sort of spear-related scene upon seeing him. 

“No, she is not! She just left, in fact! She had, er, careerish obligations, it seems. She did recommend this cafe, though! Have you ever been?” Papyrus asks, his tone constantly going up and up as he speaks- at least he’s not running away this time.

“I just did- my drink is from there, in fact.” Mettaton raises his cup, turning the logo of the coffee shop towards Papyrus, all while sneaking a quick glance at his phone. It’s about to be twelve- he has a meeting at twelve thirty, and it’ll probably take his driver a good twenty minutes to get there, barring any traffic.

“Oh! ...What is it?” Papyrus questions, squinting at the drink in question.

“It’s iced coffee, darling.” Mettaton responds.

A slightly awkward silence ensues between them- Mettaton knows he could absolutely put Papyrus at ease with his suave social skills, but he really needs this conversation to be over in order for him to make the meeting.

Just as Mettaton begins to speak- “Well, it was nice seeing you, darling, I should really-“- Papyrus begins to speak as well.

The sheer volume of Papyrus’s voice drowns out his- Metttaton would normally consider this rude, except it’s clear that Papyrus is only speaking so loudly because he’s nervous- his fists are clenched tightly to his sides, and he looks as if though he’s trying not to faint.

“I WAS! WONDERING! IF YOU HAD GIVEN ANY THOUGHT TO OUR FRIENDSHIP HANG-“

Mettaton’s phone lights up with another text- only this time it’s not from Alphys. It’s from his driver.

*Are you on your way back?  
*The meeting is at 12:30

Ugh, he really needs to go, and he honestly just doesn’t have time for small talk- he wasn’t exactly planning on running into Papyrus today.

Or ever again, really- not out of choice, but out of the fact that he generally doesn’t make a habit of talking to Undyne, which, by extension, means her friends.

Still, though, he does feel a little bad leaving Papyrus like this.

So he does something he wouldn’t normally do.

“Do you have Instagram?” Mettaton asks hurriedly, talking his phone out of his pocket.

“I do, in fact, have Instagram! I got it a few month-“

“Here,” Mettaton shoves his phone into Papyrus’s hands, “What’s your handle?”

Papyrus looks stunned. “Um. CoolSkeleton95???”

Mettaton taps his foot impatiently. “Type it in, darling, don’t tell me- I’m not going to make it on time.” Mettaton says this last part under his breath, which thankfully causes Papyrus not to hear.

“I, erm- you want me to use your phone? To type it??? Are you sure that’s, uh, a safe thing to do to someone??? I mean you’re very famous, so someone could easily just-“

Mettaton gives Papyrus a weird look. “Are you planning to throw my phone in the road or something?”

Papyrus jolts. “Um! No! I would never! I take other’s personal belongings very seriously- I only treat them with the utmost care!”

Papyrus then proceeds to type his handle in- finally!- and hands Mettaton back his phone.

Mettaton doesn’t even bother to glance at Papyrus’s profile- he’s in too much of a hurry- and just presses the follow button. “There. We’re following each other now, see? You know what my handle is, I’m sure.”

Papyrus looks as if he’s just been slapped, and handed a big check- something Mettaton’s been thinking of doing on one of his quiz shows, but now’s not the time to think of potential filming ideas.

“Yes! I do! I- WOWIE!!! I can’t believe THE Mettaton- you, I mean!!!- are following I, the Great Pap-“

Another text from his driver.

*Meeting starts in ten

“Wellhoneyitwasveryniceseeingyouihavetobegoingnowbyegorgeous!” Mettaton blows Papyrus a quick kiss and runs off- thankfully, he’s a pro in running in all sorts of heels, including heeled sandals- a new trend.

Unbeknownst to Mettaton, Papyrus nearly keels over as soon as Mettaton leaves- whether it was from the prospect of seeing Mettaton again, them now following each other, or the blown kiss, is hard to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I told you they’d meet again! It was a short meeting, but here we are!  
> I felt bad for Paps while writing this- it’s never easy seeing everyone else but you have a discernible path in life.  
> I also felt bad for MTT while writing this. Standing in the heat is never fun.
> 
> They’re following each other now! That’s something for Papyrus, at least!
> 
> If you liked this chapter, please comment and kudos- it just makes my day! Till next chapter!


	5. Sushi, Karaoke, and Awful Weeb Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton goes out for a night on the town with Alphys, Undyne, and Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Leave a comment and kudos if you do!

Before today, Mettaton’s never seen such an… interesting Instagram account before.

Well, interesting is putting it lightly- this Papyrus guy apparently has a penchant for posting very… creative photos.

(Creative is also putting it lightly.)

After their abrupt and unexpected meeting the other day, Mettaton had really had no time to think about the potential consequences of giving someone who was essentially a stranger to him access to his DMs.

Until today.

For a moment or two, Mettaton had been filled with a sense of slight worry- while he honestly has no problem giving people access to his DMs- even if they’re a fan- it was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment type of deal.

And while he does receive hundreds of adoring messages from fans daily, they’re all in his inbox- with Papyrus, they’re both following each other, so his messages instantly go through.

In retrospect, maybe it wasn’t the best idea- after all, while Mettaton lives by his “anything for a fan” policy, Papyrus is also slightly more than that, in the sense that he’s also a friend of Undyne, who’s dating his best friend.

So, the implications of just telling Papyrus to message him whenever aren’t exactly great- what if Papyrus took it the wrong way, and is now waiting to send him some sort of flirty message, and, when it isn’t reciprocated, tells Undyne? Then he’d have Undyne on his ass, which is honestly the last thing he needs.

(Not that he’s above answering a few of his more risqué messages- still, though, he doesn’t know Papyrus all that well, and while he lives for drama- he practically  _ is  _ drama!- Undyne drama never goes over well.)

In his defense, though, he was in a rush! He has about a million meetings a day, and he was not about to miss out on one just to have awkward small talk with someone he barely knows.

Which is why he’s now currently Insta-stalking Papyrus, just to be sure he’s not some axe-murderer.

(Besides, if you’re going to murder someone, use a chainsaw! They never fail to liven up a party.)

As Mettaton scrolls opens Papyrus’s profile, he can’t help but notice his ridiculous yet somehow endearing profile picture- him with muscular sunglasses-wearing biceps pasted on his arms.

Mettaton can’t help but smirk- well, this is bound to be interesting.

His bio reads as follows: “HELLO, HUMANS AND MONSTERS! IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I HAVE DECIDED TO START THIS INSTANTANEOUS GRAM PAGE TO BETTER CONNECT WITH YOU ALL! MY INTERESTS AND HOBBIES INCLUDE COOKING, PUZZLES, AND JAPES! MY DISLIKES INCLUDE BAD PUNS, CERTAIN WHITE, FLUFFY CANINES, AND PRANKS, USUALLY THE ONES INVOLVING WHOOPEE CUSHIONS! FEEL FREE TO ‘FOLLOW’ ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN HAVING A COOL FRIEND! NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

It takes a moment to process all that.

Typing in all-caps is a bit assaulting to the eye, but Mettaton won’t complain- after all, everyone’s entitled to their own fabulously unique way of writing things. He also has to give Papyrus points for his generous use of emojis- after his bio is a paragraph of mostly bone and pasta related emojis.

Mettaton glances around him- he’s currently waiting to film the next scene in one of his dramas, but everyone is still getting everything together. He has time- so, he proceeds to look at Papyrus’s most recent post.

It’s a picture of him holding a flaming pot above a stove- ooh, the lighting of the fire is to  _ die  _ for- he might have to consider setting something on fire just to get great lighting for his next photo.

Maybe it can be Burgerpants’s next paycheck or something.

The description is still in all-caps, describing how Papyrus is making what he refers to as, ‘COOL PASTA FOR A COOL DUDE!’

Mettaton snorts- it’s not even a snort of malice or belittlement, it’s just genuinely a funny description. He’ll give Papyrus more points for having a sense of humor- assumingly, most axe-murderers wouldn’t have that.

The rest of Papyrus’s posts are of a similar caliber- pictures of a rock covered in sprinkles, him posing in front of various snow-Papyruses (the craftsmanship is quite impressive), him supplexing things with Undyne… somehow, Mettaton finds himself smiling. It’s just a genuinely nice page- while it lacks the glamour and aesthetic Mettaton’s made sure his profile has, it’s all very genuine.

The one thing Mettaton fails to see is a message from Papyrus, who hasn’t made use of the fact that he can instantly message Mettaton whenever. Mettaton has to admit, he’s a little relieved- that whole encounter with Papyrus yesterday had been ever-so-slightly awkward, and while his feed is quite sweet, he isn’t quite sure if he’s up to having another conversation with Papyrus at the moment. It’s nothing against the skeleton, but it’s just a matter of, well… not totally wanting to. 

Papyrus is a total stranger who just happens to be best friends with the woman he’s constantly butting heads with! It’s perfectly reasonable for Mettaton to want to not have more interactions like that.

(Not that the thought of Undyne would scare him away from talking to someone- it’s just a combination of not wanting to be obligated to talk to someone  _ and  _ having to spend even more time with Undyne type of thing. Okay, so perhaps he’d made an eensy-weensy lapse in judgement when he followed Papyrus.)

Suddenly, someone taps his shoulder, and Mettaton’s instantaneously brought back to reality. Right, he’s supposed to be doing a scene right now- there’s no time to Instastalk someone he barely knows!

The person in question happens to be June, his officially-official P.A- Mettaton feels a twinge of regret at forgetting about her entire existence up until now, but, in his defense, she  _ is  _ a pretty recent hire.

“Uh, hey. You know the photographer you shot with a few days ago?” June asks, fiddling with a file in her hands- her hair is up in a way-too-tight bun. 

“I do, darling. Did something happen with the magazine release?” Mettaton straightens, focusing all his attention on his P.A- if the release has to be delayed, he just might throw some sort of hissy fit on the phone with his manager- that magazine release had already been pushed back and forward a few times.

“No, no, it’s fine! It’s totally fine,” June shakes her head vigorously, “I just wanted to let you know that they gave me the negatives for you to look at. It’s still dropping tomorrow, as scheduled.”

Mettaton sighs in relief as June hands him the file folder. Upon opening it, Mettaton is greeted with glossy photos of himself in rather kittenish poses- flipping through them, he feels a sense of pride and giddiness- that’s really him, in the body he’s meant to have, in the place he’s meant to be.

“Don’t I look absolutely darling, June? I don’t think there’s a single bad shot in here- although one could credit the photographer for that, I suppose. Or me! I mean, someone has to bring all the fabulousness to the table!” Mettaton laughs, holding one of many photos out for June to look at.

“Wow, that’s a really good shot of you- I like how your eyes are closed. It makes you look like you’re thinking really hard.” June says softly.

“What are you talking about, darling? My eyes aren’t closed- I was winking in that shot.” Mettaton raises an eyebrow, glancing at the photo again, and- wait.

“I mean, your hair is usually, like,” June proceeds to make a swooping motion over one of her eyes.

Mettaton’s stunned.

“Wait, so all this time that I’ve been winking in photos- it comes across like I’m blinking? Or that my eyes are just simply closed?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“Great. Just great. And all this time I thought I’d been looking so chic.” Mettaton groans- there’s no use in complaining about it now, though. He’ll just have to avoid doing his signature MTT Brand Wink when being photographed- which apparently came off as a not-so-signature MTT Brand Blink.

Suddenly, his phone lights up- a call from Alphys. Quickly, Mettaton glances around- there seems to be enough time to answer the call before he has to start his next scene- and so he answers.

“Uh, hey. What’re you up to?” Alphys says upon his answering the phone, sounding a little hesitant, as she always does when calling someone- Mettaton knows how much she’s not a fan of using the phone. 

“Oh, not much- just filming today. You know how it is- and by how it is, I mean absolutely  _ amazing _ ! I absolutely adore what I do, of course- how’s, er, science?” Mettaton asks- while he knows Alphys is still very much a working scientist, he isn’t exactly sure what type of science she does now, now that she’s not the Royal Scientist anymore. 

Alphys snorts. “Science is great, MTT. Oh, uh, before I forget to ask- how’s your, uh, body? Are we still on for Friday’s checkup?”

“My body is absolutely fabulous, thank you for asking- and for making it, too. And, yes, that date still checks out- hold on, let me-“ Mettaton quickly gets June’s attention again, motioning towards her notepad.

It takes June a second before she seems to realize that she’s supposed to be writing this down- at least she’s quicker than Burgerpants, at any rate.

“Sorry, back now. Friday works, yes. The checkup can’t last too long, though- I have to get back on set by a certain time.”

“A-alright, that’s fine- don’t worry, I can get it done quick, as long as you aren’t, uh, dancing so hard your arms and legs fall off again,” Alphys teases, and Mettaton can’t help but roll his eyes good-naturedly.

“Oh, but  _ Doctor,  _ if I can’t dance, then what’s the point to living? What a dreadful life that would be!” Mettaton says, dramatically pressing his hand to his forehead.

“Are you posing dramatically right now? I just, like, really feel like you are.” Alphys remarks, sounding amused.

“Ooh, Alphys, you know me too well- that’s why we’re the best of friends, I suppose.” Mettaton can’t help but smile- at times, he almost forgets how much fun he has with Alphys.

“Right! We’re, uh! Best friends! Which is why!!! I, uh… wanna invite you to hang out today later maybe???” Alphys blurts out- Mettaton can just picture her nervously clutching the phone, etcetera.

“Was that why you called? And here I was thinking you just wanted a pleasant chat- Alphys, Alphys, Alphys, I tend to forget how sneaky you can be,” Mettaton jokes, glancing at his nails as he does so- perfect, as usual.

“Hey! I was, uh, building up to that! Aren’t you the one who’s always talking about… uh…”

“Dramatic buildup?” Mettaton assists, “A tragedy on the skin, and yet such a lovely way to grab the audience’s attention. Anyhow- tell me the details about this hang out. Spill.”

“Okay, so… just letting you know now, so you’re not, uh, surprised? Undyne’s going. And Papyrus is, too. He’s the, uh, guy you met at brunch.” Alphys sounds a little nervous as she says this- Mettaton can probably guess why.

“Not that I don’t want to hang out with you when it’s just us or anything!!! Iactuallyreallywannahaveananimenightsoonmaybeifyou’reupforit it’s just I know how busy you are with work and Undyne’s usually the one who plans this stuff anyway since I don’t really, uh, go out much??? I mean, I’m definitely trying to! You know, socializing and all that. Anyways she just usually plans this stuff and then she invites me along and I invited you because it’s fun when you come along! Because! We’re best friends!!! And!!! Yeah!!!”

Mettaton can’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry, Alphys, I know. And as for anime night… we can do it as long as we can watch one of my movies, too.”

“Deal! So… does that mean you’ll come?” Alphys asks, hopefulness creeping into her tone. 

Mettaton considers this all.

On one hand, going out with Alphys does sound like fun.

On the other hand, there’s Undyne. And Papyrus. Why he doesn’t want to see Undyne speaks for itself- they do nothing but clash constantly. With Papyrus, however, is a bit more complicated.

He’s not trying to avoid the skeleton, and he doesn’t dislike him, either. He just doesn’t know Papyrus all that well, and when you consider the fact that Alphys and Undyne, who are dating are probably going to be spending a lot of time together during their outing as well, it just seems a little awkward to have to only talk to Papyrus, a stranger he doesn’t know all that well.

Mettaton thinks back onto what Alphys had just said- he knows she really does genuinely want to hang out with him, and it’s not as if she’s rude enough to just ignore him in favor of Undyne.

“Of course I will, darling. Where will we be going? I have to know so I can plan an outfit.” Mettaton finally responds, and immediately feels glad that he does- he really  _ is  _ starting to look forward to it.

“Oh!” Alphys sounds pleasantly surprised at his response, “Okay! G-great! We’re going to grab something to eat at this new place Undyne heard about- and uh, I don’t really know what we’re going to do after? We might just walk around- Undyne said something about karaoke, maybe, but I don’t really know. Either way, it’ll be fun! I think.”

“Sounds fabulous, beautiful. What time are we meeting up at? Because I don’t get out of filming until a certain time.”

“Uh… Undyne says seven. Is seven good? B-because I can maybe ask her to reschedule if it isn’t, um, good?” Alphys asks.

Mettaton shakes his head. “No, no, seven is perfect. Send me the address of wherever we’ll be going. See you soon, Alphy!”

“O-okay! Bye, MTT!” 

And with that, Mettaton hangs up, his phone screen going back to Papyrus’s Instagram page.

Just as Mettaton is about to exit out, a notification chimes- Papyrus has messaged him.

“That was quick,” Mettaton mutters under his breath, opening up the message. They don’t exactly know each other that well, so what could Papyrus be messaging hum about?

Then again, he had followed Papyrus for a reason- well, not so much as a reason- more like he desperately needed to get to a meeting, and was so used to just… telling people to contact him that he may have made a teesny judgement in error.

But, as he’s deduced, Papyrus is no axe-murderer.

*HELLO, METTATON!

*I HOPE IT IS ALRIGHT THAT I’M MESSAGING YOU. IF I AM DISTURBING YOU, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

*I HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED BY UNDYNE THAT YOU WILL BE JOINING US FOR OUR NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN!

*I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THERE! HOPEFULLY IT WILL BE A GOOD FRIENDSHIP HANGOUT FOR US ALL!

*NYEHFULLY YOURS,

*PAPYRUS

Well. Papyrus is polite, if anything. Mettaton can’t help but smile a little- while he doesn’t exactly know Papyrus well enough to call him a friend- even though Papyrus seems to have no problem with doing so- it’s a thoughtful message, at least. Even if it is a little odd, in an endearing way.

Mettaton thinks for a moment, and then types out his response.

*Thank you, darling! I look forward to seeing you too.

And then, because he can’t help it- it really was a bit endearing- he sends one more message.

*Oh Yesssssssfully Yours,

*Mettaton

  
  


***

  
  


Mettaton can practically feel the style that he’s exuding.

Since their plans were somewhat ambiguous, Mettaton had planned his outfit carefully- then again, he always takes at least an hour to plan outfits, so in retrospect he’s planned an outfit rather regularly. 

His outfit is anything but regular, though- he’s not about to go downtown in some drab little ensemble! The outfit in question is simple yet  _ so  _ not understated- a chic, slim-cut black leather jacket paired with stylish high-heeled boots and a top that would bring tears to the eye of anyone who wasn’t him that looked at the price tag is the look he’s gone with tonight.

His other option was one of his more glamorous dresses, but considering the fact that all he knows they’re doing for sure is going to a restaurant, Mettaton had decided to forgo the dress for the night. After all, knowing it’s a place that Undyne’s picked, it could easily be some sort of hovel where you have to wrestle people for your food. 

It takes Mettaton a bit of walking around to find Alphys- partially because he keeps detouring to window-shop, and partially because he cannot for the life of him find the restaurant- something he loves about the surface is that there’s so much of everything- boutiques, theaters, and, of course, restaurants. It’s nothing short of amazing- so many opportunities to experience new, fabulous things! The amount of places, however, does make it a little bit tricky when it comes time to find one specific place.

Of course, he eventually does find them- they’re all stood outside on the sidewalk, talking amongst themselves. Undyne seems to be shaking Papyrus back and forth by his shoulders, laughing loudly- Mettaton feels a twinge of sympathy for the poor skeleton- he looks as if he’s about to vomit, thanks to Undyne’s rowdiness.

Mettaton wastes no time walking up to the group, and immediately scoops Alphys up in a hug, before gently setting her down. “Hello, darlings!”

“M-MTT! You made it!” Alphys smiles at him, adjusting her glasses, which had nearly fallen off during their hug.

“Heya, punk! What took you so long?! We were out here waiting for you, for like, twenty minutes!!!” Is Undyne’s way of greeting him- she looks a little pissed off, but Mettaton won’t let her get to him- it’s too early to be butting heads with her, anyways.

“Well, Undyne, I’ll have you know that I was looking for you all the while as well. It took me forever to find you all- the amount of walking I had to do was grueling,” Mettaton groans, rolling his eyes, “I almost scuffed my boots! And they’re new, too.”

“Mettaton!!! Hello!!!” Papyrus suddenly blurts out, causing Mettaton to immediately divert his attention to the skeleton. He’s dressed in a simple sweater and slacks, save for a bright orange… scarf? Cape? Either way, the outfit isn’t bad- maybe not right for a night on the town, but a pretty decent outfit nonetheless. 

“Hello, Papyrus. How are you, darling?” Mettaton greets- the skeleton doesn’t look as nervous as he was before during their first two meetings. While it’s clear he’s still a bit high-strung around Mettaton, he isn’t running away or anything, which Mettaton is relieved about- he doesn’t know how he would have enjoyed the night out if Papyrus was constantly acting on edge around him.

“I am very great, as I usually am! Thank you for asking! How are you?” Papyrus smiles nervously at Mettaton, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater.

“I’m fabulous- thank  _ you  _ for asking.” Mettaton gives Papyrus a smile of his own, and then turns to the group as a whole, “So! Where are we going to eat? I don’t know about you, but I am absolutely  _ famished _ !”

“You’re looking right at it, punk!” Undyne grins one of her large, toothy grins, and gestures to the restaurant they’re standing in front of. The sign is a neon blue, something in Japanese.

Of course.

“I-I’ve never been here before, actually. Undyne heard this place was good, though, so… yeah!” Alphys says, looking up at Mettaton.

“Oh? Well, I’ll be the judge of that, beauties. I ran a restaurant review show in the Underground, you know?” 

“Oh! I remember! Restaurant Reviews with a Killer Robot! I especially liked the episode where you reviewed your own hotel restaurant- I, too, agree that it deserved seven stars!” Papyrus pipes up, looking excited just at the prospect of discussing the show- Mettaton is as well, since he has to admit, any topic pertaining to his work- or just himself, really- immediately interests him.

“Seven stars?! That’s bogus! Isn’t it only supposed to be five stars???” Undyne interrupts, looking at Mettaton in disbelief.

“Well, typically, yes, but I just felt that the restaurant was so extraordinarily fabulous and high-quality that it deserved the two extra.” Mettaton replies, “And the customers all thought so too, by the way.”

“They’re on your TV show!!! OF COURSE THEY’RE GONNA-“

“L-let’s head in, guys! It’s, uh, getting pretty cold out here, and-“ Alphys stammers, but is interrupted before she can even finish her sentence by Undyne hoisting her above her head and running inside the restaurant. 

“I’VE GOT YOU, BABE! NOTHING BUT THE WARMEST FOR MY GIRL!!!”

Which, Mettaton notices, leaves just Papyrus and him standing outside.

Papyrus looks a bit nervous- he’s not following Alphys and Undyne, but he’s not saying anything either.

So, Mettaton decides to take the initiative- that’s what makes a great star, after all!

“Thank you for your message, darling. It was so sweet of you to send me it earlier- I must apologize for the way I left you earlier, though.”

Papyrus seems a little surprised that Mettaton’s speaking to him directly once more, but he seems to be more at ease with responding. “You’re very welcome! I’m confused, however- I thought your response to my message was very response-ful! I especially appreciated your sign-off at the end. It was almost as great as the Great Papyrus’s! Which is me, of course.”

“Oh, no, darling, I’m not talking about my response- I’m talking about our little run-in the other day, near that coffee shop. I know I left quite suddenly- I was just apologizing for doing so. I hadn’t meant to cut our conversation short- there was just a meeting I was about to be late to, so I had to leave.” Mettaton clarifies, and immediately, Papyrus’s… eye sockets?... seem to light up with realization.

“Oh! Well, that’s okay, Mettaton! I understand what it’s like to be very busy! I, too, have a very… demanding schedule! One with lots of events and such as well!” Papyrus exclaims, although something in his tone seems to change, his smile faltering ever so slightly- he doesn’t look absolutely downcast, but there’s clearly something that’s bothering him.

Mettaton is tempted to pry, for a moment, but decides against it- he just doesn’t know Papyrus that well, to suddenly be bringing up details about his personal life like that. Besides, this night out is supposed to be fun, and Mettaton knows that if it were him, he wouldn’t exactly be in the mood to talk about that sort of thing.

“Right.” Mettaton shifts his weight onto his other- glamorous- leg, and glances at the restaurant. “Well, shall we go inside? I’m sure Undyne and Alphys are probably waiting for us.”

“Oh! You’re right, Mettaton! They’re probably extremely bored without our presence! Oh, I can just picture them mourning the loss of the company of the Great Papyrus and his cool friend Mettaton… we should go in there right now! So they don’t have to be bored any longer!” Papyrus sighs, placing a hand against his own chest, as if to feel their pain.

Mettaton giggles. “You’re funny, darling. I love your little, er, neck-accessory, by the way. Well, I’m really not quite sure what to call it. Is it a scarf?” Mettaton gestures to the item in question as they walk inside.

Papyrus seems to brighten up again, looking overjoyed at the fact that Mettaton has complimented him. “Oh! Why thank you, Mettaton! And! It is not, in fact, a scarf, but rather a cape! I can see why you would think it was a scarf, though- that’s the secret to fashion! Sneakily converting your clothes into one thing only to convert them into another! Although I suppose you’d know more about that sort of thing than I do. After all, you are an extremely fashionable robot!”

“Well, you’re right about that- and thank you, darling. I do try to look my best.” Mettaton responds, looking around at the inside of the restaurant.

They seem to be in some sort of sitting area- the type where you make your reservations, both for tables, cups, utensils, candles, napkins… 

Undyne is talking to the person taking reservations, while Alphys is sitting down, looking at something on her phone.

“You’d better not be watching anime, darling! Tonight is an anime-free night- no garbage allowed!” Mettaton teases, glancing at one of the spare menus out of curiosity.

“I-I’m not! Plus, anime isn’t garbage, and you know it!” Alphys huffs, looking ready to get into their life-long debate on the classification of the genre “But, uh, no. I was just reading this post some s-stupid person made. He’s, like, has the n-nerve to call Sailor Moon basic and boring??? Doesn’t he understand it, like, paved the way for-“

Just at the mention of another anime, Mettaton’s immediately only half listening. Instead, he chooses to peruse the menu- it’s all normal stuff, dumplings and noodles- so basically Alphys’s entire diet- until something catches his eye.

“-and, like, he’s out here calling Hotaru’s arc f-fucking boring and long drawn out??? L-like, NO, you f-fuck, her arc is great, and it isn’t derivative and repetitive to have another child member on the team, it’s a symbol of rebirth, and it paves the way for Chibiusa to have her own team of Sailor Senshi when she’s older-“

“Uh, Alphys, darling? You might want to take a look at this.” Mettaton snaps Alphys out of her little rant- thank goodness, it’s two birds in one stone- causing her to get up from her seat and walk over to him, glancing at the menu.

“Yeah? Is something wrong, Mettaton, because I- oh. Oh no.” Alphys blanches, finally having seen the issue.

“Oh, yes.” Mettaton nods, all of his usual charm and glamourness sucked out of his signature catchphrase. 

The menu seems rather normal, listing different beverage options and appetizers- up until a certain point. 

Then, there’s an entire section dedicated to a certain type of food- sushi.

By now, Papyrus has made his way over to see what the issue is as well.

“I see what the problem is- there are far too many carbonated beverages on this menu! Don’t they know that carbonated, sugary drinks are both bad for your teeth and aren’t exactly fun for certain people- not me!- to drink? Because the bubbles sting when I- I mean, they- drink them??? We should advise the owners or this restaurant to remove these at once!” Papyrus shakes his head disapprovingly, and then, as an afterthought, “In a polite way, of course. Maybe through email!”

“No, I- that’s not the problem, Papyrus. The problem is that there’s sushi on the menu.” Mettaton explains to the skeleton, who just looks terribly confused.

“Okay??? And??? Are you allergic to sushi, Mettaton? If so, do not worry- I will make sure none of what you order tonight happens to have any sort of sushi in any way, shape, or form! Nyeh heh heh- just looking out for my cool friend!” Papyrus grins proudly, looking rather pleased with himself.

Mettaton tilts his head- oh no, Alphys’s awful anime mannerisms are starting to spread- but doesn’t say anything. Papyrus really does seem determined to continuously call Mettaton his friend- while it’s not so unbelievable, considering that Mettaton, is, well, himself, it makes Mettaton wonder if Papyrus really wants to be his friend that badly. It’s flattering, of course, but also just the teensiest bit thought-provoking.

“Uh, that’s not the problem, either. The problem is that sushi has fish i-in it, and Undyne… well…” Alphys trails off, looking to her girlfriend, who is currently still talking to the man who’s supposed to be getting them their table.

“Well, I- oh. Oh, this is very bad indeed.” Papyrus sobers, and the mood is immediately widespread- Mettaton can just feel all three of them thinking the same thing- how are they going to break this to Undyne?

Mettaton’s the one to break the silence. “Well! Alphys, darling, dear best friend of mine, light of my life, amazingly intelligent creator of this fabulous body- are you ready to tell her?”

“WHAT?! I-I can’t tell her! Are you c-crazy?!” Alphys sputters, looking taken aback, “H-how am I supposed to tell her that anyway?! I-I’m already not good with confrontation, and I mean… you should tell her, MTT! You’re more direct than I am!”

Oh, hell no. Mettaton is not about to break it to Undyne that this restaurant is serving… well, her. Undyne’ll probably supplex him because of her already irrational dislike of him, and then his hair is going to get messed up, and he did  _ not  _ spend thirty minutes styling it just to have it ruined.

“No way, no day, darling. You’re her girlfriend, aren’t you? Besides, she already doesn’t like me- it’ll be better coming from you, beautiful, trust me.” Mettaton puts his hands on his hips, giving Alphys an MTT Brand Look- one that clearly says he isn’t about to tell a fish monster that the restaurant they’re about to eat in serves fish.

“I-I don’t want to-“ Alphys starts, before being cut off by Papyrus, who seems to just want to stop the bickering before Undyne notices.

“Well! You two! What if we just went to a… different restaurant? That way no one has to tell Undyne, er, that she’s a featured dish on this restaurant’s menu???” Papyrus suggests with a nervous smile.

Both Alphys and Mettaton consider this. Well, Alphys considers it- Mettaton groans.

“I’m starving, though- I haven’t eaten since craft services.” Mettaton whines- he can practically feel his battery running low.

“Mettaton! Are you serious???” Alphys groans exasperatedly.

“What?! I’m hungry, okay??? Stars have to eat, too!” Mettaton says definitively, crossing his arms, “Besides, it’s a Friday night, and we're downtown- we’d be lucky to find another restaurant that isn’t packed for hours! Look how long it’s taking Undyne to even get us a table! I’m not saying that we should all eat fish, but I’m starving, downtown’s busy, we’re already here, there’s nowhere else to turn. Why can’t we just… obscure the sushi part of the menu from her and just agree not to tell her? Or, Alphys, you could just tell her like planned.“

“Okay, well… we could go to Buffalo Wild Wings??? Or something???” Alphys suggests weakly, giving Mettaton a helpless look.

Mettaton gives Alphys a look of his own. “I am  _ not  _ going to Buffalo Wild Wings.”

Not after last time.

Suddenly, Undyne comes up to them, a big grin on her face. “Alright, punks! I managed to get us a table- it took FOREVER, but the guy says we can go get seated now. We’re lucky - he said that at this time at night, without a reservation, you’re screwed!”

Mettaton glances at Alphys and Papyrus. Alphys is nervously wringing her hands, opening and closing her mouth- Mettaton is at a loss of what to do. He knows, deep down, that there’s no option but to tell Undyne- it’s what’s right- the only question is, how?

Suddenly, Papyrus takes a step towards Undyne. “Erm, Undyne, there may be a, uh, tiny discrepancy??? With the menu??? That may not be that tiny after all???”

“Yeah??? What is it? Is it super expensive or something?” Undyne asks.

Mettaton’s a little impressed. While this isn’t exactly some sort of movie-esque situation- who’s going to sacrifice themselves so the heroes can move forward?- Papyrus both literally and figuratively stepped up. He wasn’t exactly expecting that from the nervous, high-strung skeleton he’d only met a few days ago. 

So, Mettaton decides to help him. It’s not exactly an easy thing for the poor skeleton to explain all by his lonesome.

“Well, darling, there’s a certain… menu item that may be a little… troubling for you to see.” Mettaton steps up next to Papyrus, who just looks relieved that he’s not the only one who has to explain this. 

“Okay??? Are you guys going to actually tell me what it is or do I have to-“

“SUSHI! THERE’SSUSHIONTHEMENUUNDYNE!!!” Alphys blurts out from behind them- immediately, the whole restaurant glances at her, causing Alphys to turn red and shrink into herself.

There’s a silence.

And then.

“Okay, and???” Undyne gives them all a weird look, her eyebrows scrunched up.

Papyrus’s jaw drops to the floor.

(Mettaton has to step away from it to avoid accidentally touching it with his high heeled boots- they could get scuffed.)

Mettaton just stares at Undyne, eyes wide- how is she taking this so well?! If it were him, he probably would’ve made some big public scene- then again, he loves doing that sort of thing regardless, but still! How can Undyne not be bothered by the fact that they’re serving her on a plate, to be reviewed online by monsters and humans alike?!

“You’re- you’re a fish, Undyne! Sushi is  _ made  _ with fish!” Mettaton practically yells, “Do you not understand the correlation or something, darling?!”

“Of course I understand the fucking correlation!” Undyne groans, “But! I mean! It’s not like it’s the same thing! Dude, literally yesterday, Asgore called me and told me that they were selling goat’s milk at the grocery store! It’s kind of a weird time for all animal-themed monsters!”

“So… you’re not bothered by this? A-at all???” Alphys asks, seemingly having gotten over her embarrassment in favor of being shocked at Undyne’s reaction. 

“Well, I mean, I’m not gonna say it’s not weird for me- it totally is, like when I saw the fish tank they had-“

“They have a fish tank?” Mettaton mumbles, mostly to himself- he can already picture the endless opportunities for choice Instagram pics with the lighting of the fish tank illuminating his metal body. 

“-but like, it’s kind of different??? I mean, it’s not like they’re monsters, they’re just kinda these… weird things in the ocean??? I don’t know- I mean, I’m totally not gonna eat it!!! Don’t get me wrong!!! THAT WOULD BE GROSS!!! But yeah.” Undyne shrugs nonchalantly.

There’s another silence.

“Well, darling, you’re taking that a lot better than we expected you would.” Mettaton admits, not even bothering to be snarky with her for once. He’s just grateful that Undyne isn’t causing a scene- that’s his job.

Undyne snorts. “How’d you think I was gonna take it, punk?”

“Well… very supplex-y???” Papyrus gives Undyne a sheepish smile.

“Well, there’s still PLENTY OF TIME FOR THAT! COME HERE!” Undyne yells, grabbing Papyrus and attempting to supplex him. 

“Please do not supplex the skeleton!” Papyrus groans, doing his best to avoid… well, being suplexed. Mettaton would too, he supposes- after all, it doesn’t seem very fun to be hoisted above someone’s head without your permission.

“Fine, fine!” Undyne puts Papyrus down with a wide grin, “Next time, though! I won’t hold back! Anyways- be kinda hard to find a restaurant that doesn’t serve fish.”

  
  


“There’s always Buffalo Wild Wings.” Alphys mutters.

Mettaton whips around, glaring at Alphys. 

“OH MY GOD, ALPHYS, NO ONE WANTS TO GO TO BUFFALO WILD WINGS. NOT AFTER LAST TIME!”

“Last time? What happened last time?” Papyrus looks at the other three, confused.

“We uh… we don’t talk about last time.” Alphys mutters.

“We  _ never  _ talk about last time.” Mettaton agrees- and with that, he sashays off to their table.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  


“I have to admit- when I heard this was a certain someone’s choice of restaurant, I thought it was going to be some sort of hovel.” Mettaton says from his place at the table- they’re all seated down, with their food in front of them, having arrived just seconds prior- Alphys and Undyne are seated next to each other, having left Mettaton with no choice but to sit next to Papyrus.

Well, no choice is a bit dramatic. It’s not as if he loathes the thought of sitting next to him- there was simply just nowhere else to sit in the layout to the table. They’re sat in a sort of private area- there are screens shielding the tables in the restaurant from views of the other tables. The table in question is low, and there aren’t really chairs, but rather booths without the header.

Everyone had seemingly made the silent agreement not to order anything with fish in it- Mettaton had opted for a California roll- which does  _ not _ have fish in it, something he made sure of- simply because of the name- anything made after a human city is an immediate yes from him.

Undyne doesn’t seem offended by the accusation- she merely rolls her eyes. “I’m not gonna take my girlfriend out to a hovel, bolts-for-brains! You, though, I’d take to one- like the dump!” Undyne gives him an irritating smile.

“My, my, Undyne. That’s assuming I would ever go out for dinner with you in the first place~ then again, I’d probably have to be brainwashed to do something as ridiculous as that.” Mettaton gives her a smile of his own, tilting his head in a very not anime-ish way.

“Well, I, for one, am glad that we’re all at dinner together! Having a cool friend hangout!” As Papyrus says this, his eyes quickly flit to Mettaton, and then away- he really is trying to use the title as much as he can.

Well, Mettaton won’t fault him. It’s better than Papyrus freaking out at the very sight of him.

“Y-yeah! This has been really fun so far, you guys!” Alphys smiles, looking at everyone in the group.

Mettaton can’t help but feel happy for her. He knows it’s taken her quite some time to even begin to feel comfortable with herself- and going out is a big step, at that. He’s been trying his best to help her little by little, and it seems that Undyne has been as well.

Mettaton thinks back to when Alphys extended the invitation to him to come out tonight- in hindsight, he’s glad he said yes. Well, there wasn’t really much of a chance of him saying no- he loves going out, of course- besides the fact that he was ever-so-slightly hesitant that Papyrus was going to be a bit weird about Mettaton having followed him.

But so far, Papyrus hasn’t been. Granted, they haven’t talked much, but at least he’s not constantly gawking at him anymore.

Besides, someone as stunningly hot as him isn’t about to waste his night inside- he probably would have gone out regardless.

“A-alright! Let’s eat, ‘cause I’m actually, uh, really hungry right now. Itadakimasu~!” Alphys says cheerfully, breaking apart her chopsticks.

Mettaton snorts. “Did you seriously just say that, Alphy?”

Alphys turns red. “I don’t- I didn’t-“

“Oh my god. You are  _ such  _ a weeb, darling, I honestly can’t believe it.” Mettaton laughs- Alphys really is a dork.

In an endearing way, of course.

Most of the time.

“Oh, s-shut up and eat your food, MTT.” Alphys grumbles, taking a bite of one of her dumplings.

Mettaton just grins at her, but complies.

“H-how is it, Mettaton?” Papyrus asks, doing his best to give him a look that doesn’t scream nervousness.

Mettaton shrugs. “Hm… three stars, maybe?”

“THREE STARS??? I thought you said this place wasn’t a hovel!!!” Undyne shouts indignantly, accidentally spearing one of her rolls clean through with her chopsticks.

“I didn’t say it was amazing, either.” Mettaton glares at her, “I suppose there’s something to be said for the decor, but the food is a bit lackluster- it could stand to have more glitter. Or any at all, really.”

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT GLITTER ON FOOD, YOU BIG DUMB ROBOT!!! FOOD ISN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE GLITTER AT ALL!!!”

Mettaton simply shakes his head dismissively. “That’s not how they do it on the surface, darling.” 

“WE ARE ON THE SURFACE!!!”

After that, they all simply take to enjoying their food- while he’d disappointed at the lack of glitter, the California roll really isn’t bad- not that he’ll admit that to Undyne, though. 

Alphys and Undyne have lapsed into a conversation about some anime, which Mettaton immediately is disinterested in- instead, he turns to look at Papyrus, who’s been quietly eating his own food for the past few minutes, having previously been talking with Undyne about a lack of something- well, Mettaton had kept hearing the word “sans”, so he can really only assume.

Mettaton’s a bit curious about the skeleton. Based off of his feed, he’s definitely an interesting person, but Mettaton’s really only seen one side of him. It’s clear, seeing how they’ve met multiple times now, and that he’s now following Papyrus, that he just might see the skeleton again, and while he isn’t about to call Papyrus one of his friends, it wouldn’t hurt to get to know him a bit better- if anything, it would make things less awkward.

Besides, while Mettaton could idly scroll on his phone as he usually does whenever Undyne and Alphys are talking about anime, he would feel bad leaving Papyrus just… sitting there.

“I really admire what you did earlier, darling.” Mettaton speaks up, taking another bite of his food.

Papyrus startles a bit, seemingly not having expected being addressed. “O-Oh! You mean, with the sushi incident??”

“I do indeed, darling. I mean, I honestly don’t know if I would’ve been able to step up like that. It wasn’t exactly an easy thing to say, was it?” Mettaton laughs.

“Oh! Well, thank you, Mettaton! And, no, it wasn’t very easy! I was afraid there would be a lot of spears involved… not at me!! I simply meant in general! Undyne would never hurt me- our best-friendship is too great!” Papyrus explains, fiddling with his chopsticks, averting his gaze to his shoes.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t as well, Papyrus. She’s definitely overly-aggressive- to the point where it’s a bit annoying-“ Mettaton mostly mumbles this part to himself, “-but I’m sure she wouldn’t hurt someone she calls her friend. After all, that wouldn’t be very nice of her, would it?”

“It wouldn’t!’ Papyrus nods.

And then, yet another awkward silence begins to ensue- only this time, Mettaton’s determined to not let it linger. He’s not about to try and be best friends with Papyrus, but he’s not about to let them both just sit awkwardly next to each other, either.

Throughout his life, Mettaton has prided himself in being great at being able to lift other’s moods and making situations more fabulous- he’d had to do that with Blooky and Shyren, getting Shyren to be less, well, shy, and getting Blooky, the dear, to not waste their days sadly moping around the house. Even at a young age, he’d been great at getting Blooky and Maddy to do things that were fun- at any rate, more fun than sticking around at the farm.

So, if he was able to do all that, he can at least keep a simple conversation going with Papyrus.

“So, darling! What have you been up to lately? Anything fun?” Mettaton props his chin up on his hand, smiling at Papyrus.

Papyrus’s cheek bones redden ever-so-slightly- he’d probably thought the conversation was over by then.

Plus, Mettaton knows how disarming one of his smiles can be.

“Oh! Well! I!” Papyrus stammers, poking at his food with his chopsticks. He seems to be trying to think of something to say- at least that’s what Mettaton assumes, since he keeps starting to say something (“I, uh, went to- I ate-“) and stopping.

“Take your time, gorgeous.” Mettaton reassures him, “Would you mind passing me the soy sauce, by the way?”

“O-of course I would, Mettaton! Well! I wouldn’t mind passing you the soy sauce- I mean, I would! I just- I would love to pass you the soy sauce.” Papyrus practically shoves the soy sauce into Mettaton’s hands, in an effort to explain himself. 

It nearly spills on him- thankfully, the cap is on tight. 

If it had, Mettaton probably wouldn’t be very pleasant for the rest of the evening. His top wasn’t exactly cheap.

“Anyways! Yesterday, I, erm… saw a movie of yours on TV! It was  _ Mettaton: The Robot Who Actually COULD Love: Part Six. _ ” Papyrus says suddenly, looking relieved he found a topic of conversation, “It was very moving! It brought tears to the eye sockets- not my eye sockets, of course! No, my eye sockets were dry, of course, because I am notoriously very tough! Which apparently means you’re not supposed to cry! I think.”

Mettaton chuckles. “Oh, don’t worry, darling. I, too, am very moved by myself. But, enough about me- let’s hear about you. If I recall correctly, you enjoy cooking, right?”

“You do recall correctly!” Papyrus grins, “I do love to cook. It’s a very fun thing to- and productive, too! After all, meals are the most important thing of the day!”

“They are- besides makeup, of course. Tell me, though, what type of things do you like to cook?” Mettaton takes a sip of his drink- it seems Papyrus is more at ease now. 

“Nyeh heh heh! Well, what don’t I like to cook? Well, actually, that’s easy- I don’t like to cook hamburgers. Or fries.” Papyrus responds, squinting his eyes annoyedly at the mention of the two latter foods.

“Oh? Why ever not? I find hamburgers to be quite delicious, if I do say so myself- well, my glamburgers are, at any rate. I made sure of that.” Mettaton says proudly- he briefly thinks about calling up Burgerpants and asking him to have some glamburgers delivered to his house just so he can admire them, before deciding against this- he doesn’t want to have to hear Burgerpants’s voice right now.

“While your glamburgers are very admirable- I’ve heard many great things about them!- I’m just not a fan of grease in general. Back in the Underground, my brother used to go to this place called Grillby’s- the food there was filled with grease! I could have slicked my non-existent hair back with the thickness of grease that just one burger from there contained!” Papyrus explains passionately.

Mettaton can’t help it- he laughs. 

“Oh, that’s funny, darling! Has anyone ever told you that you have a great sense of humor?”

Papyrus straightens proudly. “No! But I do pride myself on being quite hilarious! Nyeh heh heh!”

Oh. Well.

“Anyhow! I do enjoy cooking spaghetti- anything pasta-related is an A in my book! If I were to have a book on grading foods, that is.” Papyrus continues.

“Oh- is spaghetti your favorite food, darling?”

Papyrus shakes his head. “Oh, no, I’ve never actually had the spaghetti before. I just cook it for everyone else! That’s what is so fun about cooking- sharing the food you’ve cooked with your friends! Seeing their faces scrunch up into most passionate expressions as they take a bite, refusing to have anymore out of such respect for the delicacies you have created… cooking truly is worth it!”

Mettaton ponders that for a second. He’s never had his face scrunch up out of passion for food- that doesn’t exactly sound like something anyone does. But he won’t question it, even if he is dubious.

“Uh huh,” Mettaton raises an eyebrow, ever-so-slightly-doubtfully, “Well, I agree with you on that front. I mean, that’s the best thing about performing for me. Not just doing it for myself, but for the enjoyment of others. Although… if spaghetti isn’t your favorite food, what is?”

Papyrus hesitates, his face going blank. “Um… well…” he trails off, looking puzzled.

Is it really that hard to think of a favorite food, Mettaton wonders? It’s not as if he’s asking him to list the elements, or name every single sale currently going on at the mall- an easy question for Mettaton to answer, but apparently and surprisingly, not an easy question for everyone else. 

“I know it’s a pretty tough question…” Mettaton says, doing his best to patiently wait for Papyrus to think of something.

“Well! The question itself wasn’t all that tough! It’s just more an issue of me not being able to think of a food that I particularly like. Ask me later!” Papyrus gives a little self-satisfactory nod, as if deeming the matter solved, “Anyways! Do you enjoy cooking, Mettaton? Because I- wait. You… you have your own cooking show. Of course you enjoy cooking! What was I thinking??? I must look like such a fake fan to you!!!”

Mettaton gently places a hand on Papyrus’s shoulder, in an attempt to pacify his fretting. “Don’t be silly, darling. I mean, you’re right about that- I do, of course, have my own cooking show- but I won’t have you speaking any of that ‘fan talk.’ It’s not as if I expect all of my fans to watch every single thing I’m in ever.”

(Actually, Mettaton does, but it doesn’t seem best to advertise that right about now. Besides, even if some of his fans aren’t up-to-date on everything he’s been in, it doesn’t make them any less of a fan. Although, who wouldn’t want to watch anything ever involving him in some sort of way, shape, or form? He’s amazingly stunning in literally anything ever!)

“I do enjoy cooking, by the way. I don’t do it much except for when I’m on the show, but when I do, it’s always a fabulously fun time. Besides, it never hurts to add a little sparkle of sparktacularness to everything! I made sure of that with my restaurant.” Mettaton recounts, flipping his hair- there’s no real reason for the hair-flippage, he just hasn’t done anything dramatic in a while.

“That sounds amazing, Mettaton! I, for one, enjoy putting my own spin on food too! Such as lighting it on fire! Although that’s more Undyne’s doing than mine, most of the time.”

Mettaton’s eyes light up- now he’s especially interested. “Ooh, fire? That sounds daring, darling! Daringly dramatic! Maybe I should dedicate the next episode of  _ Cooking With a Killer Robot _ to dishes that are more  _ flambé. _ ” Just at the thought of it, Mettaton’s getting more and more excited, “I can picture it now- perhaps we can bring some contestants onto the show, and whoever is able to set their dish on fire the fastest gets to save me from an elaborately high tower, which I’ll rest atop of! Ooh, it could be a musical!”

“Wowie! I would definitely tune in to watch that, Mettaton! It sounds so exciting! Perhaps you could add some dangerous traps and spikes inside the tower as well, that the contestant must get past in order to save you!” Papyrus suggests excitedly.

“Ooh! That’s a magnificent idea, Papyrus! I’d have to wear an elaborate fairytale gown, of course- maybe my old one from my performance with Frisk would do.” Mettaton mutters, deep in thought.

“HEY!” Undyne yells, slamming her fist on the table and startling the two, “PUNKS! You’re all done with your food, right???”

It takes Mettaton a moment to get over the initial shock from being… well, shocked at Undyne’s interrupting them so loudly. “Just about, darling- thanks for so considerately interrupting our conversation, by the way.”

“You’re welcome, robobitch!” Undyne grins at him, “Anyways, Alph and I are pretty much done, too. You know what that means???”

“That it’s time for us to pay the check like orderly adults???” Papyrus asks.

“NOPE! IT’S TIME FOR KARAOKE!!!” Undyne declares, standing up on the table.

Mettaton grins- this is the part of the evening he’d really been looking forward to. In one dramatic leap, he gets up on the table as well, striking a pose.

“OHHHH YESSS! Get ready to sing your hearts out, darlings! And to get a very impressive performance from yours truly!”

“G-guys, youreallyneedtogetdownfromthetableortheymightkickusout.” Alphys whispers urgently, glancing nervously at the waitstaff.

“Oh, right! Sorry, babe.” Undyne gives a sheepish laugh, stepping down from the table.

“Well, I’m not. That was quite the magnificent moment.” Mettaton gracefully gets down from the table as well- he never misses out on the chance to make a scene.

And he’s certainly going to make one at karaoke- it’s going to be stellar.

***

“F-fighting evil by moonlight… wiiining love by d-daylight…” Alphys stammers nervously into her microphone.

Okay, maybe it’s not so stellar.

It’s not Alphys’s voice- it’s more of her song choice. It’s so weeb-y.

There’s also the fact that Mettaton is just aching to go.

They’ve only arrived about twenty-ish minutes ago, and Mettaton is already getting impatient. Can he be blamed? He’s a performer! The stage calls to him!

Even if it’s not so much a stage and more a heightened slab of floor. Still, though, Mettaton can make anything do- after all, that was how he had to do it back in Waterfall.

The place that they’re in is actually not too bad for a karaoke place- they have their own private room, and it’s pretty well-decorated, with plush seating and dim, purple lighting. There’s even a food and drinks menu- they’d all decided to forgo it, though, since they’d all just eaten. 

It had taken them a bit to get settled in, and for Alphys to locate the anime-type songs on the karaoke machine, which Mettaton desperately wishes didn’t exist.

However, looking at his best friend singing, Mettaton’s reminded of how far she’s come. Everyone needs a little encouragement at times- and Mettaton’s determined to give her some.

“YES, ALPHYS! SING THAT TRASHY GARBAGE!!!” Mettaton shouts, clapping his hands.

“YEAH! YOU GO, BABE!!!” Undyne joins in, standing up from her seat.

“YES, ALPHYS! THE GREAT PAPYRUS BELIEVES IN YOU!!!” Papyrus yells happily.

Mettaton can see the shift in Alphys’s expression, from a look of pure anxiety-filled not-wanting-to-be-here to one of slowly but surely gained confidence.

“She is the one named Sailooooooooorrrrr…” Alphys sings, her voice ever-so-slightly less wavering and nervous than before.

As Alphys sings, they all encourage her more- until Alphys is practically screaming the lyrics, a big smile on her face.

“SHE IS THE ONE NAMED SAILOR MOON! SHE IS THE ONE NAMED SAILOR MOON! SHE IS THE ONE… SAILOR MOON!!!” Alphys yells into the microphone, and then proceeds to nearly collapse on the floor, having to catch herself against the karaoke machine.

“OhmygodIcan’tbelieveIjustdidthat.” Alphys pants, looking surprised at herself.

‘And you did it fabulously, too! Amazing job, Alphy!” Mettaton exclaims, standing up to give her a quick hug, before sitting back down. 

“Yeah! You killed it!!!” Undyne runs over and practically tackles Alphys, swooping her up in her arms.

“I agree! You were very great up there, Alphys! I’ve never heard you sound so passionate!”

“T-thanks, guys! And yeah, I’m, uh, really passionate about the shojo genre.” Alphys mutters, a small smile on her face. 

“Well! I suppose it’s my turn, then!” Mettaton says, and gets up from his seat with a little flounce, making his way towards the karaoke machine, “Get ready for me to rock your world, darlings.”

“Oh, no you don’t!” Undyne promptly plops Alphys down into her seat, rushing towards the karaoke machine and blocking it with her body. 

Mettaton is practically forced to stop in his tracks. Is Undyne seriously about to deprive him of his turn to shine? If so, she doesn’t know what’s about to hit her. A high-heeled boot, most likely.

“Is there a problem, darling?” Mettaton asks, his voice practically dripping with venom- Undyne better not try and pull anything. 

“Hell yeah there is! You can’t sing one of your songs, dumbass!” Undyne crosses her arms, giving Mettaton a look that plainly states whatever she’s saying should be obvious.

“Excuse me?” Mettaton isn’t even that angry now- he’s more confused than angry, honestly.

“You heard me, dingus! You’re not allowed to sing one of your own MTT songs or whatever- it’s karaoke rules!”

“My songs are on there?” Mettaton asks, craning his neck to get a good look at the karaoke machine- sure enough, one of his singles is listed.

Mettaton feels like he’s flying. One of his songs is on the karaoke machine? Sure, it’s not exactly something every star looks forward to, and some might consider it a bit silly to get excited over considering how famous he’s becoming, but still- the thought of people- monsters  _ and  _ humans- singing one of his songs, just as he had sung the songs of humans for years in Waterfall makes his heart soar.

“Yeah, they are! But you’re not about to sing one of them, since that’s not fair! Sing something else!” Undyne insists with a toothy grin, and finally lets up, sitting back down next to Alphys.

Mettaton smirks. “Oh, darling, if you think all I can perform is my own material, then you’re mistaken. I can sing anything.” Mettaton turns to the machine, scrolling down the list of songs.

“We’ll see about that!” Undyne snorts, leaning back in her seat. 

“Oh, you will.” Mettaton says, mostly to himself, having finally picked out a song. He selects it, and quickly runs to the faux-stage, his back turned to the other three.

The music starts. Mettaton whirls around to face them, swinging his hips to the beat.

“ _ Oh baby, baby. Oh baby, baby.”  _ Mettaton sings into the microphone, his voice carrying throughout the room.

“ _ Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know? That something wasn’t right here?”  _ Mettaton already knows the song by heart- it’s a classic to him. He doesn’t look at the screen, and simply dances with ease, smiling as he does so.

“ _ Show me, how you want it to be. Tell me, baby, ‘cause I need to know now, oh because! My loneliness is killing me! And I! I must confess, I still believeeee- still believe! When I’m not with you I lose my mind- give me a sign! Hit me, baby, one more time!” _

As Mettaton continues to sing, he can’t help but feel the sensation he always gets whenever he performs. Like he’s been freed, in a sense, like he has wings and is free to go wherever he pleases. And even now, he feels like this, in karaoke- only this time, it has an element of playfulness to it, simply singing and dancing around the room for the fun of it. 

Papyrus is gawking at him- then again, Papyrus probably never would’ve thought he’d be able to see Mettaton perform live, though.

“W-Whoo!” Alphys cheers- well, whoops- clapping her hands together excitedly, as Mettaton twirls around the room. Even Undyne seems to be enjoying her performance, judging from the fact that she’s now joined in on Alphys’s cheering.

“ _ Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know? Oh pretty baby, I shouldn’t have left you gooooo!” _

As Mettaton sings the chorus a second time, Undyne ends up pulling Alphys up out of her seat and holds her above her head, simultaneously supplexing and spinning her around.

Papyrus looks as if he’s on the edge of his seat, starstruck.

“ _ Hit me, baby one, more time!!” _ And with that, Mettaton strikes a pose- and hits the high note perfectly, of course- the music fading out.

Immediately, everyone in the room begins to clap- Alphys runs over to him and hugs him- it’s mostly just her wrapping her little arms around his legs, but Mettaton leans down to hug her back.

“That was great, MTT!” Alphys cheers.

“Thank you, Alphys dear- and I know.” Mettaton smiles- yes, he’s definitely glad he said yes to going out tonight.

“So you proved me wrong, jackass!! Didn’t think you had it in you!” Undyne grins at him.

“What, to perform? You do realize that’s my entire career, right?” Mettaton raises an eyebrow at you.

“What? Of course I know you can sing and all that! I just thought you’d be too prissy to do any song that wasn’t yours.” Undyne clarifies, and Mettaton can’t help but roll his eyes.

“Well, clearly not. I-“

Suddenly, Papyrus stands up from his seat, vigorously clapping his hands together.

“WOWIE, METTATON!!! THAT WAS AMAZING!!! YOUR- YOUR DANCING AND YOUR SINGING AND-“

Mettaton can’t help but smile. “Thank you, darling. I do try. Why don’t you go up now? I don’t think you’ve had a turn yet.”

Immediately, Papyrus falters. “Erm, no thank you! The Great Papyrus won’t be singing tonight, if you all don’t mind.”

Undyne groans. “Aww, what?! Paps, the whole point of karaoke is making a total jackass out of yourself in front of your friends!!!”

“Oh, no, not me- I was fabulous, and you know it.” Mettaton interrupts.

Undyne rolls her eyes. “Okay, whatever- so besides the primadonna here, it’s, like, mandatory for you to sing your soul out! No matter HOW BAD YOU SOUND!!! YOU HAVE TO SHOW EVERYONE WHAT YOU’VE GOT!!! NGAAAAHHH!!!”

“Well… I simply do not feel very up to performing right now. I ate a lot at dinner, and I don’t think it would be wise to sing very loudly in a microphone and dance around after I just ate- not that I’m bad at any of those things! Or that I don’t want to! I just! Simply! Do not exactly want to right now!”

Undyne looks disappointed, but it’s clear she’s not going to push it. “Alright, Paps, I’ll respect that. Guess I’ll go now- GET READY FOR YOUR MINDS TO BE BLOWN, PUNKS!!!”

Undyne steps up to the machine, selects, her song, and brings the microphone to her lips.

“TWO TRUCKS-“

“OHHHH YESSSSS!”

***

  
  


“Well, that was fun, wasn’t it?” Mettaton smiles at Alphys- they’re all standing outside now, about to go their separate ways home.

“Y-yeah, it was- except for when the guy who owned the place, uh, came over.” Alphys nods.

“I can’t believe someone filed a noise complain on us. So rude.” Mettaton huffs, rolling his eyes.

“I think it was more, uh, what you guys were singing about, and, uh, less about the noise-“

“Well, bye, Alphys! Call me tomorrow, okay? I’m sure I’ll have some juicy gossip to tell you by then.” Mettaton swoops down gracefully and hugs Alphys.

“Y-you always do.” Alphys snickers, hugging him back. The two separate, and wave- Undyne’s way of saying goodbye to him is- once again- giving him a big grin and yelling, “GOODBYE, ASSHAT!”

“BYE-BYE, FISHFACE!” Mettaton gives her a fake smile and waves as well, as Alphys and Undyne walk off.

Mettaton turns around, only to be greeted by Papyrus standing behind him nervously. 

“Oh! Darling, you almost gave me a fright there.” Mettaton chuckles, looking at the tall skeleton.

“My apologies, Mettaton! I just wanted to say goodbye to you before I left, is all!” Papyrus says.

“Oh! How sweet of you. Well, I had a nice time tonight, darling- it was lovely to get to know you more.” Mettaton smiles at Papyrus, who visibly brightens.

“Thank you! I was very glad to be able to have a cool friend hangout with you as well! Nyeh heh heh!” 

The two stand there under the night sky for a moment, lingering. Mettaton isn’t quite sure of what to say, exactly. 

Finally, Mettaton breaks the silence. “Well, goodbye darling! It was nice to see you again- until next time!” He blows Papyrus a quick kiss, and walks off to his own car.

Unbeknownst to him, he’s just made a certain skeleton’s night.

“Next time? Wowie!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! Ta daaa! Here’s the next chapter.  
> I wanted to write the gang going out and having fun- so i decided to give them a night on the town! Papyrus and Mettaton are finally getting to know each other better.
> 
> The song Alphys sang was the Sailor Moon theme song, the song Mettaton sang was Hit Me Baby One More Time by Britney Spears, and the song Undyne sang was Two Trucks- the reason I included that one was because someone did a hilarious mashup with it with Death by Glamour.
> 
> That’s all for now! Until the next chapter! Don’t forget to comment and kudos if you enjoyed this chapter :)


	6. Ketchup, Lava Lamps, and Sparkly Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus goes grocery shopping with Sans, and Mettaton bakes with Napstablook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope y’all enjoy this chapter! Kudos and comment if you do!

“Good morning, brother!” Papyrus says cheerfully, placing a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of Sans.

It is currently eight in the morning- how late it already is! Thankfully, Papyrus has managed to get his sleep schedule back on track- all it took was a little time and effort, both of which Papyrus has heaping amounts of.

“Morning, bro.” Sans yawns, sitting down in his chair and stretching. While, for Papyrus, eight in the morning is late- because it is!- for Sans, it’s actually quite early.

“Congratulations, Sans! You’re up in record time!” Papyrus smiles proudly at his brother- while he doesn’t exactly know why Sans is up early, it’s a welcome change! As long as Sans is improving on certain lazy habits and becoming happier, Papyrus won’t question it. 

“Thanks, Paps. I have to cover a shift at three, so, yeah,” Sans shrugs nonchalantly, “Also have a few errands to run, too. Toriel wanted me to grab some things for her at the store- apparently the kid used all their toilet paper to help out some Woshua down the street.”

For a split second, Papyrus falters. It’s not as if he’s continuously forgetting that Sans has a job, it’s just a bit… jarring- surprising, maybe- to see his brother so busy, and not have much plans himself.

It’s no trouble, though! The Great Papyrus makes his own busy-ness! There’s always plenty to do, if you just look hard enough!

For example, yesterday he’d tested the fire alarms to see if they’d worked- upon finding out that they had, he’d spent a good hour trying to turn the alarm off.

Time well spent, in Papyrus’s opinion! Even if it left him with a slight headache afterwards. 

“Well, you’re going to need energy to do that, Sans! Eat your breakfast! It’s made with extra bone-strengthening properties!”

Sans raises a brow bone. “Y’mean that you accidentally poured the whole carton of milk in when you were making the eggs?”

Papyrus stomps his foot in frustration. “Sans!! While you’re right, stop using your weird time-and-space clairvoyance to sneak a peek at my cooking process!!!”

“‘Kay,” Is Sans’s simple response, as he eats a forkful of scrambled eggs, “It’s, uh, pretty good, bro- these eggs are just spine.” 

(While his facial expression stays the same, his eye socket twitches ever so slightly as he swallows the food- Papyrus decides to chalk it up as him barely being able to contain his excitement at eating such amazing food!) 

“SANS!!!” Papyrus groans, currently in the process of washing the dishes he’d used to make the food, “That was awful! It’s too early in the morning to be hearing such terribleness!”

“Alright, alright, I’m just having some skele-fun with you,” Sans snickers, “Anyways. How was last night? You, Alphys and Undyne went downtown, right?”

“Correct! Except not correct at all! Mettaton ended up coming, as well!” Papyrus states, glancing at Sans out of the corner of his eye sockets to see his reaction- if someone had told him that they were hanging out with Mettaton, he would nearly jump out of his seat in shock.

Sans, however, doesn’t do this- instead, he keeps the same expression he always does, taking a bite of bacon. “Mettaton again, huh?”

Papyrus has to suppress his disappointment at Sans’s lack of reaction- then again, Sans doesn’t react to things very much. He also has to consider the fact that Sans knows he’s hung around Mettaton once before, so if anything, the reveal might have lost any cool shock factor it had!

“Yes, again! Can you believe it, Sans??? I’ve run into Mettaton a total of three times now!”

“Three?”

Papyrus smacks his forehead. How could he have forgotten to tell Sans about their second encounter? “How could I have forgotten??? We ran into each other outside of a coffee shop a few days ago! We had a very nice, cool friend chat- he even followed me on Instagram!”

“That’s pretty cool, Paps. So what, you guys ran into him last night?” Sans asks, having somehow procured ketchup out of nowhere, and splattering it on his eggs. Papyrus doesn’t even comment on this, however- he’s too wrapped up in telling Sans about his cool friend hangouts!

“Well, no- Alphys ended up inviting him, I think. After all, they are best friends! And she is his creator, I suppose.” Papyrus shrugs, now moving onto drying the dishes- an even more daunting task.

“Yeah- I guess she knows him better than ghost.” Sans chuckles through a mouthful of awful ketchup-covered scrambled eggs.

“Sans!!! That one… doesn’t even make sense???” What do ghosts have to do with anything??? Maybe his brother is running out of material- or he’s just simply too lazy to make a sense-making pun. 

“Guess it’s a thinker. What did you guys all end up doing?” Sans leans back in his chair, finishing his last strip of bacon.

“Well, we went to dinner, and then we went to do karaoke afterwards! It was all very great! I would have brought you leftovers, except we left so quickly to karaoke that I wasn’t able to bring you a non-canine involved bag,” Papyrus says, “It was worth it, though! The Great Papyrus proclaims karaoke to be very fun!”

“Sounds like you all had a good time.”

“We did! Even doctor Alphys sang something! I think she liked it- after all, we did encourage her to the best of our abilities! And I think Mettaton liked it too! His performance was the most amazing of them all! Which is to be expected, of course- after all, he is one of the biggest stars that there is! If you’re not counting the Sun, that is.”

Papyrus thinks back to the robot’s performance- he’d been in such awe of Mettaton. Watching the robot sing and dance with such confidence and skill right in front of him- he’d been glued to his seat. It was safe to say that even Undyne couldn’t deny the talent and star power Mettaton had after that performance.

“Yeah? Sounds like you managed to get free front-row seats to his concert, Paps. Good job.” Sans grins, giving his brother a lazy thumbs up. 

“I’ll have you know it was nothing like one of his concerts! Well, it was, except he didn’t sing any of his original songs. Undyne made him sing something else. I can’t remember the name of what he sang, but it involved a lot of dancing and asking someone to hit him.” Papyrus can’t even remember the lyrics that well- at the time, he’d been too absorbed in, well, watching Mettaton perform, to the extent that he can’t quite remember the song title right now. It’s no matter! He can just ask Mettaton the next time he sees him.

(The next time!!! After Mettaton had said that to him, Papyrus had nearly exploded from happiness- in a cool-guy way, of course. Although, now that he thinks about it, it isn’t all that unusual that they’d see each other again for another cool friend hangout- after all, Mettaton is best friends, with Alphys, who is currently in a very loving relationship with Undyne, who is very cool best friends with Papyrus himself!)

“Sounds about right. What’d you sing?”

“Erm… well, I didn’t sing anything! I was simply too… full… from my dinner, that I decided singing and dancing probably wasn’t??? The best thing to do???” Papyrus rubs the back of his neck nervously.

He doesn’t like lying to anyone- honesty is the best policy!- especially his brother. But the real reason why he didn’t want to sing is too embarrassing.

In all honesty, he hadn’t sung because he had been afraid of messing up in front of Mettaton. While they’re most definitely cool friends now, being in Mettaton’s presence is still a little shocking, especially when it’s in an environment that requires him to sing and dance- in front of the person who’s the best at singing and dancing! That person being Mettaton! Maybe if Mettaton hadn’t been there, he would have been fine- he’s belted out the lyrics to many songs with Undyne before! And yet, if Mettaton hadn’t been there, the night would have been twenty-five percent less cool and fun!

(The remaining seventy-five percent, being, of course, him, Undyne, and Alphys.)

In the moment, Papyrus had only been able to think about the what-ifs- what if he had stumbled over his words, or over his own two feet??? How embarrassing that would have been! What if Mettaton had then proceeded to secretly judge him, thus ending any chance of them continuing their cool-friendship???

Of course, none of this had ended up happening, since Papyrus didn’t sing a song. Which was exactly what he was going for!!! So the night counts as a success!!!

Not making a fool out of himself in front of Mettaton wasn’t the only success of the night, however- another success was getting to know the robot himself! While Papyrus had been a little nervous going into the night, knowing Mettaton would be there, by the end of it, they’d actually had a very pleasant and non-nervousy conversation! Mettaton had been so nice to him- now, when Papyrus thinks of potentially meeting Mettaton again- which is going to happen, according to Mettaton!!!- he doesn’t feel nearly as nervous! After all, they’ve now reached cool friendship status, haven’t they???

“-bro?” 

Papyrus startles, having been snapped out of his thoughts of the night before. “Yes, brother???”

Sans gives him a sideways look. “Uh, I was just gonna ask if you wanted to pick up the toilet paper for Tori and the kid with me.”

Papyrus thinks of the day ahead of him, something he often finds himself doing now. It’s essentially what he’s been doing for some time now- not that he minds!!! After all, if he doesn’t clean the house meticulously and job hunt, who else will?

“You sure? I could really use the extra help, bro- grocery shopping’s your thing, not mine. You always know where all the good stuff is.”

There’s a pause, the two brothers sharing a look. Sans sounds completely casually, but there’s a certain look in his eye sockets- not a mean one, by any means- pun NOT intended- but a sort of knowing one.

Papyrus knows Sans is making it out like he’s the one who needs help, as he usually does whenever he’s feeling lazy- but then why does it feel like Sans is the one who’s really helping him out? 

(Maybe it’s because they both have a shared yet unspoken understanding, that Papyrus truly doesn’t have much to do during the days, so Sans is giving him an opportunity to do something other than what he usually does, a way to get out of the house- besides, they both know grocery shopping isn’t hard, mostly due to the fact that there are signs indicating where everything is-)

“...Well, alright, Sans! I’m happy to help you out with your helping out of Toriel and Frisk! Someone needs to make sure you don’t accidentally buy solely ketchup instead of cleaning supplies and food again!!!”

Sans grins. “I can’t help it, bro- the ketchup calls to me. You wanna drive us there?”

“Of course I do, Sans! After all, that awful tricycle of yours wouldn’t be able to carry us both!” Papyrus scoffs, picking up the car keys from their hook on the wall- the hook in question is attached to a custom-made wood carving of a single bone- a true work of art!. 

“Hey, I’ll take that as a condiment. Meet you in the car.” Sans says, and before Papyrus can turn around to tell him just how terrible that pun was- very!- he’s already gone.

Papyrus sighs. While grocery shopping isn’t all that different from his usual routine, seeing as it’s a part of it, at least he’ll get to spend some time with his brother- he feels like he hardly sees Sans anymore, what with his new job and all. Not to say that Papyrus isn’t very proud of him! Because he is! It’s just that Sans always seems to be busy nowadays, while Papyrus remains unbusy.

Well, all less-than-happy thoughts aside! It’ll surely be nice to get out of the house again, and to see Frisk and Toriel as well. While they meet up often, it seems that the two are usually busy too, Toriel teaching at school and Frisk, well… going to school.

Papyrus takes a deep breath, and puffs out his chest, as one does when they’re going to embark on a great quest- in this case, the quest being preventing Sans from spending their savings on bottles after bottles of ketchup.

Here he goes!

***

“I-I don’t understand- how could you do this to him?! He had a whole life ahead of him, and you just- you just-!”

Mettaton glares at the man on the floor under him. With a simple flick, he wipes off the smear of blood resting on his cheek.

“I don’t know what you expected, honestly- we all knew this would end up happening. I’ve fought for so long to get where I am- do you understand that? And I wasn’t about to let some man who didn’t know when to mind his own business ruin that.” With every word, Mettaton takes one step closer to him, the sound of his high-heels echoing on the floor, bloodstained dress and coat swishing delicately as he does so.

“You- you won’t get away with this! I’ll- I’ll tell everyone what you did today! I’ll tell everyone what I just saw you do!” The man threatens, scrambling backwards on his hands and feet.

Mettaton laughs- a humorless laugh, one that’s just… heartless. “Do you really think threats are going to work on me? Me?! Didn’t you just see what I did to him back there? And here you are, threatening me- sorry to burst your bubble, love, but that won’t work.”

“You… you won’t get away with this!” The man forces out through grit teeth, a terrified yet defiant look in his eyes.

Mettaton simply smiles. “Oh, honey,” he says, leaning down and forcefully taking the man’s chin in between his thumb and index finger with a jerk, “You don’t know what I’m capable of.”

“CUT!”

Immediately, Mettaton and the man- Mettaton may have possibly blanked out on his name- stand up, straightening themselves out.

“Great job, you guys. I don’t really have any notes- there may have been an issue with the lighting, though, so we might have to reshoot it tomorrow.” The director says, walking towards them.

To anyone else, this might have been an annoyance, but to Mettaton, he’s happy to do it. 

He’s on the set of his newest soon-to-premiere TV show- starring him, of course, as the fabulously morally gray lead. And, considering this is a project that revolves around him- as most of what he does usually is- if there’s an issue with something as small as the lighting, he;s willing to reshoot for hours just to make sure the scene turns out perfect. After all, Mettaton doesn’t tolerate anything less than perfection- why would anyone?

“Fabulous! We’re shooting the gala scene next, right? Let me go tell wardrobe-“

Before Mettaton can finish his sentence, his director shakes his head.

“Nope. They’re closing the studio down early today so they can fix some problem with the water pipes, so that’s a wrap for today.” 

Mettaton frowns. Today was supposed to be a full day of shooting- and now, apparently, it isn’t going to be, because the studio owners couldn’t do maintenance before they started shooting. 

This is bound to set them back a couple of days- something Mettaton isn’t happy about. Sure, she. It comes to something like the lighting, Mettaton is more than happy to reshoot- but the piping doesn’t even have anything to do with his show!

Frustrated, Mettaton dials his manager’s number.

His manager- Clarissa- is probably the most no-nonsense person Mettaton’s ever met. To put it lightly, she doesn’t take any shit- which makes it great when it comes to her getting Mettaton certain roles.

Mettaton had been hesitant to hire her in the first place- after all, in the Underground, he’d simply managed himself. But on the surface, everything had been so different- for one thing, he clearly wasn’t the only person starring in movies and films and concerts. So, just to get a head start, Mettaton had brought Clarissa onto his team- and she’d done wonders, getting him actual parts in shows and movies- and not those parts where you just stand in the background and react- no, actual big and prominent parts. 

Of course, now that Mettaton is big enough to star in his own MTT Brand projects, as he used to, he only really uses Clarissa for his public image and to sort out all of his offers. In a way, she sort of doubles as a publicist- not that Mettaton really needs any help in that arena. 

The phone rings for a second or two. Mettaton rolls his eyes- she could stand to be a little faster on the phone, considering the fact that he’s the one paying her. 

Finally, Clarissa picks up. “What is it? I’ve got a million and one things to sort out right now, so this better not be a waste of my time.”

Normally, Mettaton wouldn’t let anyone speak to him like that, especially if they’re working on his dime. However, Clarissa brings him in so many offers that Mettaton decides to let it slide- at least she’s earning her pay.

“They stopped filming because of some piping issue, and it was supposed to be a full day today. Do I have anything else lined up today?” Mettaton asks, making his way off set and into wardrobe.

“Isn’t that more of a question for your PA? Did you meet her, by the way? That was supposed to be a week ago, so if you haven’t-“

Mettaton smacks his forehead. Ugh, June- he keeps forgetting she exists! Which means that he constantly forgets to tell her what time he’s filming and when to come on set- although she should know that, considering she’s supposed to be knowing his entire schedule.

“Yes, I met her. But aren’t you the one who goes over all of my offers? Shouldn’t you be able to, like, get me another offer? Something that I can preferably do today? Darling, you just told me that you have a million things to sort out- are you telling me that out of all of those millions of things, there’s not one that I can do today?”

He can hear Clarissa’s sigh of frustration. “Listen- you already have a ton of things lined up. You were already booked for today, so all the offers you got for today were already declined, unless you want to go to some person’s party or perform at an outlet. If today was supposed to be a full day and now it’s not because of wires-“

“Pipes.” Mettaton cuts in, indignantly.

“-pipes- do I look like I care about pipes? Or that this is a question for me? If you want me to actually do my job like you’re telling me to do, you’d better not keep calling me every time something doesn’t go your way. If you’ve got a problem, take it up with the people doing the piping.”

Seriously?! What good is Clarissa if she can’t even get him something else to do today?!

“Well, the people fixing the pipes can go shove them up their-!“ Mettaton fumes, before being cut off by Clarissa hanging up on him.

For a second, Mettaton has the urge to throw one of his patented MTT Brand Tantrums- or, as Maddy would have called them, “hissy fits”- before realizing that he’s in the middle of wardrobe.

“Ugh,” Mettaton groans, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair. Really, he doesn’t know why he’s so upset- most would be glad to get hours off and still get paid. Yet, with hours off, Mettaton can’t imagine wanting to do anything more than, well, what he does best- which is his job.

Well. It’s not as if his job is the only thing he ever wants to do- now that he suddenly has the rest of the day off, the possibilities of things to do are limitless. He could go to the mall, reserve a studio to dance in, go to the spa...

But, what he really wants to do is complain some more. And, objectively the best person to whine to is your best friend.

So, Mettaton calls Alphys.

Alphys picks up on the third ring. “Hello?”

Immediately, Mettaton drapes himself in a chair, getting into his dramatically-complaining pose. “Ugh, Alphys, you will not believe what’s happened today.”

“What happened now?” Alphys snorts.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what happened now.” Mettaton says, and begins to go into detail about his day so far- really, there’s not much to tell, but for someone as dramatic as him, there’s always a way to make the most mundane of stories interesting.

“Uh, I guess that’s pretty annoying? It’s, um, pretty cool that you basically have a free day now, though! What are you going to, uh, do with it?” Alphys asks.

“Well… I was hoping we could hang out? I know we just saw each other yesterday, but honestly, everyone’s lives could use a little more me- and my life could use a little more Alphys right now, too.” Mettaton says- in the past, he hadn’t exactly let Alphys know how much he appreciated her. As of now, he tries to do so whenever he can, because he really does appreciate Alphys- after all, without her, he wouldn’t be himself, and he’d be short of a best friend.

“A-Aw! That’s really sweet, MTT! I, uh, don’t know if I can, though.” Alphys says apologetically- in the background, Mettaton can make out something falling to the ground.

“What?! Oh, Alphys, come on, I promise it’ll be fun! When have we ever not had fun together?” Mettaton begs.

“Uh, there was that time where you tried to pierce my lip for me so I could look more, uh, c-cool for my date with Undyne, and we had to go to the hospital b-because you somehow managed to pierce through my top and bottom lips???”

“I don’t even recall that taking place. But for the record, if you hadn’t been moving around so much, I’m sure I could have done a fabulous job— plus, I was with you the whole time in the hospital. They even gave you a lollipop.” Mettaton recalls- that really had been quite the eventful day,

“Y-yeah, they did. I couldn’t taste it, though, since they basically had to numb my whole mouth just to get the piercing out safely.” 

“Aaaaallllphyyyy, why can’t we go do something? We can even watch that dreadful show of yours- Bark Bark Smoochy Beauty, or whatever. Pleeeeeease?” Mettaton whines.

“I-It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you! That actually sounds really fun- also, it’s Mew Mew Kissy Cutie and you know it- but I’m at work right now, and I don’t get out until eight.” Alphys explains sheepishly.

Mettaton sighs. He really was looking forward to hanging out with Alphys, even though he’d technically only came up with the concept of doing so today a few minutes ago.

“Years from now, when you’re spreading my dust at my funeral, you’ll regret this very moment- the moment where you chose to do your boring science-y job over your near-and-dear best friend!” Mettaton exclaims dramatically, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to recover from this!”

Alphys laughs. “O-okay, sure- you’re so dramatic sometimes.”

“All the time.” Mettaton corrects with a smirk.

“All the time,” Alphys agrees, “Um, but didn’t you say that you were going to hang out with y-your cousin soon? Why don’t you go see them today? I think they might, uh, appreciate that!”

Mettaton pauses. That does actually sound like fun- and while their plans technically weren’t supposed to be today, he’s sure Blooky won’t mind!

“Alphys, darling, you’re a genius! I have to go text Blooky- bye, darling!” Mettaton says, and promptly hangs up, opening up his messages.

*Blooky! I know that I said we could bake after we next went to the studio, but do you mind if we do it today?  
*They’ve given pretty much everyone on set the day off because of maintenance, so I just figured that if you’re not doing anything, we could meet up today! I’d love to see my darling cousin, after all.

*ohh……. that sounds great Mettaton……  
*sorry if i’m being too enthusiastic………..  
*oh no……..

*Don’t worry, Blooky, you’re not doing anything wrong. I’m excited too!  
*It’s going to be a fabulous time!  
*Do you want to bake at my place or yours?

*if it’s okay, i think it would be better if we could bake at my place……  
*sorry if I’m inconveniencing you….. we can bake at your house if you want to…..

*You’re not inconveniencing me in the slightest, Blooky! I’ll head over to your house in a bit.

And with that, Mettaton smiles. Maybe today won’t be so boring after all!

***

“So, Tori says that she needs TP, yams, and, uh, ketchup.” Sans says, reading off of his phone.

Currently, they’re in one of their local supermarkets- Papyrus is pushing the cart, and Sans is sitting in the cart seat. There had been a brief moment where Papyrus had insisted that Sans get out of the cart, before realizing it was probably futile to even try and get Sans to leave- his brother is simply too lazy!!

Papyrus squints his eye sockets in disbelief. “Ketchup? You’re probably just trying to get me to buy more of it, Sans! There’s no way I’m falling for this again!!!”

Sans snorts. “Read it for yourself, bro.”

At this, Papyrus snatches the phone out of his brother’s hand- the phone is covered in some sort of greasy, probably hot-doggish residue that Papyrus does his best to ignore- and glances at the screen of it.

Sans has done this before, tacking on ketchup to the end of many grocery lists just to trick him into buying it- there’s no way he’s falling for it this time!

*Thank you very much for helping me out, Sans.   
*I would go myself, but there is no one else to watch Frisk and they seem to be bone-tired after their week of school!  
*If you do not mind, I will send you my list now, so you do not have to go through the trouble of calling me once you’ve arrived.  
*Although it is not a very long list to begin with- the only things on it are yams, toilet paper, and ketchup!

*good one tori  
*and don’t worry i’ll get right on it  
*it’s gonna be really skelefun 

The rest of their texts are filled with puns of a similar- aka horrible!!!- caliber.

Papyrus groans. “Oh, fine, Sans! But I’m going to be the one that gets the ketchup, so you don’t try and sneak any in the cart! This is only for Toriel- we already have enough ketchup as it is!”

And with that, Papyrus hands Sans back his phone, making way for the condiments aisle.

Papyrus has always loved the grocery store- everything is so organized here! And while the ones Underground had been nice, the ones on the surface are nowhere near comparison- aisles after aisles of neatly lined up products, helpful signs telling you where to go, free samples… they might be his favorite thing about the surface!

(When he had mentioned this to a fellow monster, particularly one that had been his cashier at another grocery store, they had given him an odd look and told him that that was pretty sad. Papyrus hasn’t mentioned his love of grocery stores since.)

When he arrives at the condiments aisle- thank you, helpful grocery store signs!- he’s met with a dilemma.

There are so many types of ketchup- organic, not organic, half organic, three-fourths organic… not to mention that there are twice as many brands for every type of ketchup! In their texts, Toriel hadn’t specified what type of ketchup she’d wanted, which leaves too much up to chance, in Papyrus’s opinion! While he’s no ketchup connoisseur, he doesn’t want to get any low-caliber type ketchup for Toriel! That just won’t do!

Hmm… for a moment, Papyrus considers searching up what kind of ketchup is the best, before realizing that that might take hours of intense scrolling through ketchup-related forums, and they only have so much time to get Toriel her groceries.

So, Papyrus settles for the next best thing- asking an employee for help! That’s what they’re there for, after all- surely they’ll have some recommendations!

It doesn’t take Papyrus long to find an employee- a tall human with red hair, tapping away on their phone, earbuds in.

With a pep in his step, Papyrus walks up to them. “Hello, grocery store employee! I, The Great Papyrus, would like to ask you a question about your products!”

The employee doesn’t answer, still staring at their phone. They probably don’t hear him! After all, they do seem to be listening to music with their earbuds.

Papyrus decides to speak up a little. Surely they’ll hear him now! “Hello, grocery store employee! I, The Great Papyrus, have a question for you!!”

For some reason, they still don’t move, not even acknowledging him. Their lips do twitch upwards, however. Maybe they’re listening to something really funny?

“Erm… you don’t seem to be able to hear me. Can you? I’ll just speak a little louder. I have a question for you!” 

Still, nothing. They’re smiling, now, staring at their phone. Papyrus doesn’t quite know what to do- he feels like he’s being perfectly clear! In fact, many have told him that he’s already loud enough on his own!

“I don’t- um, I’ll just repeat myself. Can you hear me??? I have a question for you!” Papyrus takes a step closer to the employee, just in case he’s too far away for them to hear. Even though he hadn’t been that far in the first place.

Something escapes their lips- a snicker. They don’t even seem to be doing anything on their phone. In fact, their phone isn’t even on.

For some reason, Papyrus doesn’t think the volume of their music is the problem.

“Um, I don’t- do you really not hear me? I feel like I’m being perfectly loud…” Papyrus murmurs, waving his hand in front of their face, “I, The Great Papyrus, would like to ask you a question about your products! More specifically, your ketchup products!!” 

At this, Papyrus points pointedly- pun not intended again!!!- at himself, and then gestures to the rows of ketchup lining the shelves.

They don’t even acknowledge this- their smile is growing wider, however, and their shoulders are shaking with laughter.

Papyrus groans in frustration, his shoulders slumping in defeat. They must be able to hear him, right?! He’s been plenty loud, and he’s even wildly gesticulating to himself! 

Papyrus doesn’t know what to do. He couldn’t be more clear- are they ignoring him on purpose? They do seem to be laughing, their eyes quickly flitting from him back to their phone.

Papyrus pushes this thought aside. They probably aren’t- and yet, as he sees them covering their mouth to hide their laughter, he feels even more frustrated. If they’re not pointedly ignoring him, then why haven’t they been able to hear him? They’re listening to music, which clearly indicates that they are able to hear- therefore, it makes no sense that they haven’t heard him yet!

Papyrus is at a loss for what to do. He’s frustrated, confused- aren’t employees supposed to help people out? He feels like he’s been perfectly polite and friendly to them! He just doesn’t know what to do. He can’t- he has to do something to get their attention!

“Excuse me, I-“

Suddenly, they burst into laughter, still not making eye contact with him- it’s as if they’re looking at everywhere but him.

“EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU!!!” 

Suddenly, everyone turns to look at him for a moment, stopping their shopping just to stare. The employee stops laughing, now staring at him judgmentally.

This all happens in a split second- and then, the shoppers go back to shopping, the clacking sounds of their grocery carts sounding throughout the store. 

The employee takes one earbud out, glaring at him. “Whatever, dude.”

And then they walk off, leaving Papyrus by himself in the aisle.

Papyrus stands there. He isn’t quite sure what to make of what’s just happened- and now the employee’s left before he could even ask his question.

(Clearly, they were ignoring him, right??? It wasn’t just them not being able to hear him???)

Quickly, Papyrus pushes these thoughts aside. Okay, so maybe they had been able to hear him- they were probably just pranking him, if anything- they seemed to be a teenager, and teenagers do that sort of thing all the time! 

(Papyrus hadn’t as a teenager. And Sans’s pranks had never been outright mean.)

And they had the right to be annoyed with him for yelling- even though Papyrus really hadn’t meant to yell. He had just been frustrated.

Yes. That’s it. Just a harmless prank that was not-so-fun in the end. Nothing wrong with that! It’s not as if they were doing it to him personally- they probably prank people all the time!

Yes. That’s all it was.

Now, Papyrus is left with the same dilemma as before. And while he could go up to another employee and ask for help, he doesn’t feel up to it- totally not because of the prankthatmusthappenallthetimeandnotjusttohim! He just… doesn’t feel like it!

Well, seeing as asking an employee is something he just doesn’t feel like doing right now for no reason at all, maybe there’s someone else he can ask! Sans isn’t around, and even if he was, Papyrus is still a bit dubious that Sans isn’t just trying to get more ketchup for himself.

He could ask Undyne! But she’s not exactly a fan of unhealthy food, and Papyrus is pretty sure ketchup counts as unhealthy, seeing as it goes on burgers.

There has to be someone who- wait! Mettaton makes burgers! Well, more specifically, he makes Glamburgers! Which! Still count!!!

Quickly, Papyrus opens up his direct messages with Mettaton. 

The excitement of messaging his favorite celebrity and newly found cool friend is almost enough to make him forget the whole employee incident!

Almost.

Papyrus quickly types out a message to Mettaton, reading it over for any typos before sending it.

*HELLO METTATON! I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU A QUESTION!  
*SPECIFICALLY, A FOOD RELATED QUESTION!  
*MORE SPECIFICALLY, A CONDIMENT RELATED QUESTION!  
*I FIGURE THAT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE SOME ADVICE ON THIS, SEEING AS YOU MAKE GLAMBURGERS, WHICH ONE COULD HYPOTHETICALLY USE WITH CONDIMENTS!  
*ANYWAYS, MY QUESTION IS, WHAT IS THE BEST TYPE OF KETCHUP? I’M GETTING SOME FOR A FRIEND AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY HAVE THE BEST-QUALITY KETCHUP THERE IS!  
*AND I DECIDED THAT WITH YOUR LEVEL OF CULINARY EXPERTISE- ALMOST ENOUGH TO RIVAL THE GREAT PAPYRUS’S!- THAT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION!  
*SORRY IF I AM INCONVENIENCING YOU! FEEL FREE TO RESPOND TO ME WHENEVER!  
*NYEHFULLY YOURS,  
*PAPYRUS

Papyrus stares at the message for a few minutes after spending it. Mettaton hasn’t responded yet- or read it, either. He must be busy! After all, being one of the biggest stars ever must not be easy work! 

Hopefully, it wasn’t too forward or odd of a message to send! After all, Sans is the ketchup-loving one, not him- everyone knows that!

In the end, Papyrus takes the same brand of ketchup he sees another shopper take, seeing as how Mettaton hasn’t read his message yet. Hopefully the brand isn’t too bad-quality! Even though he isn’t much of a ketchup fan, he doesn’t want Toriel and Frisk to have awful tasting ketchup, either!

Now, to find Sans and deliver the groceries to Toriel!

***  
“Alright, Blooky, are you ready to make the most fabulous cookies known to monster and man?”

“...oh….uh, yeah, I guess so...” Napstablook murmurs, gently floating up and down.

As of a few minutes ago, Mettaton has arrived at Napstablook’s apartment. While they could easily afford a much bigger place with the money they earn touring with Mettaton and being the best spooky DJ ever, they’d decided to simply live in an apartment complex instead.

Blooky’s place isn’t awful, though! In fact, it’s pretty nice- while there aren’t many decorations, that’s just Blooky’s aesthetic- they’re totally minimalist.

Mettaton pouts. “Oh, come on, Blooky, with more enthusiasm! Like this-“ Mettaton pumps an arm in the air, kicking one leg up behind him, “Ohhh, YES!!!”

“O-Oh… yes…” Napstablook hesitantly raises one of their little nubby arms in the air, “Did I do it right…..?”

Mettaton grins, pulling his cousin into a quick hug. “You totally did, Blooky! I’d dare say you’re almost as fabulous as me!”

Napstablook gives a shy little smile. “Oh… thank you, Mettaton… that means a lot…”

“It’s no problem at all, Blooky. Now, let’s get baking!”

The two cousins get to work, taking their various ingredients out- Mettaton had brought a few of his own- mostly just eggs, milk, edible glitter, edible sequins, very edible MTT Brand Glitter-Sequin Food Coloring…

In the end, they’d decided to just make half of the cookies, well, cookies, and half of the cookies ghost-cookies, so Blooky could eat them. Of course, they could have created the ghost cookies via other methods, but that would take a lot of time and effort- thankfully, Blooky has ghost ingredients in their fridge.

“So-o-o… how has your week been, Blooky? Do anything interesting?” Mettaton asks, looking at the recipe he’d chosen on his phone- they’re making snickerdoodles, but with a fabulous twist.

(The fabulous twist is, of course, glitter.)

“Oh…. my week has been okay, I guess… one of my neighbors gave me a coupon for half-off on laundry detergent, which was pretty nice of her…. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I don’t really wear any clothes, though… since I’m a ghost and all…” Napstablook says, creaming the butter and sugar carefully, albeit a little bit slowly. 

Mettaton laughs. “Oh, Blooky, you’re so silly! Well, either way, that sounds like a nice thing for her to do- pass me the cream of Tartar, please- did you do anything else? You told me that you were going to get a new couch, right? Did something happen to the last one?”

“Yeah, I did… um, I accidentally soaked my couch through…. I was crying a lot, and I guess my tears were too much for the couch to handle…. oh no, I feel so bad…. I ruined a perfectly good couch….” At this, Napstablook starts to tear up. Immediately, Mettaton rushes over to them, wrapping his arms around them.

“Oh, Blooky, don’t cry! It’s just a couch, I’m sure it’ll be alright- besides, if you want, I could go couch shopping with you! You know how good I am at all things design, including interior!”

Napstablook seems to cheer up a bit. “R-really….? You’d help me pick out a couch…?”

“Of course I would, Blooky! You know how much I love to see my dear cousin- besides, I’ve been thinking about getting a few new things for my house too,” Mettaton lets go of Blooky and moves to add the eggs in, “Oh, also- why were you crying in the first place? Did something bad happen?”

“Oh… I was crying because you had texted me, saying you wanted to come over to bake…. they were tears of joy….”

“Aw, Blooky!”

The two cousins continue baking, chatting some more. Mettaton feels happy- every time he hangs out with Blooky, he’s reminded of just how much he’d missed this sort of thing in the Underground.

Before they know it, it’s time for the cookies to go into the oven. Thankfully, the cookies don’t take too long to bake- so they’re left with a little break.

“Ooh, Blooky, do you have any new mixes! We could listen to that while we wait for the cookies to finish!” Mettaton’s eyes light up- it’s been a little while since he’s heard one of Blooky’s mixes. Occasionally, Blooky will send him little snippets of them, but listening to one in the full really has a different sort of feel. 

“Well, I have one that I’ve been working on….. sorry if it’s not that good…..” Napstablook makes their way over to their tape deck, putting a mixtape in.

“I’m sure it will be, Blooky. After all, you’re the best at making mixes- you always have been!”

The music starts. It’s a simple mix of a spook tune, with some spookwave-y aspects to it- so far, according to Mettaton, it’s amazing. Blooky really is very talented.

However, as Mettaton continues to listen, something sparks inside of him. Well, sparks isn’t the right word- more like emerges, or lingers, or whatever word you use to describe a feeling that isn’t exactly fabulous and that throws you back in the past.

It hadn’t been easy telling Blooky who he really was.

At first, Mettaton had held off on telling Blooky, simply because he hadn’t known how to go about doing such a thing- how do you admit to the person you’re the closest with that you’re you, after abandoning them for so long, after promising not to leave them?

Mettaton hadn’t kept up this charade for long, though- he’d ended up telling Blooky even before their surface careers had really even taken off.

Blooky had been happy, and yet sad- they seemed to have thought it was something they did that made Mettaton leave.

Things are much better now- they’re finally close again, like they used to be.

And yet, at times, it doesn’t feel the same. There are times where one of them will accidentally bring up something from the past- Hotland, or Mettaton’s old house, even something as minuscule as his old rectangular form- that will remind them both of what Mettaton left behind, and what he left it for.

If it was just the occasional awkward moment, Mettaton could deal with it. But it’s also in the way Blooky acts around him- they seem even more hesitant and shy than they were before, always doubting that Mettaton truly wants to be around them.

Looking at him like at any second he’s going to leave again.

Suddenly, the oven dings, snapping Mettaton out of that little jumble of thoughts.

“The cookies are ready! Help me get them out of the oven, Blooky!”

After the two manage to get the trays of cookies out of the oven, and wait for them to cool, Mettaton can’t help but admire their work. The trick had been to mix the glitter in the batter- the snickerdoodles are so shiny and pink, it’s a little hard to look at.

Mettaton doesn’t mind, however. In fact, if it doesn’t hurt your eyes, it’s probably not sparkly enough! Something he’s had to say countless times to Burgerpants about glamburgers.

“I think they’re cool enough to eat now- how amazing do you think they’ll be, on a scale of one to ten?” Mettaton asks, taking a bite of one.

Wow.

“Nevermind, don’t answer that, Blooky. The answer is that they surpass literally any numerical scale- honestly, the only way that I would even be able to express how good these cookies are are through elaborate song and dance.” Mettaton shakes his head in disbelief- well, he really shouldn’t be. After all, he does have his own cooking show.

“.....Yeah, they’re pretty good….. I think we made too many, though…..” Napstablook nods their head- well, rather, their whole body, in agreement.

“Well, I’m sure we can find people to give them to. I'll take some for Alphys, and we can give some to Shyren the next time we see her- oh! You can give some of these to the lady who gave you that coupon? Now doesn’t that sound absolutely perfect?” Mettaton smiles at his cousin- now maybe Blooky won't fret as much about the whole coupon incident. 

Before Napstablook can answer, a notification chimes on Mettaton’s phone. When Mettaton looks at his home screen, it’s packed with notifications- mostly people liking his pictures on various social media platforms, as well as multiple emails from people- no doubt forgetting he has both a PA whose name he can’t exactly remember right now, and a manager to field all these things.

Nothing out of the norm. To be fair, he hasn’t really been checking his phone all that much since they started baking- one notification does stand out from all the others, though.

A direct message from Papyrus. Curious- well, not all that curious, considering Papyrus has messaged him once before. But that was to talk about how they apparently shared plans, and, as far as Mettaton knows, he doesn’t have anything on his schedule that involves a tall skeleton. 

Mettaton opens the message, and immediately is slightly confused and surprised by what he sees. Ketchup?

Hmm…

***

“Well, brother, we have arrived! Should we call Toriel to tell her that we’re here, or…?” 

The two skeleton brothers are sitting in Papyrus’s car, parked outside of Toriel’s house, grocery bags in the backseat, bucked in- something Papyrus always insists on doing, because, as they say, safety first!

At least, that's what they had told him in all of those pamphlets at the car dealer’s shop!

“Let’s just get out and give them to her- don’t wanna have to make her carry them all back inside by herself, y’know? Although she probably could if she wanted to- she’s pretty goat at lifting things.” Sans shrugs casually, unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“But Sans, you’re on a strict schedule! Don’t you have a shift to do at work pretty soon??? You could get fired!!!” Papyrus glares at his brother- doesn’t Sans know that lazing about will only make him late to work? Well, it is pretty typical of Sans to be late to work, he supposes. 

“Nah, bro, we’ve got time. I scheduled it that way.” Sans gives him one of his somehow lazy winks, and gets out of the car, an armful of groceries in his, well, arms.

Sans actually scheduling his day out? Papyrus doesn’t know what to make of this- well, he’ll just decide to see it as another positive change Sans is making in his life! Along with waking up earlier, taking out the trash, having a job…

Papyrus follows Sans, making sure to carry the rest of the remaining groceries as they walk up Toriel’s front lawn.

Toriel is also doing quite well for herself! Then again, Papyrus doesn’t really know much about her life before he met her, so she might just be doing the same as ever. 

Her house is neat and tidy, in a nice little suburban neighborhood, with a neat little flower garden in the front- in her backyard, Papyrus has seen, she grows vegetables.

They walk up to her front door, Papyrus giving his standard three knocks, precise and sharp! Almost immediately after these knocks are swiftly delivered, Toriel opens the door, a smile on her face.

“Sans! It is a pleasure- oh, Papyrus! I did not know you would be coming along with Sans! It’s a pleasure to see you both, I should say.” Toriel clasps her hands together happily.

Papyrus likes Toriel- while her love for awful puns is something that is forever irredeemable, besides that, she has always been nice to both him and his brother whenever they cross paths! Which is quite often, considering the fact that she and Sans are friends, and also the other fact that she is now officially Frisk’s mom, so whenever they see Frisk, they see Toriel. It’s a double win!

“Hello, Toriel! I, The Great Papyrus, decided to help Sans out on his errand of bringing you groceries! It is nice to see you as well, by the way!” 

Sans grins. “Nice to see you too, Tori. Kid’s not exactly known for their patience, huh? We just saw ‘em last Tuesday. Where is the kiddo, anyway?”

“I believe that they are inside, coloring- or perhaps not!”

Suddenly, Frisk appears at the doorway, bouncing up and down on their feet, a big grin stretched across their face.

“Paps and Sans! You’re here!” They sign excitedly.

“Hey, kiddo. Just came over to ketchup with you.” Sans grins as he pulls a bottle of ketchup out of one of their grocery bags.

Toriel laughs loudly at this, and Frisk gives a grin of their own, doing finger guns.

Papyrus decides to ignore this pun- he’ll let it slide, considering the fact that he’s carrying too many groceries to properly stamp his foot in frustration. 

“Hello, Frisk! We have come to your house once again, bearing gifts! Or rather, just groceries, but they can be gifts if you wish to see them as so!” Papyrus greets, nearly falling over when Frisk gives him and Sans a big hug.

“Come in. Let’s play.” Frisk proceeds to gesture to the inside of their house. “Got a lava lamp. It’s really cool. Come see it.”

Toriel’s eyes light up. “Oh, where are my manners? Yes, please do come in! I have a pie that is just about to come out of the oven.” 

At this, Toriel opens the door a bit wider, stepping aside so the two brothers can come in.

Frisk impatiently tugs at their mother’s dress, a determined look on their face.

“Oh? What is it, my child?” Toriel asks, looking down at them.

“You made pie??? What kind??? Tell me mom.”

Toriel giggles. “It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie, my child- your favorite. Only this time, I have decided to try something new- I have added apples on top!”

Sans rocks back and forth on the soles of his feet- he looks happy. “Well, can’t say no to that. C’mon, Paps.”

“That sounds splendid! I-“ Papyrus pauses, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling his phone out of his pants, he reads the notification- it’s a message… from Mettaton!!!

Sans and Toriel have already walked inside, exchanging bad jokes with each other. Only Frisk remains at the doorway, staring at Papyrus expectantly.

“Paps come in so we can play!!! It’s lava lamp time!!!”

Papyrus smiles. “I will come in in just a moment, Frisk! And when I do so, we will play many valiant games, such as tag! Or Monopoly! Or whatever you desire! I just need one second, and then… nyeh heh heh! You will be bested in many a game by The Great Papyrus!” Papyrus picks Frisk up, playfully spinning them a round, before setting them back on the ground.

Frisk grins. “Okay I’ll go tell Mom and Sans!!! It’s Monopoly time!!!”

With that, the human runs inside, presumably to tell Sans and Toriel to ready themselves for a game of Monopoly.

Not wanting to keep either party waiting too long- the first party being Frisk, Toriel, and Sans, and the second party, of course, being Mettaton- Papyrus immediately opens up the message. He doesn’t exactly know why he’s decided to open it outside instead of in the house- well, maybe he does. After all, if it is something particularly exciting, he might freak out!!! A little!!!

The message reads as follows:

*The best type of ketchup?  
*Sorry, honey, but I’m not quite sure. The surface has so many types of brands that I can’t even name them all!  
*Besides my brand, of course, but you already knew that.

Papyrus can't help but smile at the message. Mettaton replied to him!!! Even though the reply is actually quite late.

*WELL, THANK YOU ANYWAYS, METTATON! I APPRECIATE YOU ANSWERING MY COOL MESSAGE!  
*I ALREADY GOT THE KETCHUP, JUST IN CASE YOU WERE CURIOUS!

The little three-dotted bubble types up- Mettaton is typing another response! Papyrus is on the edge of his seat- while he;s talked to the robot in person before, messaging with someone is completely different! For example, he can't even see Mettaton’s face! 

Messaging really is the most difficult puzzle there is to solve.

*Oh? That’s good, then, darling!  
*My apologies for not answering sooner, by the way- I just saw this message now.  
*What brand did you end up going with? Are you doing a cookout?

Papyrus is elated! A follow up question? That’s very good cool friendship!!! 

Quickly, Papyrus types out the brand of ketchup.

*AND, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, I AM NOT DOING A COOKOUT!  
*ALTHOUGH THAT WOULD BE QUITE FUN!!!  
*I AM SIMPLY PICKING IT UP FOR A FRIEND OF MINE! SHE REQUESTED THAT MY BROTHER PICK UP SOME GROCERIES FOR HER, SO I DECIDED TO HELP MY BROTHER DO SO!  
*IF I WERE DOING A COOKOUT, I PROBABLY WOULD NOT INCLUDE KETCHUP, THOUGH! IT IS MY LEAST FAVORITE OF ALL THE CONDIMENTS!

*My, my, how kind of you to do so! I can’t say I’m too big a ketchup fan myself- I’m more of an edible glitter-glue type of guy. Who isn’t, though?  
*Speaking of both glitter and edible things…

Both glitter and edible things??? The only thing that comes to mind for Papyrus is a glamburger. 

*Ta-daa! What do you think, darling?   
*You said you were an aspiring chef, if I remember correctly, so I want your opinion on these.

Under this message is a picture of perhaps the most sparkly, bright and pink cookies Papyrus has ever seen. Wowie!!! It actually hurts!!! A little!!! To look at!!! So Papyrus looks away while typing out his next message.

*W0W1E;;;  
*THSE SUORE LK GREATTT M4ATTON!!-

Okay, so maybe he shouldn’t have looked away after all- or not spellchecked his message before sending it.

*Thank you, darling!  
*I, too, am so dazzled by these cookies that I can barely type.  
*Honestly, they were quite easy to make- I might consider dedicating an episode of Cooking With A Killer Robot to them!

*I WOULD VERY MUCH WATCH THAT, METTATON!!!  
*HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN, BY THE WAY??? ACCORDING TO THE COOL FRIENDSHIP HANDBOOK, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ASK THAT TO YOUR COOL FRIENDS AT LEAST ONCE A DAY!!!

It takes Mettaton a minute to respond to that.

*It’s been rather good, beautiful.  
*Well, the first part of it wasn’t all that fun. One of the pipes broke on set so they had to end filming early just to fix it.  
*It was rather annoying.

Papyrus frowns.

*THAT SOUNDS NOT-SO-FUN!!!  
*WELL, HOPEFULLY YOUR DAY HAS GOTTEN BETTER SINCE THEN! I WOULD ASSUME IT HAS, SINCE YOU MADE COOKIES, WHICH EVERYONE LOVES!!!  
*UNLESS YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO COOKIES! OR THE COLOR PINK!!!

*I don’t quite know if there’s anyone who’s allergic to the color pink, but if they are, that must be quite the sad existence!  
*A truly decreased caliber of life indeed! I don’t know how they would go on…

*YES! THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO APPRECIATE THE WONDERS THAT THE COLOR PINK BRINGS! LIKE SUNSETS!

*Or cotton candy!

*CHERRY BLOSSOMS!

*Valentine's Day!

*PEPTO BISMOL!

At this, Papyrus can't help but laugh- who knew it was possible to have fun with someone without being with them in person???

*Pepto Bismol?!  
*That’s hilarious, darling! And ridiculous!  
*Although, if they have to take Pepto Bismol, I think they have bigger problems than their pink-allergy.

*I SUPPOSE THAT’S TRUE! TWO NOT VERY FUN PROBLEMS TO HAVE!

*Indeed.  
*How has your day been, by the way?  
*You asked me, so it’s only fair I ask you, darling!

*IT HAS BEEN VERY GREAT SO FAR!  
*THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!  
*I AM CURRENTLY AT TORIEL AND FRISK’S HOUSE!  
*I BELIEVE YOU KNOW THEM, RIGHT???

*I do indeed!  
*Toriel’s a dear, even though I really only met her after Frisk broke the barrier and was unconscious for, like, ever.  
*And Frisk is just a darling little child, too! I can just tell they’re going to be a big star when they’re older!  
*Well, I don’t want to keep you from your visit for too long.  
*It was nice talking to you, darling!

Papyrus is a little sad- he’d been having such a nice time talking to Mettaton! However, he doesn’t want to be too long either- after all, Monopoly and pie awaits!

*IT WAS NICE TALKING TO YOU TOO, METTATON!!!  
*I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON!  
*NYEHFULLY YOURS,  
*PAPYRUS

*Bye for now, darling!  
*Don’t go taking any Pepto Bismol!  
*Beautifully Yours,   
*Mettaton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! I hope you guys liked that chapter!  
> I was really happy to be able to write Napstablook, Frisk, and Toriel! There’ll be more of them in this fic, so look out for that!  
> Yay! More papyton interaction! They’re messaging now, so that’s another step in the right direction!  
> Also, if you didn’t know, Pepto Bismol is a pink medicine, used for when people have diarrhea. It’s a little crass, I know, but it was one of the only pink things I could think of on the spot!  
> Poor Papyrus. Surface life isn’t exactly easy for him- I felt bad writing his interaction with that douche-y grocery store guy. As for our dear MTT, writing his interaction with Clarissa was pretty fun! She won’t be super prominent until later, and even then, she’s more of a background character.  
> If you liked this chapter, please leave a comment and kudos! Until the next chapter!


	7. Knock Offs, Magazine Drops, and Protective Padding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton and Papyrus run into each other in town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! If you like this chapter, leave a comment and kudos! Hope you enjoy!

Comments Mettaton has read so far via typing his name in on various social media sites:

*mttbrandbitch: omg omg OMG mtt’s new magazine cover!!! How is it possible for someone to be so fucking beautiful smh

*michaleh: not gay but like… Mettaton’s new cover drop tho

*mettatonsdarling: BRO IM FUCKING SCREAMING WHO WAS GOIING TO TELL ME HE WAS ON THE COVER OF G&G??? WHO???

*asf2354: okay but that dress mtt is wearing??? Why does he look so good in everything??? Meanwhile my ass can’t even wear a fucking crop top without looking like shit :( also the way he’s holding that telephone tho… THE WAY HE’S LOOKING AT THE CAMERA I’M IN LOVE HE’S SO PRETTY

*maybeitsmettaton: today’s a good day y’all bought his fucking magazine cover and put it on my walllll- anyways ugh i just LOVE him so muchhhh

Ohh, yes! That’s right- the magazine cover photoshoot he’d done about a week or two ago has dropped today.

This is a day that Mettaton’s been looking forward to- while Mettaton has done photo shoots for magazines and such since coming to the surface- and even before, particularly on the hit calendar of the Underground, Mettaton Monthly- G&G is supposedly very popular with the humans. 

Not to mention that he’s very popular with the humans as well! It’s a perfect mix! 

As Mettaton scrolls through his comments section on Instagram, he can’t help but feel a little pang of happiness every time he reads a nice comment- which is every single comment, so Mettaton’s feeling quite amazing right now.

His fans mean everything to him- how could they not? They’re the ones that have gotten him this far- sure, of course his talent, good looks, and charm are what makes him a star, but a star is nothing without their audience! Like back in Waterfall- there had barely been an audience for him to perform to whatsoever, putting aside Shyra and Maddy- all he had been able to do was perform with Blooky and Shyren for them, hoping and dreaming that one day he would be where he is right now.

Well, of course, that hadn’t been the only reason he wasn’t a star. He hadn’t been comfortable as he was at the time, both body-wise and situation-wise- a total nobody who doesn’t feel comfortable in their own body doesn’t exactly add up to star quality, despite all his talent.

Now, however, he’s both a somebody and comfortable in his own skin- metal? Oh, whatever, Alphys probably knows that better than he would.

“Are we almost there yet, darling? I don’t have all day, you know.” Mettaton asks his personal driver.

Currently, they’re supposed to be on their way to his recording studio- after all, filming and magazine shoots aren’t the only thing he’s been working on.

While Mettaton has, in fact, released quite a few hit singles, he has yet to put out an album- he’s just been so busy! After all, he’s the most popular name in all things fabulous right now- and between shooting his various TV shows and movies, performing for adoring crowds of fans, and essentially just being his fabulous self, he hasn’t had a lot of time to work on his album as of late.

Luckily, his hit singles are constantly topping chart numbers everyday- in fact, one of them is playing right now from some radio station- apparently for the third time today, according to some tired sounding DJ.

“Almost. Lotta traffic today, so it should be a few more minutes before we get there.” His driver answers from behind his partition.

Mettaton sighs, albeit a bit impatiently. “Burgerpants, can you send Blooky and Shyren a text saying that I’ll be ever-so-slightly late? Say that it’s your fault or something.” Mettaton says to his unofficial PA, who looks as if he’d rather jump into ongoing traffic.

“Why do I have to say it's my fault? You’re the one who spent three...whole...hours picking out your outfit.” Burgerpants grumbles, begrudgingly typing out a text to the two aforementioned beauties. 

“Well, maybe if you took even half as much time picking out an outfit, you wouldn’t constantly be looking like an uncoordinated slob,” Mettaton rolls his eyes, giving Burgerpants’s outfit a once over, “I mean, seriously, darling, Birkenstocks? What are you, a middle-aged father of three? At least tuck in your shirt- honestly, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were deliberately trying to embarrass me.”

“They’re not Birkenstocks- these are cheaper.” Burgerpants mutters under his breath, and then immediately seems to regret doing so as soon as he realizes that Mettaton’s heard him- a talent he’s developed after listening to Burgerpants’s incessant whining for a while. 

Mettaton crosses his arms and leans back in his seat in disbelief. “You got knock-off Birkenstocks? Why even bother getting them in the first-“

“We’re here, sir.” His driver pipes up.

Oh. Well, that explains why they haven’t been moving for the past few minutes.

“Oh, wait! Before we get out.” Mettaton says, and quickly pulls out his phone, holding it out to his driver, “Could you take a quick picture of me, darling? I would get a certain someone to do it, but he’s on bag duty for today.”

Burgerpants mutters something under his breath once more- Mettaton doesn’t even bother to address it at this point. 

“Oh, sure.” His driver looks mildly surprised, but complies, getting out of his seat and walking over to Mettaton, who’s already stepped out of the vehicle.

As soon as the camera is pointed at him, Mettaton strikes a pose effortlessly, per usual. After a few solid minutes of picture-taking- Burgerpants looks as if he might collapse under the sheer amount of bags he’s carrying- Mettaton deems them fit to post, doing just that.

‘Thank you so much, beautiful. You can be back here by five-thirty to pick us up. Bye-bye!” Mettaton gives his driver a grateful smile and a wave, who just looks amused by the whole antic, nodding at him and getting back into the limo, driving off.

“You know, I’m really glad I had that limo bedazzled. They look so dreadfully drab without glitter, don’t you think?” Mettaton says aloud, walking into the studio, as a woman falls over on the sidewalk across the street, shielding her eyes due to the sheer brightness of the bedazzled glitter combined with the bright, beautiful sunshine.

***

“How was that take, darlings?” Mettaton asks, stepping out of the recording booth.

Singing is something Mettaton’s done since he was able to do, well, anything- the same also goes for dancing and acting. What can he say? He was a talented child.

It’s safe to say that performing is his life. If he can’t perform, then what’s the use of living? It’s what he’s always wanted to do since the start of his life, what he loves- so it all has to be perfect.

Which is why Mettaton has done about forty-eight takes.

It’s not that he doubts his talent- it’s obvious to everyone, obviously including himself, that he’s a star. There’s no doubt about it.

But if there’s even one part of this all that Mettaton doesn’t like, he’s going to work until it’s perfect. He didn’t work so hard to get to where he is now to not have a perfect end product of whatever he happens to be working on. There’s no excuse for not being the best you can be, after all!

(Which is probably why Burgerpants fails so often.)

“I think it was great, Mettaton…” Napstablook says, gently floating over to their cousin.

Shyren hums in agreement.

Mettaton smiles. Most people would get annoyed at him scrutinizing over every little detail, not stopping until everything is absolutely perfect and fabulous.

Not Blooky, though.

“Aw, thank you Blooky!” Mettaton wraps his arms around his cousin and his friend happily. “I think it was great, too! However, there is one little thing I’d like to do differently, so I think I’ll do another take.”

Burgerpants groans in the background.

“Oh, quiet, Burgerpants! You’re not even doing anything- honestly, you have nothing to complain about.” Mettaton snaps, and then turns his attention back to Shyren and Blooky.

While they both have endless patience for him- after all, they understand him- they do both look a little tired. Shyren looks like she’s struggling to keep her eyes open, and Blooky has to stifle a yawn.

It’s the early afternoon, but they’d actually arrived much earlier than he had and who knows how early the two had to wake up?

“I know I’m being pushy, darlings. I know. But this is what we’ve been waiting for! Everyone finally knows who we are now- think about how far we’ve come! We’re stars now!” Mettaton exclaims, looking at the two. 

They look tired and ever-so-slightly dubious. Mettaton gets it- after all, for most of their lives, they’d just been nobodies in Waterfall. But how can they not see that they aren’t anymore? Mettaton’s never felt more in place in his entire life!

“Blooky. Remember when it was just us, Maddy, and Shyra listening to your mixtapes?” Mettaton asks, something sparking within him, “Now the whole entire world is listening to them! And Shyren, darling- remember when you used to be so scared of singing in front of others that you’d run away at the thought of it? Now look at you! Singing in front of crowds of adoring, fabulous fans- we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be!” Mettaton wraps his arms around the two in a group hug, smiling- them all performing together just feels right.

Napstablook laughs a little, their eyes filled with happy tears. Shyren has a shy little smile on her face.

“Which is why this album needs to be perfect, you two. There’s no room for error- we’ve come too far for that.” Mettaton gently releases the two from his arms, staring at his high-heeled feet.

Mettaton can't even stand the thought of this album not being a success. If the humans and oysters were to hate it, if it were to be subpar, or if it were to not even drop at all- no. He’s not going to be that sad little ghost on that sad little snail farm anymore. That was never him. He’s finally where he was always meant to be, and he’s not going to mess that up.

No way, no day.

However. 

Shyren and Blooky are looking a little worse for the wear. And while Mettaton knows his voice is extremely melodious and a joy to the ears, Shyren and Blooky won’t be able to be at their best if they’re about to collapse.

“... Do you two beauties want some coffee? I know an excellent little place not too far from here!” Mettaton asks with a dazzling smile- he needs them to be excited about this.

“Coffee would be nice…” Shyren murmurs behind a faceful of her own hair.

“...oh, it would be…. I don’t want to make your assistant go all that way, though….” Napstablook looks hesitantly towards Burgerpants, who looks annoyed at having to do his job for once, heavens forbid.

“Oh, it’s no problem, darlings! I’ll go get it instead- why don’t you two take a little break while I’m gone? We’ve been working so very hard, after all.” Mettaton says, “Text me your coffee orders, okay? Alright, bye darlings! See you in a magnificent moment!”

And with that, Mettaton makes his fabulous exit from the recording studio- fabulous because, well, he’s also fabulous, but also because he uses his leg to dramatically kick the door open, and then sticks it up in the air for a solid few seconds.

Besides, he could use some fresh air. And a caffeine boost, too.

***

“I think I’ve figured out why I have yet to attend a job interview!” Papyrus declares.

He and Undyne are currently in some sort of athletics shop, browsing for protective padding for her next self-defense class.

(Undyne had originally wanted to forgo protective padding for her students, but had then come to the conclusion that, while not visually “badass”, protective padding would provide a level of safety that was, “JUST AS BADASS!!! BECAUSE SAFETY IS NO JOKE!!!”)

Papyrus is secretly a little relieved- after all, Undyne’s methods of training can be a little injury-inducing, if one can’t properly supplex boulders and such. Plus, Papyrus agrees! Safety is no joke!

Which is why he’s installed two extra seatbelts in his car.

“Yeah? Why?” Undyne asks, picking up a case of weights and casually supplexing it as they browse.

“Because I haven’t been looking in the right places! Apparently nobody reads the newspaper anymore??? Which apparently means that most things must be in not-newspapers!” Papyrus says proudly- he’d come across this information from the most qualified person to tell him about surface life- Frisk!

When they had come upon him glancing at a copy of Toriel’s newspaper during his and Sans’s visit to Toriel’s house the other day, they had proceeded to inform him that newspapers were apparently a dying industry and that there were entire websites dedicated to finding jobs.

“That’s totally true!!! I mean, I got my spot at the gym by walking past a building- they had this ‘help wanted’ sign up, so I just walked right in and suplexed their receptionist’s desk!!! And then they gave me the job!!!” Undyne grins happily, “It was totally fate!!! I mean, Alphys had to come down to the place to tell them that supplexing was a totally normal thing to do back in the Underground- at least for us- so they wouldn’t sue. But besides that, they were totally impressed!!! And now my job totally rocks!!!”

“Wowie!” Papyrus’s eyes light up, “I never considered going in and suplexing someone!!! Which doesn’t seem like a very safe business practice, but still! Do you think I should do that???”

Undyne shrugs. “Well, after, Alphys told me humans don’t really like it when you suplex their stuff or whatever. But it was a gym, so I guess that’s more acceptable??? I guess you’ve gotta see if it’s a suplexing type of environment!”

“But Undyne,” Papyrus points out, “You suplex in every type of environment!”

Undyne pauses, and then grins. “Guess I do!!! It’s ‘cause every type of environment is a suplexing type of environment, punk!!! C’mere!”

Papyrus narrowly manages to avoid being suplexed- what a relief! 

“I’m going to go ask one of the store employees if they have your protective padding!” Papyrus says, mostly as a means to further avoid any suplexing, “Stay here! And, erm, try not to suplex anything!!!”

Hurriedly, Papyrus rushes away from Undyne- when she gets all suplex-y, it’s best to keep away from her, Papyrus has learnt.

Spotting an employee isn’t hard at all, considering the fact that there’s a bored looking one at the register, boredly chewing some sort of gum and fiddling with the register.

For a moment, Papyrus freezes. The last time he’d talked to an employee, they had seemed to just… ignore him??? And had burst out laughing at one point, too. What if this employee does the same?

Papyrus shakes his head. It was just one less than-fun experience! That doesn’t mean all employees are like that! Besides, that employee had clearly been a juvenile teenager, just pulling a… harmless prank on him!

This employee doesn’t look like a teenager, either, which is a plus! And even if she was a teenager, it doesn’t mean she’s going to. Pull some sort of probably harmless prank on him that draws everyone’s attention to him in the store!

Probably.

“Hello, athletics store employee!” Papyrus temps up to the counter with a friendly smile on his face. 

“Hi, how may I help you?” The employee glances up from the register, her voice monotone.

So far, Papyrus is off to a great start! She’s actively listening and responding to him! And not laughing, too! 

Still, though, Papyrus can’t help but wonder if she’s a teenager or not. In the Underground, it’s simple to be able to tell one’s age- children typically wear striped shirts, for instance.

However, on the surface, it’s less easy, since striped shirts seem to be a common thing between humans of all ages alike. 

“If I am correct, you are in your… thirties??? Probably???” Papyrus asks, trying to get clarity on this small issue.

“I’m twenty-five.” The employee says, now glaring at him.

“Oh!” 

There is a brief silence between the two of them.

“Did you want to return something?” The employee asks, still glaring at him. Papyrus begins to wonder if maybe asking her age wasn’t the best idea- but he had been so confused! Well, not terribly confused, but still! He hadn’t meant to make her feel bad!

“No, I did not! I actually wanted to ask you if you have any protective padding in stock! The kind that helps you stay safe when you are suplexing and being suplexed, specifically!”

“We don’t have that here right now.” The employee responds, focusing her attention back on the register.

(Papyrus is just relieved that she’s not glaring at him anymore.)

“Oh. When will you have it, then? Perhaps my friend and I could stop by when you do and purchase some!” Papyrus asks.

“I don’t know.” Is the employee’s simple response.

Papyrus doesn’t quite know what to say to this. “Erm… do you know where else I can find protective padding?”

The employee lifts her head back up to look at him, looking somewhat… irritated. “Try CVS.” 

Something in her tone makes Papyrus feel like she’s less-than-happy right now. Papyrus shrinks- he really hadn’t meant to be rude. 

Before Papyrus can apologize to her, she’s already started helping out the next customer, leaving Papyrus standing there awkwardly.

He should go find Undyne, probably.

***

“Well, that was a total bust. We didn’t get any protective padding and I had to pay them in damages! It’s not my fault I dropped that crate of weights on the floor!!! Well, I guess it kinda is, but it barely made a dent! Great, now I’ve gotta find a way to tell Alphys that this happened again.” Undyne groans. 

The two are walking down the strip of shops and restaurants all lined up together- while it’s not as busy and cool as downtown, Papyrus is still amazed at the quantity of places there are to go here!

“I’m sure Alphys will understand! After all, she is very… understanding!” Papyrus says in an effort to comfort Undyne.

And it works! Judging off of the smile on Undyne’s face, anyway.

“Yeah- she’s the best, isn’t she? THE BEST GIRLFRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD!” Undyne yells passionately, “I mean, just look at her!!! I’m the luckiest monster ever!!! Ugh, I wish she could be here right now! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!”

“I can show you her right now!” Papyrus pulls out his, about to pull up Alphys’s Instagram page so Undyne’s wish can come true, before he’s stopped by the sight of something else.

There on his feed is a picture of Mettaton, posing strikingly, giving a sly, confident look to the camera.

The caption is as follows:

*Such hard work being this fabulous!

The post already has well over a million likes! Wowie! The most likes Papyrus’s posts have ever gotten were a solid six!

A like from Sans, Undyne, Toriel, Frisk, Alphys, and someone by the username of “bbgrlalice4600”

(Alice had also left a rather emoji-filled comment describing how she was very lonely and looking for company! She hadn’t responded to his offer to be cool friends, though- maybe she’d already found some!)

“Is that Mettaton?” Undyne asks suddenly.

“Yes! It is! I think he posted this a little bit-“ Papyrus begins, before being cut off by Undyne.

“No, Paps! Over there!” Undyne points her finger in front of them, to where,in the windows of a coffee shop, Papyrus spots Mettaton, grabbing something off a counter.

“Wowie! I can’t believe he’s here, too!” Papyrus remarks, not quite being able to take his eyes off of the star.

While Papyrus is still starstruck at the sight of the robot, he also feels less nervous than last time- after all, they’re cool friends! Plus, he doesn’t feel like he’s about to faint, or has the urge to run away and hide!

After their last conversation, he feels a little more confident in seeing Mettaton! After all, Mettaton had seemed to enjoy talking to him as well, even calling him hilarious! Which is quite a relief, to be honest, because after he nearly keeled over at the sight of Mettaton during their first meeting, he had been worried that the star would always view him as, well, the type of person who nearly faints at the sight of him!

Plus, they had also had a nice conversation during their night out with Undyne and Alphys! Multiple nice conversations! No wonder they’re cool friends now!

Still, though- it’s a bit surprising to see the performer right in front of him! Well, some feet away, but still! 

Papyrus looks to Undyne to see her expression- he knows she and Mettaton don’t get along too well. However, when he turns to look at her, she’s gone!

Or, more specifically, already walking towards Mettaton.

“Let’s go annoy the shit out of him!!!” Undyne laughs, suddenly sprinting towards the coffee shop at top speed.

“Undyne! Wait up! Do not leave the skeleton behind!” Papyrus calls, running after her.

Papyrus is already worried about what might happen- thankfully, he’s able to catch up to Undyne, who’s already ran inside.

Unfortunately, it’s too late- Undyne’s already behind Mettaton, who’s distractedly carrying both a tray of coffee and a very sparkly Frappuccino. 

“YO, BOLTS FOR BRAINS!”

Mettaton startles ever-so-slightly, tensing up for a split second, before turning around to face Undyne, an unimpressed look on his face.

“Oh. It’s you.”

However, when Mettaton spots Papyrus, something in his expression changes a little. “And Papyrus, too! Well, welly well well, isn’t this quite the coincidence?”

“It is!” Papyrus nods, “We were just here in the area as well, when we saw you in here! And we, erm, figured we’d come and greet you like cool friends would!”

Mettaton raises an eyebrow dubiously, glancing at Undyne. “By trying to give me a fright? Not that it worked, by the way.”

“Sure, totally,” Undyne rolls her eyes, “I was just messing with you, dude. You don’t have to get all prissy about it.”

Uh oh! It seems like this conversation is taking a turn for the worse- Mettaton seems quite annoyed at Undyne’s antics! And annoying your friends is not really a cool friend thing to do, right? It’s up to Papyrus to salvage this, to make the two get along- hopefully Mettaton isn’t annoyed at him, either!

“Wowie, Mettaton!” Papyrus pipes in, raising his voice about three octaves, “That sure is a lot of coffee! Are you perhaps planning on drinking all that yourself? Because! If you do! You might! Have a stroke.”

Mettaton stares at Papyrus for a second, and then snorts. “Oh, no, darling, this isn’t all for me- I’m picking it up for my fellow bandmates. I couldn’t possibly drink all of this myself- who knows what that would do to my batteries?”

“Fry them, hopefully.” Undyne says, although she doesn’t seem as tense as she had been before, either.

“Oh, please, darling. With that type of energy, I’d paint the town pink.” Mettaton retorts- but he doesn’t seem as tense, either! Who knew just bringing up someone’s coffee order could dissolve such tension? Papyrus makes a mental note of this, for future reference. 

“Well, coffee is better than ketchup, at any rate! Which is all my brother drinks. Continuously.” Papyrus shakes his head in disapproval- if they weren’t skeletons, Sans would probably have many ketchup-related health issues by now! 

Mettaton looks at him in disbelief. “Your brother drinks ketchup? Don’t tell me he drank the ketchup you bought the other day, darling.”

“He did not, in fact! He might have, except I kept it under heavy, guardsman like watch the whole time! And also, it was Toriel’s, and since they are friends, I don’t think it would be very good friendship for him to drink her groceries, just as how I have refrained from drinking Undyne’s groceries! No groceries were drank, in short!” Papyrus says proudly.

“You know what you should do, Paps? You should take all your brother’s ketchup bottles and dump them out! GET RID OF THAT GREASY CRAP!!! AND FILL IT WITH HEALTHY STUFF!!! LIKE KALE!!! AND SPINACH!!! AND LETTUCE!!!” Undyne shouts, with a pure look of determination in her eyes.

(Papyrus considers doing this for a moment, before realizing that Sans has a knack for hiding his ketchup bottles where Papyrus just can’t seem to find them. Knowing Sans, they’re probably right under his nonexistent nose- like under his own bed!)

“Your variety when it comes to vegetable options astounds me, Undyne darling,” Mettaton says, back turned towards them, gathering a few napkins and straws, “Although I suppose leafy greens are what one tends to think when vegetables are brought up. Isn’t ketchup made with tomatoes, though? So, really, if you think about it…”

“I don’t care what anyone says! Ketchup ain’t healthy for you! And tomatoes should be fruits, too!” Undyne shakes her head- after Mettaton gathers a few more napkins and things of that caliber, he begins to walk out, Undyne and Papyrus following suit alongside him.

“Maybe you could ask a Vegetoid what they consider tomatoes to be! Although maybe they would take it personally, so on second thought, maybe don’t do that?” Papyrus suggests helpfully- personally, he considers tomatoes to be a key part of making the perfect pasta, and that’s all he really needs them to be!

“I’m sure Alphys can settle this little dispute- after all, she knows everything science-y.” Mettaton says, with a flip of his hair.

“Shoot! I almost forgot to tell you guys!!!” Undyne shoots up suddenly, her eyes lighting up, “Alphys and I were thinking that we could all do karaoke again! Like, every weekend or something! Like how those tacky-ass moms on reality TV have moms night out! Except none of us are moms! It’s gonna be non-moms night out, punks!!!”

Papyrus grins. Besides him being too full to perform- totally not being too nervous and anxious to perform in front of Mettaton- karaoke had been great! After all, having out with your cool friends can be very fun, and it had been very fun!

“That sounds great, Undyne! I, for one- I, being The Great Papyrus, of course- would love to have annual karaoke nights!”

“Hell yeah!” Undyne pumps her fist in the air, “What about you, robo-bitch? You in???”

Mettaton looks thoughtful. “Hmm… well, if I’m going to be honest, darling, doing karaoke again does sound quite fun, and, obviously, I’m not one to turn down the opportunity to show just how talented I am, but I do have a lot on my schedule.”

Undyne groans. “C’mon! Dude, Alphys really wants you there- you’re telling me you can’t clear your schedule just for one night?”

Mettaton glares at Undyne. “It’s not up to me, darling- you know, seeing as how I have prior obligations, being a performer and all.”

Papyrus can already feel tensions rising again- Undyne and Mettaton are outright glaring at each other, which can’t mean anything good friendship-wise!

“Why don’t you just try to come to whichever ones you can? No one will hold it against you if you can’t make it!” Papyrus looks at the two, hoping this will make them both a little less… tense-y?

Mettaton seems to consider this. “Oh, alright. I’ll see what I can do- mind you, it’s not that I want to not go or anything, but you have to understand, darlings, I’m booked for many projects months in advance, so it’s really not all that easy to change my whole calendar.”

Undyne nods, accepting this. “Alright, that’s cool- but you better show up to some, punk!!! I’m holding you to it!!!”

“Oh, don’t worry, darling- I’ll be there to show you all what true star power looks like! Hint- it’s me.” Mettaton winks, causing Undyne to roll her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah! Alright, you two, I’ve gotta go! I’m covering someone’s class today- Paps, you need a ride?”

Papyrus shakes his head. “Never fear, Undyne, for I drove myself here! So you won’t have to risk making yourself late to your class!”

Undyne nods. “Alright, dude! See you! You too, bucket of bolts!”

And with that, Undyne runs off, presumably towards her job! Which is something Papyrus hasn’t been able to do in a while. But that’s no matter!!!

“Charming as ever, Undyne!” Mettaton calls after Undyne sarcastically, and then turns to Papyrus, “She really is something, isn’t she?”

“Yes! She is!” Papyrus agrees, although he somehow gets the feeling that Mettaton isn’t saying this in a completely cool friendship way towards Undyne.

“Well, where are you headed now, darling? Anywhere exciting?” Mettaton asks, giving Papyrus a smile.

“Well, I assume I’ll be headed back to my car! I parked in the wrong parking lot, however, so The Great Papyrus has a slightly long walk ahead of him!” Papyrus responds.

“Oh? Which one?”

“Erm… the one that way, I think? I just remember regretting parking as soon as I did.” Papyrus points to the length of sidewalk behind Mettaton. The reason he’d parked there in the first place had been simple- he’d greatly miscalculated how far the store he and Undyne would be meeting up in was from the parking lot. 

“Well, seeing as that’s the direction I came from, would you like to walk together? Since we’re going the same way and all.” Mettaton offers, and Papyrus had to hold back from what feels like a very large smile.

Wowie! Mettaton wants to walk with him. Well, he shouldn’t be so surprised- after all, they’re cool friends now! And cool friends walk places together!

“The Great Papyrus would be honored to walk with you, Mettaton!” Papyrus declares, the two falling into step alongside each other, “Did you park there too?”

Mettaton takes a sip of his Frappuccino and shakes his head. “Oh, no- remember when I said that I was bringing all these to my fellow bandmates? Well, we’re all at the recording studio right now, which isn’t too far from here- I figured I’d bring them a little pick me up.”

“Wowie! A recording studio! What were you working on, Mettaton? If you don’t mind me asking, that is! The Great Papyrus doesn’t pry! He only politely asks cool questions and respects other people’s boundaries!”

Mettaton laughs. “Glad to hear it, darling. Now… can you keep a secret?”

Papyrus’s eyes light up. A secret? That’s even more cool friendship-y than walking with someone! “I can indeed keep a secret! Keeping secrets is something I’m very well-known for, actually! Well, I would be, if anyone asked me to keep them!”

“Alright. But I’m trusting you, darling, so please don’t go spilling this information to anyone else.”

“My non-existent lips are sealed!” Papyrus mimes locking his lips with a key, and then stops in his tracks, bending down.

“Um… what are you doing, Papyrus?” Mettaton asks, sounding confused.

“I’m picking up the key that I just used!” Papyrus responds, “After all, one shouldn’t go throwing keys around! What if you might need them later?”

Mettaton giggles at this. “You’re funny, darling- I suppose you’re right, though. Although I’ve found that, in past experiences, throwing keys away can be really cathartic… and dramatic.”

“Oh! Do you throw away keys often?” Papyrus asks, straightening up and putting his key in his pocket. 

Something in Mettaton’s expression changes, his eyes widening ever-so-slightly.

“My secret is,” Mettaton begins, talking a little bit faster, “that I’m currently working on an album. My very first on the surface, to be exact.”

(For a moment, just a moment, Papyrus wonders why Mettaton seems to have skipped over his question, and why he had gotten such a strange look on his face, a different inflection of his voice- but it’s probably nothing. Maybe Mettaton is afraid of keys.)

“Wowie! A new album! That sounds very great and exciting! When will it come out?” Papyrus can’t help but feel excited at the prospect of the star releasing a new album- after all, he still is a fan of Mettaton, cool friend or not!

“I honestly don’t know,” Mettaton sighs, “I mean, we’ve written a couple of the songs, but we’re still in the process of recording them and writing a few others. Not to mention shooting music videos and such… plus, there are always things that can be improved upon. I’d like to have it out soon, though, but realistically, it could take some time.”

Papyrus can’t help but notice Mettaton’s expression- he looks worried, in a way, a slight frown gracing his features, eyes downcast. He’s probably stressed- Papyrus would be, too, if he had to do all that!

“I just want it to be perfect, honestly. I mean, I’d like everything I do to be absolutely flawless, which means spending a lot of time perfecting it. But I’m not going to lower my standards just to get something rushed out- people can tell. And even if they couldn’t, I would be able to, which would make it all the more hard to be proud of my work.” Mettaton says, furrowing his eyebrows- and then he shakes his head, “Well, either way, that’s not going to happen. After all, everything I create is absolutely fabulous- make no mistake, I make no mistakes! I mean, look at where I am now!”

“Well, I think your album is going to be amazing!” Papyrus says, giving Mettaton a smile- while Mettaton suddenly seems to be in a better mood after what he’s just said, he still wants to reassure the robot, so he continues, “And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking your time to get something right! Once, I spent five entire days making a single plate of spaghetti just so it could be up to the Papyrus Standard!”

Mettaton raises an eyebrow, a smile on his face. “Oh? And what does the Papyrus Standard entail, might I ask?”

“Well, for one, all the spaghetti must be of equal measure! Although if we’re talking non-spaghetti standards, I would say that everything has to be done with greatness in your step! Like walking! I’m walking with greatness in my step right now!” Papyrus proudly gestures to his legs, which are walking with their usual greatness- that greatness being an extra spring in his step!

“Ooh, that’s a good mindset to have! ‘Do everything with greatness…’ I’ll have to remember that one.” Mettaton remarks, “Although, to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything with un-greatness- I mean, look at me. I don’t think I’d ever be capable of doing something that wasn’t one-hundred percent fabulous!”

“Well, actually, I don’t know what something un-great would be.” Papyrus fiddles with the hem of his shirt in thought.

“Birkenstocks.” Mettaton snorts, rolling his eyes.

Papyrus doesn’t quite get this statement, but he doesn’t dispute it. “Well, actually, Hotland wasn’t that great- besides you, of course!”

Mettaton smiles. “Aw, thank you darling- I agree, I do have a tendency to make anything better once added to it. I take it you didn’t live in Hotland, then?”

Papyrus nods. “You are very right! I lived in Snowdin- which is pretty much the exact opposite of Hotland, now that I think about it, so therefore the greatest place in the Underground!”

“Well, I’ll admit, I didn’t go to Snowdin all that often- it was a bit too cold for my tastes. Although I’m sure it had its charms.” Mettaton responds, “Was there much to do there? I’ve heard the place had great food.”

“There was, in fact, a lot to do in Snowdin! That’s what made it such a great place for The Great Papyrus to live in! There was plenty of room for puzzle construction, for example.” Papyrus recalls- most of Snowdin was just forest, which left a lot of room to make various types of puzzles in the snow.

“So you're a puzzle fan, then? Did you make a lot of them? ”

“I am indeed! I find puzzles to be one of the best things life has to offer! Besides spaghetti and trousling one’s bones,” Papyrus exclaims, “And I did make a lot of them, too! In fact, most of them were very helpful when it came to stopping Frisk! Although technically I didn’t stop them… but that was purely out of my own volition! Very much not out of not wanting to capture my friend!!!”

Mettaton’s eyes light up. “Oh, you tried to capture Frisk too? I think just about everyone did, honestly- how did you meet them?”

“Well, it was a normal day as any other, me doing my job as a very excellent sentry of Snowdin forest, when my brother and I happened to encounter the human! After that, it was all puzzles and cool-friendship making!” Papyrus describes- the day is still so fresh to him. He’d woken up that day to go do his job- and he’d done it! Such was life in Snowdin at the time, a very purposed life- not that he doesn’t have a purpose now, of course. 

“You were a sentry? My, my, I didn’t realize I was in the presence of such a high-ranking skeleton.” Mettaton winks, and Papyrus feels his face flush just a tiny bit- it's one thing to see Mettaton wink on screen, but another to have him do it directly to you in person! 

“I was! I was aiming to be a member of the Royal Guard, but sadly, Frisk freed us all after that, and I never got the chance to! Well, not sadly- only sadly because I never got to become a royal guardsman!”

“Well, I’m sure you would have made a great guardsman. I, for one, am glad that Frisk freed us as soon as they did- honestly, if we were in the Underground, we probably would have already made it through Hotland by now,” Mettaton rolls his eyes, “Well, maybe not. While Hotland wasn’t all that bad for me, there were ever so many lasers and conveyor belts. I used to have Alphys just deactivate them for me whenever I wanted to go somewhere.”

“Nyeh heh heh! A sign of a bad puzzle! Puzzles should not be inconvenient, but rather a convenience! You should be able to look back on the puzzle you have solved and go, ‘ Wowie! What an amazing puzzle! I’m so glad I ran into it on my way to the Librarby!’”

Mettaton grins. “That does sound like a great response, darling. That’s the same way I feel about performing, actually- the audience should leave feeling like they’ve just seen something so fabulous that they don’t know what to do with themselves. Not something that’s just a mediocre way to spend your Friday night.”

“Well, I, The Great Papyrus, can assure you that I have left your performances feeling very much like what you just described! The fabulous part, that is- not the mediocre part!” Papyrus assures Mettaton.

Mettaton chuckles. “Well, I’m certainly glad you feel that way, darling. Performing is my life, so it does make me happy to hear that my stardom reaches others- speaking of…”

Mettaton stops walking for a moment, gesturing to a local magazine stand. It takes Papyrus a moment to spot what Mettaton is pointing out to him- and when he does, he gasps.

“Wowie!!! I can’t believe you’re on the cover of all these magazines! That must have taken forever to do!”

Mettaton shakes his head. “Oh no, darling, they’re all the same one- I shot this cover very recently, in fact. It’s just nice to see it here of all places- I mean, it wasn’t the first cover I’ve ever shot, but it’s certainly one of the more glamorous.”

Papyrus can’t help but agree- the two continue to keep walking, Mettaton putting down a copy of the magazine.

“The set they had me shooting on was gorgeous, too- I remember one time, for Mettaton Monthly, I had tried to take this one shot next to some flowers that were in the middle of a conveyor belt, for some reason. It took ages, darling- besides, my photographer was totally incompetent, and he kept getting his fingers in the lens- it was quite the spectacle.” Mettaton shakes his head in annoyance.

“Yet another one of the many downsides to doing anything in Hotland!” Papyrus says, crossing his arms.

“Oh, come on, darling, Hotland wasn’t all that bad. It was one of the more modern areas of the Underground, for one.” Mettaton replies, hands on his hips- looks like they’re both in cool debating poses!

“Nyeh heh heh! That is true… but! Snowdin was charming because it wasn’t too advanced! Like the Librarby!”

Mettaton laughs. “Ooh, darling, I respectfully disagree- in Hotland, you could get really fabulous lighting for your photos off of all that lava. What’s better than that?”

“Making snow-Papyruses! If you tried to do that in Hotland, you would burn yourself!” Papyrus counters.

“You may be right, but consider- my resort is there!”

“Well, Snowdin had Grillby’s- actually, that might be a downside, probably. Nevermind, but consider… cinnabunnies!”

“A fabulous, bright sign welcoming you!”

“Boxes!” 

“A lack of boxes!”

(For a second, Papyrus wonders if Mettaton was the person who put that box hater sign in Waterfall, before shaking his head- Mettaton never seemed to film anything in Waterfall, so, presumably, he probably didn’t go there all that much!)

And then, Mettaton smirks. “Actually, honey, I’ve figured it out- the fault of Snowdin is right in the name! Snow! It’s cold, wet, it gets in your high heels… who wants to live somewhere that’s constantly freezing? I’d much rather live in a place where you don’t have to worry about all your circuitry growing icicles if left uncovered, darling.”

Papyrus shakes his head slowly. “Nyeh heh heh… but Mettaton, have you forgotten? After all, the place that you feel is so great has an even more obvious flaw in the name- Hotland!”

Mettaton gasps, dramatically placing his hand against his forehead. “Oh, my! It can’t be… how could I have been so easily bested?! Oh, woe is me!”

“Nyeh! Mettaton, no! Don’t become woed!”

“I fear this is it, Papyrus... the shame of missing such an obvious flaw... is overtaking me...” Mettaton slumps dramatically against a building, eyes closed.

At this, there’s a silence- and then they both begin to laugh. Papyrus can’t help it! He’s having fun!

After they both calm down, Mettaton nods. “It seems that you’re right, though- the problem all along was temperature! Who knew? I suppose the best place to live would be in one that isn’t too hot or too cold.”

“I agree! Somewhere like… Temperature-Neutralville! The place where it’s never too snowy or lava-y!” Papyrus exclaims.

Mettaton laughs. “The place where you’re required to wear drab, seasonally neutral attire at all times! Oh, that would be so dreadful- I wouldn’t be able to wear any of my fabulous faux-fur winter coats. Just regular faux-fur coats. Imagine!”

“Wait- oh no! How would you do your Mettaton Monthly calendar? You wouldn’t be able to do any of the hot or cold months!” Papyrus laments- how else would he keep track of the months in a way that wasn’t just looking at his phone?

Mettaton’s eyes widen. “Oh my, that’s quite a dilemma indeed… well, I would just do an entire calendar of myself posing fabulously as I always do, I suppose… just picture me, posing fabulously… for, like, three months of the year… still glamorous.”

Before Papyrus can respond, Mettaton stops. 

“Is something wrong, Mettaton? Don’t worry, the surface has all kinds of seasons, so you can still do Mettaton Monthly if you want to!”

“Oh, no, it’s not that- I just realized that we may have passed the recording studio,” Mettaton glances at something on his phone,” “...And we did indeed.”

“Oh no!” Papyrus puts both hands on both sides of his head in distress, “How far back was it?”

“Not too far back- just around that corner we passed a few minutes ago,” Mettaton slips his phone back into his purse, muttering something under his breath about the time, “Well, I should be going back now, darling. It was lovely chatting with you.”

“I could walk back with you, Mettaton, if you would like!” Papyrus offers- they had been having so much fun! Being cool friends really is one of the better things in life!

“Oh, it’s fine, darling. I won’t make you walk anymore than you already have to,” Mettaton shakes his head, dumping his empty Frappuccino cup in a nearby trash can, “Thank you, though, beautiful. Toodles!” 

Mettaton gives him a graceful wave, and then proceeds to walk off, leaving papyrus standing on the sidewalk.

“Goodbye, Mettaton!”

Even though their time together had to be cut short, Papyrus can’t help but feel very great- who would have thought he and Mettaton would be able to be cool friends! 

As Papyrus continues to walk to his car, feeling stupendous after his fun talk with the star, something nags at him- Undyne having to go to cover a class, Mettaton working on an album, Sans being at work- it seems that everyone is busy except for him.

But, as he unlocks his car, Papyrus pushes these thoughts aside- it’s no time to be thinking about that sort of thing! The future is looking bright for him- he’s found a new way to get interviews, and he and Mettaton are becoming closer cool friends!

Everything is going great! 

Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! I hope y’all enjoyed that chapter! Leave a comment and kudos if you did!
> 
> I know that much hasn’t been going on so far, but believe me, this is only the beginning. Get prepared for some major angst...
> 
> Papyrus is now one step closer to finding a job! Hooray! Here’s to hoping his future interview goes well... hopefully.  
> Mettaton’s a little stressed in this chapter. Frappes can make anything better, though... and people loving your magazine drop. Also, Shyren was introduced! 
> 
> Till next chapter! Leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed this one! Bye bye!

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and kudos if you liked this fic! Which, hopefully you did.


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